AITA for telling my classmate’s mom that she should look at her son before blaming me for not choosing him as a prom partner?

A Redditor shared a heated encounter with a classmate’s mom who confronted them about refusing to partner with her son for an upcoming prom. Despite politely declining due to having a partner, the mom accused the Redditor of being disrespectful. In frustration, the Redditor told her to reflect on her son’s behavior before placing blame. The situation escalated, leaving the Redditor wondering if they were out of line. Read the story below.

‘ AITA for telling my classmate’s mom that she should look at her son before blaming me for not choosing him as a prom partner?’

Hello, this just happened very recently, and I know that what I said was rude, but am I really in the wrong here? So, I (16F) got into an argument with my classmate’s (let’s call him ‘G’ for easier explanation) mom since apparently I was hating on him for not choosing him as my partner for the upcoming prom.

Just a little background: I think it was on Wednesday last week when we finalized the partners for the prom next year because we would begin practicing the dance performance, and since I was not openly saying to everyone that I already had my partner, my boyfriend (17M), the teacher who helped with partnering up the students assumed I was still free and asked me if I was willing to become G’s partner, and I obviously refused because I had one already.

Then, he didn’t say a thing about it, and I assumed that the teacher would probably just ask someone from the lower grade (the girls in our class weren’t enough to pair with all the boys, so we would be taking some girls from the lower level to fill in the spot), and the next day, my adviser just suddenly told me that a parent was looking for me and told me to go to the guidance room, and I did when the event happened with G’s mom.

She saw me and began complaining about how dare I refuse to go to prom with her son when i should be honored to be paired with him and i was just like, “????”, and really confused since it wasn’t like i rudely refused G and even said yesterday (i meant like the day when they were choosing partners)

that i couldn’t since i was with someone and here is the part where i probably end up being rude since i straight up told her that even if i didn’t have a partner, i wouldn’t choose her son and she should take a look at her son before blaming me.

(G was the kind of boy that was egoistic and really noisy, plus, i really didn’t like him since everytime we would be doing dance activities in the past, he would just run away to play with his friends and barely gave any effort to dance, and i couldn’t have that since prom was a graded performance.)

Everyone in the room became silent, and the teacher somewhat scolded me for disrespecting the mom, but soon let me off since she knew that other than my words, I didn’t do anything wrong and just made me apologize, then let me leave since she would be handling the rest. This became really long, but am I the wrong one? . 

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Saffron-Kitty −  NTA. You’ve already got a partner. Info: just my own curiosity, what kind of prom gets graded? I thought it was supposed to be a fun social activity. Edited to add: very creepy that a parent was allowed to speak to an unrelated minor.

Second edit: it would be quite reasonable for your parents to get enraged that the school thought this was ok. I know I am quite angry on your behalf.

WestLondonIsOursFFC −  How come a random parent is able to come into school and speak to a child that isn’t their own – even with supervision? What possible reason would the teachers have to let this happen? Where are your own parents in this? I can’t conceive of any circumstances where this would be allowed to happen. I call b**lshit.

Witty_Detail_2573 −  It’s really disturbing that a parent was allowed to speak to another child. If I were you, I would ask my parent to raise it as an issue with the head teacher and ask for an apology. You are NTA – you can take anyone you want or no one to prom. If he had wanted to actually ask you to prom he had plenty of time.

Clearly he did not and he’s got no right to expect you to come without discussion. Is there any reason reason why the mum is so upset? Any reason why this boy has no social skills? Question – where are you based. No way in the USA or UK prom dance is graded. And you would never be allowed to speak to someone’s child either.

degenerate-titlicker −  Prom is graded? Huh? What do you need to do to get an A in f**king prom?

randyest −  Wait, you were *graded* on prom? Like, based on what specific criteria?

Secure-Score4899 −  NTA. Your teacher has handled things badly from start to finish. Your teacher should never have put you in that position with the mother. You or your parents should kick up m**der with management/administration.

Emotional-Base-5988 −  my adviser just suddenly told me that a parent was looking for me and told me to go to the guidance room, and I did when the event happened with G’s mom. Forget if you’re an a**hole (You’re definitely NTA 🗿) and focus on going home and telling someone about the f**king absolute g**ber of a school staff member that organized a meeting between an angry parent and a student that WAS NOT HER OWN F**KING CHILD.

That’s completely unacceptable and if I were your parent I’d be ready to hand someone their ass over this, they literally set you up to be bullied into submission by a grown woman.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. \ She saw me and began complaining about how dare I refuse to go to prom with her son when i should be honored to be paired with him and i was just like, “????”, OK, now we know that mom is the problem. \ really confused since it wasn’t like i rudely refused G and even said yesterday (i meant like the day when they were choosing partners) that i couldn’t since i was with someone

You already had a partner and voiced this, perfect. \ i straight up told her that even if i didn’t have a partner, i wouldn’t choose her son and she should take a look at her son before blaming me. Her “Golden Son” is going to need to do some growing up, and so is Mom

\ Everyone in the room became silent, and the teacher somewhat scolded me for disrespecting the mom, but soon let me off since she knew that other than my words, I didn’t do anything wrong and just made me apologize, then let me leave since she would be handling the rest. This became really long, but am I the wrong one?  You weren’t rude, you stated facts. G and his mom needed a reality check and you gave them one.

1tired_mommy −  Guys the United States isn’t the only country that uses Reddit. Op please make sure your parents follow up and the teacher gets reprimanded

Rough_Touch_8485 −  Nta where are you from is it a class or a actual prom

Was the Redditor justified in defending their decision, or did they take it too far by making a comment about the classmate’s behavior? How would you have handled an encounter like this? Share your thoughts in the comments!