AITA for telling my brother to stop coming unannounced and changing the locks?
A Redditor shared their frustration about a tense family situation involving their brother, Chris, who overstayed his welcome after living with them for years. Despite their hospitality, Chris ignored boundaries, took shared items without permission, and continued coming to their home unannounced even after moving out. Feeling disrespected, they decided to change the locks and confront the issue. Read the full story below to learn more about their dilemma and how they handled it.
‘ AITA for telling my brother to stop coming unannounced and changing the locks?’
The article has the next update at the end.
My brother, Chris (27M fake name), moved in with my BF (28M) and I (26F) 7 years ago. We took pity on him after he was kicked out of my childhood home for d**g use and was sleeping in his car. At first, chris and my boyfriend got along great. After a few years of living together chris became more reclusive and distant from us both. Chores were not being done around the house and I was getting sick of cleaning up after him and his negative attitude.
Six months prior to the end of our lease I told Chris that he had to find another living situation. He did finally move out a few weeks prior to the end of our lease and i thought we all agreed about splitting up shared appliances and valuables.
One thing we did not discuss was our shared robot mopping device. We acquired this one day at my grandmother’s house a few years ago. She was moving and offered it to all three of us as she would not be using it.
So we brought that little robot home! This thing is nothing fancy, just a small device you fill with cleaning solution and attach disposable mop pads.
Let me be clear, in the 4 years we have had this thing Chris has not ONCE paid for any replacement moping pads. NEVER had even turned the thing on. It was always BF or I splitting the cost of pads and setting this thing up to run nightly so we’d all wake up to clean floors downstairs.
Chris hasn’t returned his key because he’s still slowly moving things out. It’s been over a month now. He always showed up unannounced to our home to gather boxes and his belongings. Sometimes we wouldn’t even realize he was there while we had been out.
Last night BF was looking for our little robot friend as we had just gotten new pads delivered for it. Turns out after going crazy looking for this thing and texting Chris he did take it, claiming “yeah, he is mine”. This was the last straw. We had been so accommodating to this man for years. I just can’t believe Chris had the AUDACITY to take our beloved robotic cleaning friend without a word.
I have let Chris know that we are no longer comfortable with him coming by unannounced and if he needs anything we will look for it ourselves. I also said he can return his key to the office and we will pick it up.
His response? “Stop being weird i dont want any of your trash s**t i already had all my useful grow equipment stolen anyways stop texting me before you make me mad” (The grow stuff referred to here is indoor greenhouse and hydroponics. Which was verbally agreed for an even split of materials since both Chris and BF acquired the equipment together.)
BF ordered a camera that will be here tomorrow, I’ve contacted the leasing office to make them aware of the animosity between us and requested the locks to be changed. I just want to know, am I going to far? This robot is not at all expensive, but it’s more about the principle to me. I feel disrespected. We all have to see eachother next week for Thanksgiving and i know it will be awkward.
Update here: https://aita.pics/TDqTY
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
WielderOfAphorisms − NTA. Your freeloading brother took the final step over the line.
Mundane-Falcon1470 − you took in a d**g user.what did you expect?
DwigtSchruteBeets − Additional Information: We absolutely loved this robot. One of my BF and my favorite pass times was to get stoned and watch this little guy go back and forth cleaning our floors. I almost feel like this was intentionally taken from us to prevent enjoyment and as an intentional inconvenience.
Blueberry-Jam-23 − Chris hasn’t returned his key because he’s still slowly moving things out. It’s been over a month now.. ABSOLUTELY NOT.. NOPE. That alone is unacceptable. Nope nope nope F that guy.
RandomReddit9791 − Your brother’s an a$$hole who seems to have some entitlement and anger management issues. I’d go no contact with him asap.
DryPoetry6 − NTA. Thanksgiving will only be awkward if you CARE. The phrase ‘Shut up and f**k off’ is your friend.
These-Reputation8840 − I was shocked when I read 7 yrs😨 I just can’t fathom how a 27 yr old is mooching off his sister …anyway, NTA he is a punk.
Particular-Try5584 − Change the locks yourself… give several copies of the keys to the leasing office. That way you don’t have to wait. If they don’t like your brand of lock they can replace it with one they do, or you can put their old locks back on when you leave. Then you are in control of the ‘when’ of that (ie NOW).
And yes, tell the REA that you are not authorising him (named, specifically) or anyone else to have keys anymore, and can they please ensure there‘S no misunderstandings given he was a past lease holder.
NinjaHidingintheOpen − I think you know that you and your bf have been doing his chores, subsidising his life, putting up with his antisocial behaviour and dealing with him crossing boundaries like waltzing in and out whenever he pleases with whatever he wants in a home he no longer lives in.
There’s a reason he didn’t look for anywhere else to live and he’ll be asking to move back in as soon as his next flatmates refuse to put up with his lazy entitled behaviour. If he’s the type to break in, I’d pack up everything that could possibly be considered his and drop it off to him. Changing the locks is a good idea too. Then you can use all the extra money you’ll save on utilities to buy another robot.
Apart_Shoulder6089 − NTA but i dont think this is about a moping robot.