Aita for telling my brother he got exactly what he deserved when he pushed his girlfriend away for being a “gold digger”?
A Redditor shares a story about a conflict with her brother after he pushed his girlfriend away due to his fear of being used for his money. He tested her by leaving bank statements out, forcing her to pay for expensive dinners, and withholding gifts. When the girlfriend got tired of these “tests” and broke up with him, the Redditor told her brother he got what he deserved. Now, he’s upset, and she wonders if she was too harsh. Read the full story below.
‘ Aita for telling my brother he got exactly what he deserved when he pushed his girlfriend away for being a “gold digger”?’
My brother is a very hardworking man and at 27 he is now very wealthy and doing well for himself. He’s been with this girl for six months and throughout the time we have gotten close because we both like hair, makeup, and shopping.
I never knew there was anything wrong with their relationship except when she texted me last week I saying she would love to hang out but thinks it’ll be inappropriate because her and my brother broke up. I asked her why and she said she was sick and tired of “auditioning” to prove she was with him for the right reasons.
She went on to say that my brother is paranoid she’s after his money so he would test her like 1. Leaving out his bank statements on their bed and getting upset when she picked it up 2. Going out to eat at high end restaurants he requested and leaving his wallet on home at purpose to make her pay the bill and prove she’s not going out with him for money 3.
Never buying her gifts and questioning her when she asks why he doesn’t. I was shocked so I had to hear my brothers perspective. We spoke and he told me everything she said was true and that there’s nothing wrong with making sure his girlfriend is with him for the right reasons.
He said he left his bank statements on the bed and was peeking through the door to see if she would be curious and when he saw her pick up the papers he knew in his gut she was using him for his money, so he set up the restaurant idea to see if she would get upset at paying a 500$ bill which she was.
I asked him if he thinks her being an elementary school teacher could’ve contributed to her being upset at a 500$ bill at a restaurant he wanted to go to and he said no.
He said the straw that broke was when she asked him why he hasn’t bought her a single gift since they’ve started dating when she bought him a gaming console and new rims for his car and he knew she was just discretely asking him to buy her an expensive gift.
He confronted her and said he thinks she’s with him for his money so she said let me do us both a favor and dumped him and blocked him. He’s upset about the “gold digging b**ch” and when I laughed he called me an a**hole.
He said I would never understand what’s it’s like being a rich man and being used and I get that concern, but I told him if he thinks any woman will be okay with his tests and auditions he’s delusional as hell.
If he doesn’t want to be used for his money he should start dating people as wealthy as him or leave lower income people alone if he’s not going to be genuine in his relationships unless they pass his “test”.
Lets dive into the reactions from Reddit:
Veritas_man − NTA. Sounds like you told your brother the truth. He sounds immature and testing a partner never turns out well.
Comrad1984 − Only a**hole here is the brother. Also — where does she teach that she can afford game consoles, rims, and $500 dinners?? Clearly she’s really responsible with her money, something you’d think the brother would appreciate… If he weren’t such a shallow asshat.
KyonaAidoneus − NTA, it kinda sounds like HE’S a gold digger tbh. “Testing her” would be taking her out to eat and getting separate tabs, not making her pay for everything. And leaving his bank statements on the bed and getting pissy that she looks? HELLO; EVERYONE LOOKS AT PAPERS JUST LEFT ON THEIR BED. Heck, all of her reactions are NORMAL and he’s just acting like a b**t.
yourlittlebirdie − NTA. He sounds awful. I can’t imagine why any woman would want to be with him with that terrible personality. “I’m going to treat women I date like garbage, and if they break up with me, I’ll know it was because they only wanted my money.” What?
Evil_Mel − Your brothers tests are flawed.
1. Leaving out his bank statements on their bed and getting upset when she picked it up. Papers on the bed, hmmm, let me glance at them to see if it’s relevant to me & if not, put them out of the way.
2. Going out to eat at high end restaurants he requested and leaving his wallet on home at purpose to make her pay the bill and prove she’s not going out with him for money. If he wanted her to buy dinner, go somewhere she can afford. No teacher I know would pay $500 for a dinner. That was his biggest a**hole move.. Edit – wasn’t done. Ugh
3. Never buying her gifts and questioning her when she asks why he doesn’t. she bought him a gaming console and new rims for his car Your brother is a massive a**hole. The items she got him as gifts are not cheap, so I don’t know where he gets off saying she is a gold-digger, if anything sounds like he is.. NTA
ladyk1487 − I could be a millionaire and I’d still be pissed if I had to pay $500 for dinner. He’s s very delusional for thinking people would be okay with those test. I feel like nothing she could’ve done would’ve stopped his thoughts of her. NTA
HellblazerHawk − NTA. I sort of get the desire to see if she was just using him, but his way about doing so would p**s off anyone. Like not even getting her flowers or something in 6 months?
J0sey_W4les_23 − NTA – Something tells me that if your brother is driving a car with rims, he’s not as rich as he thinks he is. Regardless, dude has a terrible relationship with the money he does have and apparently a pretty low opinion of himself and what he has to offer. It’d be sad if he wasn’t such an a**hole.
[Reddit User] − Money doesn’t buy class. NTA
Speedywins − NTA. She isn’t a gold digger she’s a nice person. Your brother needs to go to therapy for his paranoia
Do you think the Redditor was right to call out her brother’s behavior, or should she have been more understanding of his concerns about being used? How would you feel if someone tested you in a relationship like this? Share your thoughts below!
