AITA for telling my boyfriend that I don’t know if I can afford a good Christmas present for him?

A young woman, who recently quit her job for college, discusses Christmas gift budgets with her boyfriend, who has been financially supporting her. When he asks about his gift budget, she estimates it to be around $50, which disappoints him.

She suggests a sentimental handmade gift, but he dismisses the idea. She feels bad about the financial imbalance but is prioritizing her studies over work at the moment. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for telling my boyfriend that I don’t know if I can afford a good Christmas present for him?’

My boyfriend (18M) and I (18F) have been together for 5 months, but have been friends since 7th grade. Me and my boyfriend have both been working since we were sophomores, and as of senior year he worked a good paying job (around $800-1k a week) and I worked a $9/hr + tips job.

Recently I quit my job due to college and the long commute, but my boyfriend is still working. Since the beginning of senior year my boyfriend has paid for my food, and we went on an expensive summer trip for my birthday fully paid by him.

Whenever I could I would pay for some of his things, but my paychecks would frequently be less than $300 biweekly so it would be difficult sometimes. A couple days ago he asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I asked what my budget was to come up with an appropriate gift.

He said I had around a $200-$300 budget and I told him what I wanted. He then asked what his budget was and I said “Maybe around $50 seeing as though I don’t have a job”. He got a little disappointed and asked if the budget could be $100, but I explained that I am trying to prioritize school currently, and I don’t see myself getting a job until next semester when I get a car.

I then stated that I wouldn’t just get him a $50 gift, I would get him a handmade sentimental gift like a couple’s scrapbook. After I mentioned the sentimental gift he said “why would i want that?” and I was a little disappointed. I wish I could afford a good enough gift for him, but that’s difficult with a job.

He’s been bringing up how much money he’s spent on me lately and it makes me feel bad because I never asked him to do so. Even with a $50 I would have to save money from now until Christmas, and I don’t even know if he would fully enjoy the gift. So AITA for telling my boyfriend I don’t think I can afford a good enough gift for him.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

pickadillyprincess −  YTA I think if you weren’t prepared to be able to spend anywhere near $200-$300 you should not have asked for a budget but instead just named a gift that is within your price range. Incredibly tacky to ask for a budget for a gift imo.

dncrmom −  YTA when discussing budgets & he told you $200-300 you should have immediately said that is too much & you can only afford a $50 gift. Your gifting budget needs to be equal. Not you picking out something very nice then telling him too bad sucker, you only get something for 20% of what you are spending on me.

Rosietheriveter15 −  You are NTA for being honest about what you can afford- but it was an a**hole move when the topic came up to not immediately jump in & say ‘before we say anything else- I don’t have a lot of money for gifts this year & can’t get myself into a hole.

Let’s do things a little different &….’ & then come up with ideas- everything from under $50, or homemade or instead of gifts let’s go see Trans Siberian Orchestra or a date night…’ When you asked for a range & he said $200-$300 & you knew that’s out of your budget but told him what you wanted- that falls into a**hole territory…

CrabbiestAsp −  YTA. Instead of saying.. Hey, I can only afford $50-100 for your gift, can we set that as our budgets for each other. You asked what yours would be knowing it would obviously be alot more than you could reciprocate. It sounds/seems greedy. There are plenty of cheaper, thoughtful gifts you can get if you know what his interests are.

Lopsided_Tomatillo27 −  YTA. When he asked what you wanted for Christmas, you should’ve explained your financial situation. Instead you asked for something nice and then told him you were broke. Then you went on to explain that getting him a nice gift just wasn’t much of a priority for you; that you’re not even going to try.

Even a busy college student can come up with $100 between now and Christmas. Now he’s starting to feel used; that he’s not a priority in your life. That’s why he’s bringing up the money he spends on you. He feels unappreciated.

PumpkinPowerful3292 −  NTA – If you can’t afford more than $50 gift, you can’t afford it. What I would do is tell you BF that you both cap the cost of your exchanged gifts to $50. So he can get a break spending so much and you can feel less guilty. Easy-peesie.

asianingermany −  YTA if you knew you could only afford $50 for his Christmas gift, when he asked you what you wanted you should’ve stayed within that range as well. It’s wild that you let him splurge $300 when you know you can’t reciprocate.

OhmsWay-71 −  NTA. Ask him to reduce his budget to match yours so that you both have to put more thought into it.

everellie −  You’re overspending for 18 year olds at $200 for a gift. $50 is a stretch if you’re not working. I did the same thing at 18, though. Sounds like gifts might be his love language, though. In a long-term relationship, you have to be able to talk frankly about money. NTA, but perhaps not expecting something unfairly lavish from him would be wise.

ratchetology −  NTA. oh hell no..at 18? we are in our 60s and dont spend that much

Is she in the wrong for expressing her financial limitations, or is it reasonable given her current situation? What do you think? Share your thoughts below!