AITA for telling my boyfriend it’s weird he uses his hazards while breaking in traffic?
A Reddit user (F25) recently finished a long cross-country road trip with her boyfriend (M28) and noticed he uses his hazard lights while braking in traffic. She finds this behavior unusual and worries it could confuse other drivers.
When she brought it up, her boyfriend became frustrated, accusing her of nitpicking his driving. She wonders if her concerns are valid or if she’s overreacting. Is she wrong for questioning his driving habits? Read the original story below for more details.
‘ AITA for telling my boyfriend it’s weird he uses his hazards while breaking in traffic?’
My boyfriend (28m) and I (25f) have just wrapped up a very long cross-country road trip. While traveling, we naturally encountered traffic jams and during some of the more abrupt stops, he put on the hazard lights of the car whilst braking.
I brought it up that I find it kinda weird that he does this, and maybe it isn’t necessary. I guess beyond the fact that I’ve never heard of someone else doing this, I worry about other drivers around us. I told him what if the person behind you takes it the wrong way…but that’s probably me over analyzing. Idk it seems like a bit of overkill?
He got frustrated with me for being a backseat driver and asked me to stop nitpicking (paraphrasing) his driving. I get that, I guess I just still think it’s weird! So, AITA? Do people think this is normal?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
ExquisiteGerbil − YTA. I drive professionally and see this all the time and do it myself when the situation calls for it. It is not weird at all and very much appreciated at times. It tells the car behind that you’re not just breaking to adjust your speed a bit, but that something unusual is going on.
If the sight line is a bit blocked because you’re coming around a curve or there’s some larger vehicle in front or something it can be hard to immediately tell that there’s a stop or build up of traffic coming up, but if the hazards come on you know to right away drop the accelerator and start breaking yourself.
Once another vehicle is behind you at the lower speed you can drop the hazards. He’s right: you’re being a backseat driver and nitpicking when he’s doing right.
Hdot573 − YTA I’m from the US but learned to do this when I was in the military while living in several other countries where traffic incidents are considerably less common.
It lets other drivers know traffic is stopping abruptly. Especially with all the idiots out there not paying attention, it’s super useful. I’m wondering if maybe he’s traveled a little more than you and has had more experience with that sort of thing?
Hazard lights are for *hazards* like abruptly stopping traffic. Maybe try to keep an open mind and learn a little instead of just digging in your heels and doing a “well I don’t do it so it’s weird”. That mindset is super weird to me tbh.
Apart-One4133 − YTA, its customary to do so. That’s how people behind you know there is a complete stop (or close to) in front. Every trucker does that. Anyone who spends a considerable time driving knows that.
He doesnt need to do it but its nice for the people behind and there’s no reasons to berate him about it. If you dont want to do it, don’t.
Edit : Im from Canada tho, just saw you’re clarification you’re from the U,S
FriendlyLine9530 − It’s been a lot of years since I read the driver’s manual for my state but I’m pretty sure it explicitly mentions using hazards when you are traveling considerably slower than the traffic around you should reasonably expect for that stretch of roadway.
For example if the speed limit is 65, and you are traveling at 45, either because that’s all the faster you can go or traffic (like a tractor) is going that slow.
Having the hazards flashing when you are going slower than the expected speeds, when there isn’t an expectation of vehicles slowing down (like on a long open stretch of highway with no side roads) will (should) alert drivers behind you that you ARE in fact a hazard to the people behind you, if they don’t take action ( likeslowing down or changing lanes, if possible).
eatthecheesefries − YTA. If you’re in a situation where you’re cruising along at 70mph and you have to come to a sudden stop (like in the middle of the highway, not at a light!) then yes you should throw on your hazards.
You may have been attentive enough to come to a quick stop, but who is to say the a**hole behind you is paying attention? You’re making others aware of a hazard ahead and isn’t that literally why they’re called hazard lights?
First_Play5335 − This comment section is insane. According to the highway code, you should mainly use hazard lights when your vehicle is stationary on the road and a potential hazard to other road users. This can occur if your vehicle has broken down, if you’ve had to stop because of another obstruction ahead or if you’ve pulled over for another emergency reason.
evhanne − I’ve never seen anyone do this in my life but apparently its a very divisive concept! NAH.
minrenken − NAH. I’ve been driving for over 30 years on the west coast and the east coast. If there’s a condition not apparent to other drivers, then of course hazards should be on, but I was not taught to put on hazards in a traffic jam and to my knowledge I’ve not seen anyone do this. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with doing it, but I don’t understand those calling OP an AH for mentioning it to her bf.
piranha4D − Soft YTA because you’re in the US, and it actually depends on the state. It’s normal in a lot of places. I do this myself; my US/NJ driver’s ed handbook said so (and I learned it as well outside the US).
It’s not *necessary*, and in some states you’re not allowed to use hazards at all while moving, but in general it gives an additional indicator to people following that there’s something more going on than just a random slowdown. I like seeing people do it, and don’t find it confusing, but I guess some folks might be confused. Context matters, people.
So if you were informed and knew you were in a state where it isn’t allowed, you’d have a point for your backseat driving. But since you just thought it “weird” without knowing anything about it, you might’ve just kept quiet (backseat driving can be really annoying).
I went and looked it up (not sure if 100% correct since the site wasn’t dated, so look it up for your state):
# States where you can use your hazard lights while driving unless otherwise noted.
Alabama, Connecticut, Georgia, Kentucky, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, Texas, Utah, Vermont, and Wyoming.
# States where you may not use your hazard lights while driving except in an emergency or in other specific instances (often those instances include approaching / passing a hazard).
Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Delaware, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, Montana, Ohio, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Tennessee, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.
# States where you may not use your hazard lights while driving at all.
Alaska, Florida, Hawaii, Illinois, Kansas, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Nevada, New Mexico, and Rhode Island.
IIRC, in IL you could use hazards if you are in a funeral procession; don’t know whether that has changed.
duncandun − I’ve never been more gaslit by a r/AITA comment section than this one