AITA for telling my BIL I wouldn’t invite his kids over anytime soon?
A Redditor took to the AmItheA**hole subreddit to share how her brother-in-law’s kids turned a family dinner party into chaos. The children spilled food, broke glasses, and even smeared an orange on her Persian carpet—all while their parents stood by, calling it “normal behavior.”
When the OP made it clear that she wouldn’t invite the kids over anytime soon, tensions rose, with the brother-in-law accusing her of being entitled and a poor host.
‘ AITA for telling my BIL I wouldn’t invite his kids over anytime soon?’
My wife (26F) and I (27F) moved to a new house. We thought we’d throw a dinner party and invite both sides of our families. We used to live in a different state for 5 years and now is our opportunity to catch up with our loved ones.
My BIL has two kids (Daniel – 5M and Rosie 3F). These kids were absolutely horrible during the entire dinner and their parents did not say a single word or even try to control them. Just to name a few examples:
They moved pillows from sofas and chairs, spilled drinks and food on different surfaces, threw an orange on my Persian carpet, sat on it, made it explode and spread the orange on the carpet with their hands, broke two glasses, and overall ran around, shouting and screaming.
I was the youngest in the family, and I didn’t see kids much in my entire life. But this was horrifying to me and I was so pissed at my BIL and his wife for just watching their kids do these things and not saying anything.
I told my wife to talk to her brother. She was as pissed as I was. However she said she already talked to him but he said they were just kids and that’s how kids grow up. He also said he wanted them to have a strong sense of self confidence.
While we were all saying goodbye, BIL told his kids now that your aunties live nearby we’ll come visit often. I said no I don’t think that’s going to happen very soon. BIL was confused and asked why. I said because we actually love the peace and comfort in our home and these guys are a little cute tsunami.
This made both BIL and his wife angry. He called me an e**titled b**at, and told my wife she was a horrible host. My friends think I was too rough. So I thought I’d ask. Aita?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
NTA these guys are a little cute tsunami.That is hands down the nicest way of saying “your kids are a handful and I don’t want them in my house” that I’ve ever heard. I’m stealing that
NTA .He called me an e**titled b**at, If you’re an e**titled b**at, what are his kids?? You were right to nip this in the bud. You barely know the kids, so no emotional bond there. If they want their kids to be invited to stuff, then they should teach them to behave.
NTA. And as a parent, please know this is neither normal parent nor child behavior and I hope this doesn’t sour you towards responsible families with children.
we actually love the peace and comfort in our home and these guys are a little cute tsunami. This is a really kind and lovely way to put it. It’s baffling to me that they reacted so badly to that. He called me an e**titled b**at .lol, well.
NTA. That is not “how kids grow up.” Destruction of property means negligent parenting. Keep the destruction to public parks away from others. Even a “family friendly” restaurant doesn’t accept that treatment.
NTA but its weird for your BIL to confuse you with an e**titled b**at, considering he’s got two of his own.
Send them the cleaning bill. Let them know the next time they come back a new bill may be given.
INFO, because i just can’t believe this. threw an orange on my Persian carpet, sat on it, made it explode and spread the orange on the carpet with their hands
how did not even one adult out of the four in the house, intervene during any of these steps? or when they were running around screaming and breaking things?
NTA strong sense of self confidence = entitlement. Children need boundaries and positive support, letting them run wild is not good for their academic life nor career.
NTA! I would be MORTIFIED if my kids did this at my sibling’s place. Calling you a b**at, that’s rich coming from BIL. At 3 and 5, they would be capable of basic manners and social graces. My 4 year old apologises for spills and cleans up the messes she makes, without asking.
If she ran around screaming, all I had to do was stare at her and she’d have gotten the hint to tone down. Your BIL and wife are absolutely doing zero parenting.
What do you think? Was OP justified in setting these boundaries, or did she go too far?