AITA for telling my bf I would never give him a kid because he don’t take care of his own?
A Reddit user found herself in a heated discussion with her boyfriend about having kids after experiencing a miscarriage. When she expressed concern over his lack of involvement with his four children from previous relationships, the conversation took a turn, leading her to assert that she would never have a child with him. This comment sparked anger and conflict. Read the full story below to see how things unfolded…
‘ AITA for telling my bf I would never give him a kid because he don’t take care of his own?’
I21f have been dating my bf29 for almost 4 months. I recently got pregnant (I didn’t even know I was pregnant until I miscarried) which brought us up in the topic about when would I wanna start having kids(hypothetical he claims). You see, my boyfriend has 4 kids from 3 different baby mamas. The oldest being 8 and the youngest being 2.
He is always late, or short on child support, and barely sees his kids. He only sees two of child children that live with around here, only every few months. Those are the only two I have met, and he’s only seen them twice while we’ve been together. The other 3 he hasn’t seen in almost a year.
I told him first to worry about the 4 kids he already has, before thinking of that, jokingly. He got all serious and is like what do you mean and saying how I’m different and I would help him stay around. I got a little annoyed by this comment, and straight up said, I would never give him a kid because he don’t take care of his own.
He got really angry about this and said how dare I say that to him, and that I have no kids so I don’t understand, and how I’m not suppose to judge him. He left my house, and hasn’t returned my calls. I honestly feel like a dodged a bullet. Aita?
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
doowopdear − NTA You need to d**p this dead beat dad immediately. I’m pretty sure that he’s told all his ex’s that they are different and that he would stay for them.
anotherworthlessman − NTA. Serious question, Why are you with this man? 4 kids, 3 baby mamas and he isn’t around for any of them, and he recently got you pregnant? You don’t see a pattern here? Do you want to be baby mama 4 that he leaves with a kid to raise on their own and who you have to spend the next 18 years chasing for child support.
He’s not different and he won’t stick around for you. I promise you that. Men like this never do. Don’t worry about not giving him a kid, I’d probably stop giving him s**……..or you know, a kid will “happen” when he “forgets to pull out” and you’ll be baby mamma 4. Find a man without this baggage. You are a 21 year old smart girl.
You know there are loving men with great jobs who are commitment oriented and without 3 baby mamas that can give you a life that this man can only dream of giving you. Or you can keep having s** with, and eventually get pregnant by this deadbeat. You have a choice to make….choose wisely.
AdelaQuested24 − NTA. You did dodge a bullet. He has shown you what kind of father he is and you wisely have opted not to have children with him.
party_faust − NTA, but those are quite a few red flags. y’sure y’really want to stay with this guy?
Green_Seat8152 − NTA but why would you be with someone who treats his own children so badly? That would be a deal breaker for most people.
lizzyote − and I would help him stay around. And if he chooses to run off, he can claim its your fault since you didn’t help him stay around.
Typical_Agency8984 − Esh- He needs a vasectomy with all the kids he has. As for you, why are you with him? You almost became baby mama #4 knowing he’s a dead beat. You can do way better.
Still_Storm7432 − Yta to yourself for standing in line to be his next baby mama SMH..find your self respect and know your worth, you’re better than this…I hope
CakeZealousideal1820 − YTA for dating a deadbeat to begin with but don’t ever have kids with him
[Reddit User] − Ur 21 dating a dead beat 30 year old multiple time father lmfao you definitely can’t pick men and the fact you haven’t left him yet proves this
Do you think the Redditor was justified in expressing her concerns about her boyfriend’s parenting before considering having kids with him, or did she go too far in her comment? How would you approach a similar situation if you were in her position? Share your thoughts below!