AITA for telling an Asian man that his area is probably not big enough for me to enjoy anyway after he stated that I’m not a beauty standard? ?

A Latina woman shares her experience at a mall where an Asian man insulted her looks, stating she didn’t fit his beauty standard. In retaliation, she made a comment about his physical size. After the incident, her friend told her that her response was immature and stereotyping, leaving her feeling conflicted. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for telling an Asian man that his area is probably not big enough for me to enjoy anyway after he stated that I’m not a beauty standard? ?’

I(27f) am a Latina woman with brown skin complexion and an average size body. This happened yesterday. I was at the mall with two of my friends, both white and girls. We were shopping at Macy’s when two Asian guys walked up to us and started flirting directly with my friends. One of friends who we can call Kate is in a relationship.

My second friend who we’ll call Emily and I are the only single ones. The guys proceeded to ask Kate and Emily to hangout sometimes and even asked to exchange numbers. Kate informed both guys that she was already taken and told them that I’m single and free to mingle.

The guy who apparently called dibs on Kate gave me an awkward look and said “Yeeeea I don’t think that would work out”. Curious I asked what he meant by that. What he said next didn’t shock me. He told me that he’s looking for someone who would fit the beauty standard and would be good enough to maybe be introduced to his parents.

I chuckled and said “Well that’s okay. I’m sure your buddy down there isn’t big enough for me anyway”. I pointed at his private area. The two Asian guys and my friends were all stunned by my response. I told the girls to meet me in the footwear area when they were done with the guys and walked off.

Later as we were driving home Kate told me that my response was sort of immature and stereotyping and not all Asian guys have small areas. I told her that I was going to just stand there and allow the p**ck to insult me. She said that I can’t expect every guy to find me beautiful and attractive.

I told her that they don’t have to find me beautiful but to stand there and insult me and make rude comments like that is something I will never stand for. The rest of the ride home was quiet.. Was I wrong?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

TheImmovablePoop −  Why is your friend defending a random man instead of you?? Get new friends

Glamonster −  NTA he shouldn’t dish it if he can’t take it.

lulufencer −  NTA and drop your pick me ass friends

Sneezy_weezel −  NTA, and I say this as a Latina who dates Asian men. The Asian men I date appreciate lovely Latina women. You need new friends too. Women that’ll have your back.

KarayanLucine −  You have self respect. Thats good! Sadly taking up for yourself is seen as a bad thing nowadays. Unless it happened to them of course. You obviously know this, but never just stand there to be insulted. Life is a multi-player game. Play to win.. NTA

littlemochi123 −  NTA – say insulting things get an insulting response. Everyone is aware that stereotypes are stupid and not true. He could’ve worded it differently if he didn’t think you are his type perhaps by saying just that “sorry you’re fine/pretty but not my type” and move on or just say “sorry I was more interested in Kate”.

What does it mean “good enough to be introduced to his parents”? What is not good enough? Just because you’re not what, white? Asian? Like what is the condition seeing as he doesn’t know anything about you except how you look.

ModeratelyAverage6 −  Kate… isn’t a friend. She wouldn’t defend a stanger who insulted you if she was. Nta. Don’t dish it if you can’t take it.

onlyif4anife −  Your response was immature but it’s totally cool for the men to say “Mommy won’t like you”? Because that’s SUPER mature. NTA. Don’t start s**t if you can’t handle someone else finishing it.

razberry_lemonade −  ESH. Kate is the biggest AH, first for offering you up as a consolation prize (since that’s obviously not how interest/attraction works) which kicked off the entire awkward exchange; and second for defending his racism while admonishing yours.

He sucks for the beauty standard comment. Again, it was inappropriate for Kate to try to pawn him off on you when there was no indication you two were a match, but alluding specifically to you not meeting “beauty standards” instead of just saying “but you’re the one I’m interested in” to Kate was definitely AHish.

Last, you had every reason to take offense at his comment, but two wrongs don’t make a right. You’d have been better off just telling him to go f**k himself rather than trying to fight racism with more racism.

FemalePheromones −  NTA and anyone saying otherwise is wrong.

Do you think the woman’s response was justified, or did she go too far in making a stereotype about the man? How would you have handled the situation if you were in her shoes? Share your thoughts below!