AITA for telling an american guy that he should stop calling himself german?

A Reddit user shares an experience from a trip in Spain, where an American traveler kept insisting he was “German” despite only having distant German ancestry. Frustrated by his repeated claims and lack of actual cultural knowledge, the user eventually told him to stop calling himself German, which upset him. Now, the user wonders if they were too harsh in challenging his identity. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for telling an american guy that he should stop calling himself german?’

I’m German and I was traveling last weekend through Spain. I stayed at a hostel at a mixed room and some of the roommates where american. At night we were all mingling and talking about each other and one of the american guys, upon hearing I was German, told me “ohh a fellow German!”. At this point I wasn’t actually sure if he was american, so I asked in German if he was german.

He mumbled a bit and said “haha sorry I’m German but I actually don’t speak the language, only a few sentences” But he kept bringing up about how being german shaped his life, how important german culture was, like he apparently celebrates Oktoberfest every year and so.

I asked why did he say he was german if he was actually american, he said that it was because his great grandfather was german and his grandmother was german-irish…okay, whatever that means, I asked him if he knew where his great grandad was from and surprisingly he did, Hamburg!

But this was extra hilarious because then it makes no sense for the guy to celebrate Oktoberfest, as that’s a Bavarian thing (ja ja nowadays you can find Oktoberfest in any major german city but its not tradition, only commercial)

I still didn’t say anything and we just kept talking. The guy kept making all these remarks about “German culture” and “German food” like “hot dog with Sauerkraut” (???). Me and my friends were then planning to go look for a place to drink and he asked to come with us “so the germans should stick together”.

We had a few beers at a bar and he ONCE AGAIN brought up something about “being german” and saying he was gonna get the german flag tattoed in Germany, by this point I was already a bit tipsy and annoyed and I told him “can you please stop saying that? You’re not german my friend, you’re american of german descent, you don’t even know about german culture or food, or how to speak, you’re really annoying me”

The guy looked pretty angry/annoyed and kind of scoffed and tried to jokingly say “you’re right, I rather be american, at least then I can say I didn’t lose a world war”. At that point me and my friends were rolling our eyes so hard that we just moved to a different place.

Later some other guy not related to us told me that the guy was pretty annoyed/sad that I told him he wasn’t german because apparently that was a big part of his identity. Now IDK was I the a**hole for not letting him live in his delusion?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

[Reddit User] −  NTA. I’ve noticed a lot of Americans just point blank refuse to accept they are American and simply having ancestors from somewhere in Europe doesn’t make them German, Irish, Italian, Scottish etc. I’m likely going to get downvotes but the amount of American’s I’ve met who have told me that they are also Scottish (I’m Scottish) or Irish (I live in Northern Ireland) is genuinely shocking.

They aren’t either. They had ancestors who were but they would have no claim to citizenship, no passport etc. Unfortunately? The people who say these types of things generally don’t realise what they are saying and how they are being disrespectful.

Fit-Wrongdoer333 −  NTA Americans need a reality check on this topic. No, you’re not Irish, or German, or whatever other nationality your ancestors came from. Why not just be proud of being a whole new thing, bred of people who took chances and built lives from scratch on a new continent?

Cinnamoroll_Girl_ −  NTA. I’m Italian, born and living in Italy and boy, i lost track of how many Americans i have had to give that speech too in multiple gaming groups. Like fr everytime i join one and it comes up i’m Italian there’s always one that gets up doing exactly that kind of things that dude did on your trip. Idk why they do it, i can’t understand, but it’s annoying afaik.

Electrohydra1 −  NTA – People from North America have a different definition of “being X”, with many of them identifying with the culture of their parents/grandparents even if themselves have never stepped foot in that country. This is fairly normal here and just a different way of speaking and viewing culture.

With that said, the guy should still have been able to realize this, and understand that he “is german” not in the same way you are. He sounds like he was quite obnoxious about it so I feel like you were in your right to correct him.

BowlComprehensive907 −  NTA. Americans say “I’m German/Italian/Irish” or whatever *in America* to establish a kind of cultural heritage. Outside of the US, though, to say “I’m German” usually means that it’s your nationality. Fine, he didn’t know that you start with, but he should have picked it up and refusing to learn even when it’s spelled out makes him TA.

[Reddit User] −  NTA at all. Americans can be so annoying with their “I’m 1% irish/german/whatever”. No one cares, you’re American. Period. Stop trying to pretend to be something other than what you are. You lasted longer than I would have. I’m not German but apparently, I can speak better german than this wanna-be.

AetaCapella −  This may be a bit against the grain, but I’m gonna say NAH. It’s really just a cultural misunderstanding. It’s funny how European cultures tend to gatekeep their culture rather than share it. I’m of Japanese/Mexican (which in and of itself is Hispanic/indigenous) decent and whenever I meet someone from Japan or someone from Mexico their response is “oh, lets do some shots and I will teach you about your heritage”

But VERY often when I hear stories about an American of Euro decent encountering someone from their ancestral home they’ll gatekeep and say “you aren’t a real German” or whatever. Not sure why there is a difference in approach but it seems strange to me that you wouldn’t want to share your culture with someone who seems more than willing to participate.

Maybe Guide instead of Gatekeep would be a good motto here? It seems like he was trying to make friends and he latched on to the shared heritage a bit stronger than he should have, but I think his heart was in the right place. You then took the opportunity to s**t on his family traditions (because they are family traditions at that point, not necessarily heritage/cultural traditions)

Amareldys −  NAH .He was trying to be friendly and bond and find a connection to you. Sadly he did it in an annoying way. He is annoying… but not an a**hole.

PeggyNoNotThatOne −  NTA. This is something that really annoys a lot of non-American people. Dyeing beer bright green and saying ‘Begorrah! Top o’the morning to you!’ on the the 17th of March does not make someone Irish any more than someone with a couple of German ancestors way back and drinking beer in September makes you German.

On the other hand Americans tend to be friendly and try and make connections wherever they go but often manage to stomp all over any cultural sensitivities and are genuinely hurt that people resent Disneyfication.

KronkLaSworda −  NTA. American here. It’s more common than it should be for Americans, even 4+ generations born in the USA, with a lot of ancestors from a particular country to say they’re Irish, German, French, etc instead of saying they are of \_\_\_\_ descent. Among the more particularly annoying are 10% or less Irish on St. Patrick’s day that get absolutely hammered at the bar or parade.

Was the user too harsh in correcting the American traveler, or was it fair to point out the difference between ancestry and nationality? How do you view cultural identity in such situations? Share your thoughts in the comments!