AITA for telling a stranger to “learn some manners?”

A 19-year-old shopping at a busy Sephora had an uncomfortable encounter with another shopper who repeatedly invaded her personal space without saying “excuse me.” After politely asking for personal space, the stranger mocked her and continued the behavior, prompting her to comment, “Maybe learn some manners.” Now, she wonders if she overreacted or failed to consider potential cultural differences, especially as someone who is not American herself. Was she wrong for speaking up?

‘ AITA for telling a stranger to “learn some manners?”‘

Today I (19F) went to Sephora to shop for Christmas gifts. This is a pretty large Sephora in a major American city, so it was quite crowded in there. I was swatching some blushes to pick one out for my sister, and I was standing up close to the shelf so there would be lots of room for others to walk by. Suddenly, I felt someone standing really close behind me (literally touching me) and reaching right in front of my face to grab one of the products.

I’m Australian (but my family moved to the U.S. a few years ago), so I consider it really rude when people invade my personal space. The girl (around my age or a bit older) did not say excuse me or anything, so I turned around and gave her a look, thinking she would get the hint and move. She gave me a n**ty look back and took a step away, so I figured that was that.

A minute later, she did the exact same thing, and again got up so close to me that her stomach was literally touching my b**t. This made me uncomfortable, so I said, “Excuse me, personal space!” in what I would consider a polite tone. She told me to “calm down” in a rude tone (I was calm lol), and started mocking me in a bad British accent to her friend and saying something in another language. I said, “I can hear you mocking me…maybe learn some manners? Just say excuse me next time!”

This seemed to p**s her and her mate off further and they continued to mock me (which was kind of funny because I’m not even British…) so I decided to walk away. I told my mom about it and she said I could have been nicer, so I decided to post here and see what other people thought. I definitely could have just moved over for her and not engaged, especially because I was blocking some stuff on the shelf.

However, I was annoyed she didn’t even say “excuse me,” and she was standing so close to me it made me physically uncomfortable. I also was not sure if she was from a different country (they were speaking both English and another language), so maybe she was a tourist and it could have been a cultural difference? Like I said, I am not American myself, so I recognize that people have different ideas of personal space, etc. in other places. I don’t know, what do you all think? Am I the a**hole?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

holden4ever −  NTA. As a fellow Aussie with no tolerance for rude people she’s lucky it wasn’t me she was doing it to because I only ask nicely once. After that you cop both barrels and there’s a 100% chance that C word is getting used. She got off lightly.

Loquacious555 −  I can’t speak for other Americans, but personal space is HUGE to me. My personal bubble is quite large and I don’t like creepers creeping in on me. NTA.

Apart-Ad-6518 −  NTA. Suddenly, I felt someone standing really close behind me (literally *touching* me) and reaching right in front of my face to grab one of the products. That’s total A H behavior imo. It’s totally invading your space. As you said, a simple “can you excuse me please” so she could get to the shelf would’ve avoided the whole thing. Sounds like she was being deliberately antagonistic to pick an argument. No worries re calling her out on being an ill mannered A H.

SamSovern −  NTA: American here and leaning in so close that you are touching the other person is not okay. If she needed something in front of you she could have just said excuse me and I am sure you would have given her the space to get her item.

Spiritual-Quail-8763 −  I’m not American but I’ve noticed ppl in Sephora have really bad issues with respecting personal space. I had a similar issue waiting in line. NOR.

glitterymayhem −  NTA. Sounds like she does need to learn some manners. Even if you were inadvertently blocking her access, a polite person would just say excuse me and it wouldn’t have happened twice. Her reaction shows a lack of self awareness and basic class. I am American and I would have been pissed as well. This isn’t cultural, she is just rude.

StAlvis −  INFO. I was standing up close to the shelf. So, like, blocking access to the stuff on it?

zukella1 −  NTA. She should have said excuse me and not touched you at all, that’s super weird.

Novel-Vacation-4788 −  NTA. Honestly, I would’ve taken a giant step back into her and made sure to plant my foot with my pointy high heel right onto her foot.

sudabomb −  A good hard shove always works well!