AITA for telling a friend’s bf her intentions of getting pregnant?

A Reddit user shared how they exposed a friend’s manipulative intentions to her boyfriend. The friend, Ashley, was in a long-distance relationship with Chris, who had been clear from the start that he didn’t want children. Despite this, Ashley joked and later admitted she planned to tamper with their birth control to force a pregnancy before Chris could get a vasectomy.

The user confronted Ashley, who dismissed the issue. Concerned for Chris, they shared evidence of Ashley’s behavior, leading Chris to break up with her and kick her out. Ashley now blames the user for her situation.

‘ AITA for telling a friend’s bf her intentions of getting pregnant?’

A couple years ago, a close friend, Ashley, started a long-distance relationship with a guy, Chris. He has been really good to her and after meeting in person a few times, they decided to move in together. I was super happy for her as she had a few bad relationships over the years and it was nice to see her in a healthy one.

That joy faded the last couple months before she moved a few states over to be with him. The issue isn’t her moving, but that she repeatedly joked about having a baby from Chris. At first, I accepted it as jokes, but over time I realized Ashley was serious. For context, Ashley has two children from a previous previous relationship, ages 10 and 12.

Chris absolutely doesn’t want kids. He told her this at the start and anytime she hinted possibly wanting more, he shot it down, saying it was a deal breaker. Now, Chris is more than willing to accept her children as her own, because he loves her and after meeting her kids, them as well.

He’s accepted that they are a package deal with her, and since they are at an age where they are semi-independent, it’s not an issue for him.. ​ To me, Chris is a real bro for taking on her kids without issue. Hearing Ashley say she wants a baby out of him, “one way or another”, bothered me to no end.

It’s hard enough to find a partner that treats you well and accepts children that aren’t their own. To find one that does and then talk about plotting to force a baby seems gross and m**ipulative. Before her move, I had sat down with Ashley, trying to talk sense into her. At first she resisted, but finally it seemed she understood how s**tty it would be.

After I felt like she had understood, I put the issue behind me and helped support her thru the hassle of moving. A few days after she left, I got a call from a mutual friend who delves into the Wiccan/Metaphysical realm. She was distraught and confessed to me that shortly before Ashley’s move, Ashley had come to her asking for a fertility spell.

This friend didn’t feel comfortable about it and refused. When pushed, she said she cast a spell for a healthy and honest relationship, but told Ashley it was for fertility. As you can imagine, I was livid. I messaged Ashley, confronting her about what I learned and she laughed it off as she was desperate, but magic is fake anyway, so what’s the harm?

She then let it slip, that since Chris was planning on getting a vasectomy in a few months, she had poked holes in their condoms as a last ditch effort. At that point, I couldn’t stay silent. I gathered up screenshots of all the conversations over the last few months and sent them to Chris.

He understandably freaked out and kicked her out. Now, Ashley hates me because she was kicked out after a huge move and didn’t have a job or money to make it back. She said I’m a terrible person for putting her and her kids out on the street. Am I the a**hole here? Should I have kept quiet?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Potential_You −  NTA. YOURE 👏 LITERALLY 👏 SAVING 👏 SOMEONE 👏 FROM 👏 BEING 👏 BABY-TRAPPED. 👏 WE 👏 NEED 👏 MORE 👏 PEOPLE 👏 LIKE 👏 YOU 👏
Edit: Thank you so much for the awards and the record-breaking 27000 upvotes! 😀 – 7:30 AM Edit 2: ty for another gold and 34K upvotes – 1:53 PM

International-Aside −  NTA. You didnt get her kicked out, she did with her deceitful and potentially very harmful behavior. This is worse than cheating on someone imo. Can you imagine if it were the other way around and he were the one poking holes in condoms? Ppl would drag him through the mud, and pretty sure its illegal to do in many places.

Choosing to be a parent or not is incredibly personal and should never, ever be a coerced decision. Considering how awful and disrespectful she is to someone she was supposed to be in love with, I dont think you’re losing out on much of a friend here. You’re a hero in my eyes.

FardyMcJiggins −  NTA and I’m guessing her previous bad relationships were partially her fault, she needs professional help

Cochenballs −  NTA. I don’t know in what universe you would think you’re the a**hole- your “friend” is trying to force someone into a lifelong commitment they don’t want by lying and deceit. You absolutely did the right thing, don’t lose any sleep over it and cut this toxic person out of your life immediately.

Lurkingdutchman −  NTA, this sounds like female on male rape(aka forcing/tricking him to penetrate her in a way he didn’t concent to…)

Chewookiee −  NTA. Poking holes in a condom when it’s plain as day that he doesn’t want kids is horrifying. I mean seriously, that sounds psychopathic. 100% bravo on saving that dude. She will always hate you because you interrupted her selfish happiness. Best to let that friendship go man.

anxiousjellybean −  NTA, lying about being on birth control and poking holes in condoms etc. are acts of s**ual a**ault. You absolutely did the right thing by letting him know

[Reddit User] −  NTA. What she was doing/planning on doing is absolutely despicable. This is the consequence of her actions. It’s not like she was planning on getting a plant without his permission. She was actively lying to him and *poking holes in condoms* what is wrong with people?

brownshugababy −  NTA. You actually saved his life from becoming disastrous. He deserved to know the kind of person he was with. They’d have brought a child into a house where it’s dad wouldn’t have wanted them. She’s a horrible and m**ipulative person and she absolutely deserved being kicked out. She deserves to face the consequences of her actions.

SpaceIsTooFarAway −  NTA. If she poked holes in the condoms without telling him that’s rape. You did the right thing.