AITA for talking to my MIL like a kid when she touched my belly?

A pregnant woman and her husband have struggled with boundary issues regarding physical touch from his mother. At her baby shower, the MIL touched her belly without asking, despite repeated requests not to.

The woman responded by condescendingly asking her MIL if she knew how to ask first, embarrassing her in front of others. Later, the FIL requested mutual apologies, but the woman refused, leading him to call her an AH.

‘ AITA for talking to my MIL like a kid when she touched my belly?’

My husband and I are expecting our firs baby (yei!), we’ve have some ups and downs with his parents because they don’t understand boundaries, but overall it’s been really good.

For some context, I (24F) come from an a**sive home and I can’t stand being touched, before getting pregnant this wasn’t a problem with my in-laws, but now that I’m carrying a baby, it’s been awful with my MIL and my SIL because they think they can touch my belly whenever they want to.

Both my husband and I have talked to them, and said that while I would rather they don’t touch me at all, I can understand this is a big thing as a family, so I would simply like being asked instead of just feeling a hand at random times, but they rarely do it, so I just move when they touch me.

Now, onto the subject, a week ago my best friend threw me a baby shower and I invited my in-laws and since I don’t have any blood family left, we let them invite 10 more people which included aunts-cousins and my husband’s grandparents.

It was an overall lovely moment, but at one time, I was sitting eating cake while my MIL talked with my FIL’s sister, and while telling her something about the baby, she put her hand in my belly and idk, I just didn’t like it.

So I took her hand, removed it and said ”No, no, you know I’ve told you not to touch without asking firs. You know how to ask first, do you? It’s easy!” with the most condescending voice I had. Both my MIL and my FIL’s sister looked at me shocked, and then my FIL’s sister laughed but my MIL got red in the face.

When it was done, my MIL approached me and said that what I did wasn’t nice and she just ”slipped” so I didn’t had to treat her like a kid. I just smiled and said that she touching me after being asked a million times not to was a kid behavior and I just called her out on that.

She left, very sad, and when we got home, my FIL called my husband and said he would love for both of us to apologize to each other, but I said no. So he called me an AH.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

[Reddit User] −  NTA. I hate being touched. Everyone thinks being pregnant makes you public property. Stand your ground, enforce your boundaries, and tell her off every time.

Whit3W0lf −  NTA. Sometimes people don’t understand when you ask nicely. My friend grabbed a strangers boob when the stranger touched her belly. The stranger was shocked and my friend said “oh I thought we were grabbing each other’s bodies, my bad!”

puppyfarts99 −  NTA The proper response from your MIL would have been, “I’m so sorry, OP. You’re right. You’ve been very clear about this and I let it slip my mind. I’ll remember to ask permission before touching you in the future. Please forgive me.” There, done and dusted. But instead, she chose to be offended.

mamabear131 −  NTA. I was far more dramatic when I was pregnant. I wore a shirt that said “You can touch my belly if I can punch your face.”

BriefHorror −  “Not touching another person is a thing you do all the time. I won’t come see any of you unless you can manage to do something you do every day and something you’ve done since meeting me.” NTA

BTOB_OT7_Melody −  NTA. I don’t think anyone appreciates being touched without consent, let alone someone with an aversion to being touched in the first place. If someone can’t respect your wishes even after being told so many times, they deserve to be called out.

Also, being asked to apologize because ‘you both were at fault’ is infuriating, especially when you weren’t at fault at all. I say talk it out with MIL since she’s family but you weren’t in the wrong here.

Bitter-Conflict-4089 −  NTA. She has been told multiple times not to touch you without permission. You were nicer than most people would have been. Since the asking part is too difficult for her. I would just completely ban touching all together.

Alpha_Barbie −  NTA. You have on many occasions asked to not be touched and they’ve ignored that boundary. You weren’t wrong to call her out in front of your FIL’s sister. Was it slightlyyy combative? Yes and she deserved it.

BUT, you shouldn’t have to tolerate triggers and swallow your reaction for others to be comfortable. Reprimanding her in a public way definitely got the point across and I don’t think she’ll be doing it again.

OP, you don’t have to have a traumatic background in order for their to be a valid reason to not want to be touched. You don’t want to be touched and you don’t owe anyone an explanation.

Consistent-Owl-7849 −  NTA. I accidentaly elbowed an old man hard in his gut. He came from behind and put both hands on my babynest. I was in line to the ATM, and he was a silent stranger.

Too bad for him that I wasn’t dressed in my uniform, he might have not approached me at all had he known I was a soldier at the time. I had to show security my military id to explain why I reacted so instantly like that. They also told him off for touching a stranger from behind in line to an ATM.

Why would I not think he was after my money? Stupid old man. Your MIL is lucky you were so nice. I would be done at that point.

Neenknits −  NTA. You did that really well. And when the baby comes, and you give them baby boundaries, they KNOW they had better toe that line!

Was the condescending tone justified, or did she take it too far? Share your thoughts below!