AITA for taking my necklace away from my sister?

A Redditor recounts an incident at a sporting event where their decision to keep their necklace away from their fussy baby sister sparked a heated reaction from their stepmother. Was prioritizing safety over quietness the right call, or did they overreact? Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for taking my necklace away from my sister?’

I (16F) attended a sporting event yesterday with my family. This includes my one year old sister – whom we’ll call Ellie for privacy reasons in this post. She’s super attached to me, so I had her on my lap during the game.
At one point, Ellie started to get really fussy and fidgety.

She started tugging on my necklace, and trying to put the charm in her mouth. I told her “no-no, sweetie” and took the necklace away from her. We did this back and forth a few more times before I gave up and stuck the necklace down my shirt so she couldn’t get to it.

When she realized that she couldn’t get it anymore, she had a very loud meltdown. My stepmom stepped in at this point, but she was absolutely mortified. She started lecturing me about “being the grown up here” and that I should have let Ellie have the necklace because it would have kept her quiet. She even threw in an “I’m sorry sissy was mean to you” to Ellie.

AITA for taking my necklace away from my baby sister?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Thortok2000 −  You WERE the grown up here and your stepmom is the one in need of a lecture about the kinds of things that should go in a baby’s mouth.. NTA. I can see this kid growing up without ever being told no. We have too many of those people. Sigh.

Aggressive_Cattle320 −  NTA At 16, you have more smarts and common sense than your step mom does when it concerns taking care of your baby sister! You did that absolute RIGHT thing! Your necklace is not a toy for a baby. It could easily be broken, baby could swallow or choke on the charm or worse.

Tell your step mom that you were not mean to your sister, only watching out for her safety. Remind her that, as a mother, it’s HER responsibility to bring safe toys to keep the baby quiet and happily occupied at such an outing.
You should be proud of yourself. You are an awesome big sister and she will adore you forever for loving her so much!

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 −  NTA. I guess your stepmom won’t be satisfied until she has to rush her baby to the ER to dislodge a random item from her throat in time to prevent her from choking to d**th. Some children are mouthy, and that’s why they make chew toys for babies that they can safely place in their mouths without the risk of swallowing them.

Being the grown up sometimes means setting boundaries, even if those boundaries cause a child, who is often incapable of understanding the boundary, to have a meltdown. You didn’t do anything wrong, and the baby didn’t do anything unexpected. Your stepmom should take her own advice and start acting like a grown woman.

By the way, here’s a true story. When I was an infant, I was chewing on an electrical cord that was plugged into a socket. My grandmother was watching me, and every time she tried to take the cord from me I started crying, so she just let me keep chewing on it to keep me quiet. I managed to chew right through it, and it burned a giant hole in the corner of my mouth. I still have the scar 50+ years later.

Snickerdoodle2021 −  Then again, your stepmom could have been the “grown up here” and actually parented her child instead of leaving it to you. Your child starts having a tantrum while his/her older sibling is holding them? Pick up the child, and parent. Go all in. And fyi, we never let a child put a necklace charm in their mouth. It is the definition of choking hazard.. NTA.

RaineMist −  NTA. Your stepmom would’ve blamed you if Ellie had put it in her mouth and choked.

SoItGoesbutmaybenot −  NTA! You behaved like an adult. You behaved like a parent. You are not the parent. Where was your stepmom while “sissy [was being] mean?” Why didn’t Ellie’s mother do something to soothe her rather than just blaming you for your sister being upset. Ellie is very lucky to have you.

I hope that I’m wrong, but I’m guessing that this is only the first in a long line of similar situations for you. You clearly love your sister. You know that you love your sister. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise or use that love against you.

Pure-Philosopher-175 −  NTA. You were trying to set a very reasonable boundary and protect Ellie from breaking the necklace or swallowing part of it. Stepmother sounds like a lazy and permissive parent. Ellie is going to grow up to be a real b**t if this is her mother’s attitude. I’d bet that if Ellie had broken or swallowed it, your stepmother would probably still blame you saying something like “you were careless and should have known better than letting a toddler play with it”.

embopbopbopdoowop −  You did the grown-up thing. Stepmom’s the one passive-aggressively talking down to you via a baby. Send your stepmom a link to an article about choking hazards for babies.. NTA.

Suitable-Tear-6179 −  NTA for taking the **choking hazzard** away from your infant sister.  Before she broke the chain and hurt herself.  Before she damaged your property.  Not to mention it can be painful to have the chain digging into the back of your neck. 

You obviously love your sister, no matter your step-mom’s slur.  As a practical recommendation, they make teething necklaces that are safe for babies that age.  As much as she loves climbing over you, you may want to keep one handy so she has something safe to put in her mouth.   Your step-mom is a bit of an i**ot.  It’s not too early to sooth the baby while saying “I’m sorry but it’s not yours. You could break it.”  

bloodyrose_angel −  NTA
If this was costume jewelry, it could contain toxic chemicals like lead.  Cheap stuff from the dollar store, second hand or unknown origin- you have no idea what it has in it. But sure, tell you step dragon sorry that she has to actually parent instead of utilize you for free child labour.