AITA for taking my Fiancè’s dinner after he touched mine?

One Reddit user, a 26-year-old woman, shared a story about a recurring issue with her 32-year-old blind fiancé. Whenever they dine out, he gets upset if she orders different food and often touches her plate to check if she’s having the same dish. After he touched her plate once again, she became disgusted and took his dinner instead.

This caused a huge argument, and he accused her of being childish and bitter. Now, he’s demanding an apology, but she’s standing her ground. Was she wrong for how she handled the situation? Read the full story below for more details.

‘ AITA for taking my Fiancè’s dinner after he touched mine?’

I’ll be quick, my f26 fiance m32 is blind. We don’t disagree a lot except, he always gets bothered whenever I eat different food from what he’s eating when we go out. Like, if we’re having dinner out and I order else,

he’d instantly get upset and accuse me of treating him as less than when I just have different taste in foods.I’d just eat what he eats to keep the peace (I eat out alone as alternative) but since he clearly doesn’t trust me, he’d randomly touch my plate to see if I’m having the same dish. This caused huge arguments between us and I told him to stop doing it and he said he would.

We went out to eat nights ago, and I ordered the same dish he ordered. When the food arrived, he looked somewhat uncomfortable. I asked what was wrong and he refused to say, and before I could even grab the fork he extended his arm and his hand touched the food on my plate.

He moved quickly and started excussing what he did saying he “just wanted to make sure…” but I lost it on him, I felt so grossed out and there was no way I could eat the food after he touched it. He tried to get me to drop it saying i shouldn’t be grossed out by his hand, and that I overreacted etc… but I grabbed his plate and told him that I was taking it as my donner.

He at first asked meto be “rational” and give the plate back but I refused. An argument ensued and we had a fight. He then ended up leaving started spam texting me accusing me of being bitter, pathetic and childish, and robbing his dinner.

He went to stay with his friend who picked him up and his friend sided with him saying I was in the wrong. Even went as far as to say that I was abusing my fiance and financially controlling him when I pointed out that I was the one who paid for the food.

The problem is magnified now with him wanting an apology and me refusing to give him one. My parents think I should have more patience and that this is just typical “love spats” between us but I’m not sure. Was I the ah with how I handled this?

EDIT I want to point out that this is not the case when we ate at home, he has no issue with me eating different food. But in public it’s a different story.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Curious_Puffin −  NTA. List of red flags: Him insisting you eat the same food as him. Him feeling he has the right to check to make sure. Him putting his hands on your food. Him continuing to touch your food after saying he would stop. There is something going on there, and you shouldn’t ignore it.. ​

\*\*EDIT\*\* Thank you for the awards! I really was not expecting all this love!!

prairiemountainzen −  INFO: Why on earth does he insist that you must order the same dish he orders at restaurants? And why on earth are you actually following this “rule” he’s implemented? This is ridiculously controlling.

[Reddit User] −  NTA but your fiancé is being unreasonably controlling. The fact that he wouldnt eat the plate that he touched shows he know its a disgusting thing to do. Then he gets pissy and goes pouting at his friends house ? For what ?

All this drama because of his uneasonable hangup about you eating different food than him. ​. DO. NOT. MARRY. THIS. MAN. He WILL use his disability at every turn to make you the bad guy, seeing how controlling he is now, it probably will get 10 times worse when you’re married.

The fact that you’re even questionning yourself in this instance shows that he’s spent a significant amount of time convincing you that him having control over you is normal and how it should be.

tomatofrogfan −  NTA. I’m sure this isn’t the only way he tries to exercise control over you. Why do you put up with this? Do you realize how incredibly disrespectful (forget bizarre, controlling, unsanitary, selfish, etc) it is for him to touch your food to *ensure* you’re eating the same food as him? I can’t believe you allow that.

To give you some perspective, this is a perfect example of the escalation of controlling behaviors. He started groping your food because you allowed him to control and dictate what you’re supposed to eat.

If you had out your foot down to begin with and refused to comply with his ridiculous demand that you eat the exact same thing as him, it wouldn’t have gotten to the point of him sticking his hands in your food.

So what’s next? How else is going to try to control you? It’s only going to go further downhill from here. Oh wait, it already did because he’s manipulating you by telling other people you’re abusive and controlling for not letting him control what you eat. Please leave this a**hole before things get infinitely worse.

CrystalQueen3000 −  Why are you with someone this irrational and controlling? I just eat what he eats to keep the peace. You know that’s not okay right? NTA but hon rethink this relationship

DinaFelice −  He has free choice of what to order, and he *still* attempts to police your food? Then, even when he’s “won,” he still feels the need to touch your food to prove it to himself? And *then* he gets upset when you switch plates *that have the exact same meal on them* so he can have the one he touched and you can have the untouched one? Even your fiancé should be able to see the massive number of red flags.

NTA. And the fact that he managed to get his friend to accuse you of abuse and your parents to believe this is a typical “spat” is deeply, deeply concerning. It means he is not only manipulating you, he is m**ipulative of others in your life in his quest to control and isolate you.

ShadyGreenForest −  He won’t let you order something different from what he orders? Girl….are you really so desperate? Is the bar REALLY this low?. Being single is better than this. Please leave this m**ipulative weirdo. It’s only gonna get worse

fatboytoz −  NTA what in the shitting hell did i just read?! He throws a strop if you dont order exactly the same meal as him? And if you do he touches your food? This man is deranged. Run far. Run fast.

OverRice2524 −  NTA. Ok look his behavior is unacceptable on so very many levels. Why can’t you just get what you want? How on earth does he think you’re getting something else? He’s not deaf too is he? Why doesn’t he trust you? Honey you are living in a sea of red flags. I don’t care that your fiance is blind – he is controlling, immature, and frankly ridiculous. You can do better.

lichinamo −  NTA. It’s not abuse to want your SO to *not put their damn hands on your food*

Do you think the Redditor was justified in taking her fiancé’s food after he touched hers, or was her reaction too extreme? How would you handle a partner who constantly oversteps boundaries like this? Share your opinions and thoughts below!