AITA for taking home Christmas cookies that were delivered to my office as a thank you.

In many workplaces, a tin of cookies can spark unwitting drama, exposing the delicate dance between generosity and entitlement. Like miniature Trojan horses, these free treats slip into break rooms under the guise of goodwill, yet often reveal deeper social tensions—reflecting everything from office hierarchies to unspoken rivalries. A single unopened box can trigger silent debates over who “deserves” the best portion, turning an ordinary snack run into a surprisingly comedic power play.

That’s the predicament our Original Poster (OP) is navigating. As a dentist inundated by holiday gifts from specialists, OP rarely indulges and usually lets the staff feast at will. One day, however, he took home an unopened tin meant for him—only to find himself labeled a cookie thief. Should he feel guilty for “stealing” what was arguably his to begin with?

‘ AITA for taking home Christmas cookies that were delivered to my office as a thank you.’

Expert Opinion:

Workplace dynamics, especially in small businesses or close-knit teams, can often be delicate when it comes to the ownership of gifts or personal belongings. According to Dr. Megan R. Murphy, a sociologist specializing in organizational behavior, the sharing and distribution of gifts in a workplace setting can be more complex than it seems. Murphy explains, “In many cases, office gifts are meant to foster goodwill, but when they are not handled transparently, they can become a source of tension.”

Studies indicate that workplace conflict over trivial matters, like gifts, can be exacerbated by underlying issues such as power dynamics, role expectations, and unspoken assumptions. A recent study by the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) found that over 50% of employees feel that their personal boundaries are often tested in office settings, leading to discomfort and resentment.

This aligns with the situation in the story, where the assistant’s reaction may stem from a feeling of unfairness, or an assumption that the cookies were meant for communal enjoyment.

From a psychological perspective, Dr. Laura H. Miller, a psychologist specializing in workplace behavior, suggests that entitlement plays a significant role in such conflicts. “Entitlement in the workplace is not always about malicious intent,” she explains. “It can arise from a lack of clear communication or an individual feeling overlooked or underappreciated.”

In this case, the assistant might have perceived the cookies as part of a shared office tradition and was blindsided by the dentist’s decision to take them home, particularly since the act was done without prior consultation.

Experts also recommend setting clear boundaries and expectations, especially in environments where gifts are shared. Dr. Miller adds, “Clear communication about ownership and the distribution of gifts can prevent such conflicts.

It’s important to maintain a balance between fairness and personal entitlement.” This could mean setting ground rules for how gifts are handled, making it clear that certain items may be taken home by individuals when they’re intended for them, while others might be shared.

In terms of conflict resolution, experts like Murphy encourage taking a proactive approach by addressing the issue directly. She advises, “A calm conversation about personal boundaries and expectations can resolve tensions.

In this case, the dentist should acknowledge the assistant’s feelings but also clarify the rationale behind taking the cookies home.” By fostering an open dialogue, both parties can better understand each other’s perspectives, ultimately leading to a more harmonious workplace environment.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Many Reddit users have weighed in on this situation, largely siding with the dentist. Most comments emphasize that the dentist was well within his rights to take the cookies home, especially since they were a personal gift for his referrals.

This situation brings to light the often unspoken expectations surrounding shared spaces and gifts in the workplace. It’s clear that this is a case of entitlement gone awry, but does it reflect a broader issue of communication and role clarity in workplace environments? Many would argue that while gifts should be shared in a spirit of goodwill, clarity and mutual respect should always guide decisions about who gets to keep what.

So, what would you do if you were in this situation? Would you have taken the cookies home, or would you have respected your assistant’s unspoken claim to them? It’s easy to see how this situation could escalate when both sides feel entitled to the same gift. What do you think is the best way to handle these kinds of workplace conflicts, especially when they involve something as simple as holiday treats? Share your thoughts and experiences with us in the comments below.