AITA for taking crappy holiday photos because my MIL didn’t want me in the photos?

Family holidays are meant to be joyful occasions filled with laughter, memories, and warm photographs that capture the spirit of togetherness. But what happens when a family member feels unwanted—so much so that they decide to sabotage the moment? Our OP, a 20-year-old newlywed, shares her story about how her mother-in-law (MIL) made it clear that she didn’t want OP included in the holiday photos. During a family photo session at Christmas,

MIL insisted that only “family” be featured, leaving OP feeling sidelined and disrespected. In response, rather than quietly sulk or accept the exclusion, OP intentionally took terrible, off-center, blurry pictures—transforming what could have been cherished memories into a series of “crappy” photos. While her wife found the stunt hilarious later, her MIL and some family members aren’t too happy. So, is OP the asshole for deliberately ruining the photos as a form of protest?

‘AITA for taking crappy holiday photos because my MIL didn’t want me in the photos?’

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist specializing in family and relationship dynamics, notes, “When you feel consistently excluded by a significant family member, it’s natural to experience intense emotions. However, the way you express that emotion is key. While using humor or even a bit of sabotage might provide momentary relief, it can also escalate conflicts and create lasting resentment. The core issue here is the unaddressed feeling of exclusion.” (kidshealth.org)

Family therapist Dr. Susan Johnson adds, “OP’s reaction is understandable given her personal history and the emotional sting of being left out. Still, deliberately taking poor photos as a form of protest may not pave the way for constructive resolution. Instead, a private conversation addressing why she feels unwelcome might have been more effective in setting boundaries.

That said, if the family dynamic has been unhealthy for a long time, a moment of cathartic expression—although messy—can be a signal for needed change.” Both experts agree that while OP’s feelings are valid, the method of expressing them matters greatly in terms of long-term family relationships.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Many redditors empathize with OP, saying that if you’re made to feel invisible by a key family member, sometimes a well-timed act of rebellion feels like the only option. “If they’re excluding you, why not give them a taste of your frustration?” one commenter noted.

Ultimately, OP’s decision to intentionally take terrible photos was born out of deep-seated frustration over being excluded from the family’s cherished moments. While her actions certainly made a public spectacle, many argue that when longstanding feelings of rejection are at play, a cathartic outburst—however messy—can be an understandable reaction.

On the other hand, there’s a strong argument for handling such issues with a private discussion rather than turning them into a public performance. Do you believe that when you’re repeatedly excluded, it’s acceptable to express your anger publicly, or should such conflicts always be resolved behind closed doors? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below—what would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation?