AITA for taking a solo bedroom instead of sharing with a stepbrother?

A Redditor recently shared their experience of moving into a new house with their father and stepfamily. As a 15-year-old, they were given the choice to either have their own room or share with one of their two younger stepbrothers, ages 11 and 7.

Despite feeling pressured by their dad and stepmother to share, the Redditor chose to take a solo bedroom due to the exhausting dynamic with their stepbrothers. The younger brother is very clingy, while the older brother, who has autism, looks up to them.

This decision caused disappointment in their dad and stepmother, leading the Redditor to question whether they were in the wrong for prioritizing their own space. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for taking a solo bedroom instead of sharing with a stepbrother?’

My dad and his wife bought a new house together and we moved in last week. Before moving I (15m) was told I could get my own room or share with one of my stepbrothers (11 and 7). Even though I was offered the choice my dad and his wife wanted me to share with one of the boys.

The reason for that is both stepbrothers think of me as a brother, not a step, and because they both admire me/look up to me. The 7 year old hero worships me and is super c**ngy and always wants to hang out and be my friend and be my brother. It’s a lot really. I don’t like it.

Sometimes I like getting out of the house just to not have my shadow with me everywhere I go. Most people would find it sweet but I find it exhausting. When we lived in the other house he always wanted to sleep in my room for “sleepovers” and stuff and was disappointed when I’d say no.

The 11 year old has autism and he looks up to me too but in a different way. I’m one of the only people he has ever wanted to spend time with. I’m one of the only people he’s comfortable around too. He doesn’t sleep great but will nap if I’m in the room so they thought I’d be good for him in that way.

They think I’d be good for both but they don’t have the closest of relationships and the 7 year old can make the 11 year old edgy so them sharing is not a great solution.

I never wanted to share with either of them and since we all live together 100% of the time (no other parents to go to) I knew having my own room was a big deal for me. So I chose my own room. My dad and his wife were really unhappy about it.

They gave me the choice though, for reasons, so they’re willing to follow through but they’re also going to make sure I know how disappointed and unhappy it makes them. We became a stepfamily two years ago btw.. So AITA?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

FloridianPhilosopher −  Most people would find it sweet but I find it exhausting. The people who find it sweet are 25 or older and not having it happen to them. (Like me.) Your reaction is pretty gentle for what I would expect from a teenage boy lol.

It’s fine to want your own space. It’s not an insult to anyone. Your Dad and Stepmother have their own room, I’m sure. That doesn’t mean they hate you all obviously. Shouldn’t mean that for you either.

laughter_corgis −  NTA. You made the choice that is right for you. Having to share with a younger kid wouldn’t have worked. Honestly the step-mom needs to realize that. If the other two have to share maybe help figure out how to make a divider so they both get privacy?

PickleNotaBigDill −  NTA. You are the oldest; that ought to come with some privilege. It’s great that the boys look up to you, but sometimes you need them to look from afar, eh?

I understand where your dad and step-mom are coming from, but they need to understand that since there is that second bedroom to have more space, then surely they, when they were 15, would have chosen to be the one to have it alone, as well.

I can understand wanting breathing room. The boys will just have to learn to get along better with each other, and that is on their mom. It’s not up to you to take on that role.

lolhoomie −  NTA. Giving false choices is a pedagogical mistake. It leads to children thinking that their opinion isn’t valued, which in your case, seem to be what’s going on. Your parents acted poorly.

TemptingPenguin369 −  NTA. Very unfair for your father and his wife to pretend you have a choice, then act disappointed when you make the choice they didn’t want you to make.

You’re your own person; the adults shouldn’t be giving you the job of helping the younger boys modulate their emotions. You’ve only known them for two years and I think you deserve to have your own room.

Texasgal60 −  Not that it really matters, as the older stepbrother had autism, but you say he is both 11 and 14. 15/11 year olds sharing a room is a bit of an age difference to share a room and 15/7 is definitely too big of an age difference to share a room.

Even a 15/14 with one having autism is asking too much of you. It’s a new house. They should have gotten a 4-bedroom. NTA

MerlinBiggs −  NTA. You need your own space and they need to learn to not depend on you.

MistressLiliana −  NTA. Teenagers need their privacy. In a few years you’ll hopefully be moving out and the other two can have their own rooms. You shouldn’t have to share at that age if there is another option.

Financial-Occasion-1 −  NTA. I applaud you for creating boundaries for yourself. Those are your stepbrothers NOT your children. You need time for yourself.

You will not always be under their roof they should plan accordingly. Going from an only child to having siblings 24/7 is overwhelming. 2 yrs was long enough. You deserve some space.

chalk_in_boots −  NTA. At my Dad’s for a long time I couldn’t get my own room because my sisters refused to share. I basically slept on a stretcher in the living room (how fun trying to convince them to turn the TV volume down because I had to go to sleep and them refusing).

Then later I often had to share with Dad’s new partner’s son who is a few years younger than me. That sucked still not having my own space as a teen.

My advice if they’re upset? Sit them down, look your Dad in the eyes, and ask “Dad, when you were a 15 year old boy, what did you spend a lot of time doing in your room? Now think about the logistics of me sharing with someone.”

Do you think the user was justified in wanting their own space, or should they have considered sharing with their stepbrothers? How would you handle the dynamics of living in a blended family? Share your thoughts below!