AITA for suggesting/letting my 17 year old son get drunk?

Parenting decisions can be fraught with complexity—especially when they involve exposing minors to alcohol. In one Reddit post that has sparked heated debate, a 46‑year‑old father shares how he decided to give his 17‑year‑old son a “test run” with beer before the boy attended his first high school party. Residing in Canada (where the legal drinking age in his province is 19),

the father explains that, given the widespread nature of teenage drinking in his community, he wanted his son to learn his limits in the safety of his own home. While the experience allowed for an open conversation between father and son about responsible drinking, the father’s wife—who was away caring for her dying mother—strongly disagreed,

calling his decision reckless and irresponsible. This article examines the story in detail, reviews expert opinions on adolescent alcohol use and parental supervision, summarizes community reactions, and invites readers to share their own thoughts on whether the father’s actions were justified.

‘ AITA for suggesting/letting my 17 year old son get drunk?’

Expert Opinions:

The Role of Supervised Exposure
Dr. Sandra Brown, an expert on adolescent behavior, states,
“While early exposure to alcohol can be risky, some parents argue that a controlled, supervised experience can help young people learn their limits. However, even in such cases, it is essential to weigh the potential benefits against the legal and health risks.”

The Message Behind Providing Alcohol to Minors
Family therapist Dr. Michelle Lewis explains,
“Even when a parent’s intentions are to create a safe environment, providing alcohol to a 17‑year‑old can send mixed messages about substance use. It’s crucial that any discussion around alcohol includes clear communication about its risks and the importance of moderation.”

Legal and Developmental Considerations
Dr. David Green, a developmental psychologist, adds,
“In regions where the legal drinking age is higher, any consumption by minors—no matter how supervised—carries legal and developmental implications. Parents need to consider both the short-term learning and the long-term impact on their child’s behavior and health.”

Practical Solutions Proposed by Experts:

• Structured Communication: Engage in an open discussion with your child about alcohol, ensuring they understand the risks, legal boundaries, and the importance of knowing their limits.
• Alternative Learning Opportunities: Consider other educational methods (such as attending an alcohol awareness session) that provide information without actual consumption.
• Setting Clear Guidelines: If you decide to allow supervised drinking, clearly outline the limits beforehand and explain why these limits exist—so the experience is framed as a learning opportunity rather than permission to drink freely.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit users have been sharply divided over this issue. Many argue that the father’s intention—to create a controlled setting for his son’s first drinking experience—is a pragmatic harm‑reduction approach, especially in an environment where teenage drinking is common. One commenter wrote, “Learning your limits in a safe space is better than stumbling into a party unprepared.” However, others feel that providing alcohol to a minor is inherently reckless, regardless of the context. Some even suggest that this method risks normalizing underage drinking and could have legal repercussions. Despite the differences, most agree that the underlying issue is complex and heavily dependent on personal and cultural values.

The decision to allow a 17‑year‑old to consume alcohol—even under supervision—raises significant ethical, legal, and developmental questions. While some see this as a responsible attempt to educate a young person about their limits, others argue it crosses a line that could have lasting consequences.

Ultimately, whether you believe the father is justified depends on your views about harm reduction, parental responsibility, and the cultural context in which teenage drinking occurs. What do you think? Is it better to teach moderation in a controlled environment or to adhere strictly to legal age limits? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.