AITA for storming off when dad asked my aunt to take her device for me?
An art student (21F) wants to buy a tablet device worth around $300 with her own savings. Her dad suggests taking an old tablet from her aunt, but she prefers to purchase her own. After expressing her feelings, her dad ignored her and called her aunt to arrange for the device anyway.
Frustrated at being dismissed, she stormed off to her room. She feels conflicted about her reaction, questioning whether she overreacted. read the original story below…
‘ AITA for storming off when dad asked my aunt to take her device for me?’
So I’m an artist and there is this device tablet thing I’ve been wanting for a very long time, which isn’t even that expensive (≈300$), I’m in my third year at college, and I have my own money that I saved but I live with my parents.
My dad’s sister has this exact device that she used to use 7+ years ago but it has been collecting dust for a couple of years now, I know for sure she doesn’t need it nor want it, but I don’t know whether it’s working properly or not.
My dad suggested I take hers, I DONT WANT TO, he was like “why spend the money when you don’t have to?” And we have a pretty good relationship with my aunt so it’s okay. But the thing is, if I have the money and can buy myself one, why would I take a used one from her? It’s not like I’m in need or sth.
so I was telling my dad that, and he was silent and acted as if he got it now, but all of a sudden I heard my aunts voice? Dad ignored everything I said and called her and asked her to take it and she said okay.
When he hung up he looked at me and said “just see if it’s working properly or not, if not then buy a new one” it’s not about its condition though? I said something like “why would you force me” and went to my room. Am I being over dramatic or is my reaction understandable?
I’m frustrated cuz why ask me all the questions when he set up his mind already to call her? Idk I just feel bad now but I’m not sure if I have the right to or not tbh. EDIT: I do get my dad’s and ya’lls point on why buy a new one immediately when I can try out my aunts tablet.
And I already knew about my aunt’s tablet and used it when I was in MIDDLE SCHOOL. It’s this old. But it’s not even about the condition of the device nor about the whole tablet thing.
My problem is, if I was clear with my dad that I didn’t want it, and I politely told him that I’d prefer buying a new one (with my money, never asked my dad to pay for it not expected it like some of yall assumed?), then why would my dad ignore my statements and called her still?
I just felt unheard, and as if my dad is spoon feeding me still, I’m allowed to make the decision myself and to refuse the help if I don’t need it.
Check out how the community responded:
mlsinpa69 − YTA. Yes, you’re being dramatic… “I’m crying in frustration”… oh, please! Why not see if your aunt’s device is in working order? Why not save the money if you can? If it’s not in working order, no harm, no foul, and you have the money to buy a new one. How can you not see this is the common sense way to go about it?
AngelaMoore44 − What? I read this twice and I have no idea why you’re upset. Your dad was trying to potentially help you save your money by offering a free device. He even said if it doesn’t work like you want it to you can buy a new device. Sounds like a great dad.
811545b2-4ff7-4041 − Your dad wants to save you money. You are being over dramatic. It’s some kind of Wacom drawing tablet I guess? “Dad, thanks for the help, but I’ve saved up my own money to buy one, and the one my aunt has is an older model – I want to buy the new one.
It was a good idea to ask her though. It would make a good backup incase my new one had a problem”
Emotional-Ebb8321 − YTA. You want a doohickey. You are being offered a free doohickey. It might be working, in which case yay you just saved a few hundred bucks. Or it might not be working, in which case you say thanks but no thanks, and buy a new one.
Yes, you are rich enough to afford a new one. Are you so rich that you can honestly find no other use for that $300 though? Because the only reason to be offended by this offer is if you genuinely could lose $300 and not miss it.
forgeris − YTA. You are being overly sensitive, check that device, imagine whatever issues you want to imagine not to use it and buy your own. Or maybe you can avoid spending 300$ and buy something else if that device actually turns out to be usable.
Never will understand people who are given EXTRA choice and they take it as badly as like being forced to do something. You don’t have to take that device if you don’t want to but you have such an option, so be grateful that you have a choice.
Inconceivable76 − YTA. why would you spend money on something when you could get it for free? does Money come so easily to you that you can afford to just flush $300 down the toilet? let me guess, your parents pay for your housing and school, so the concept of money being a finite commodity is still something you struggle with.
Zestyclose_Gur_8889 − You’re in your third year at college so I assume you are an adult. So act like one. Don’t ask your father. Just go buy one.
Superb_Grapefruit854 − You say it’s the exact device but that confuses me. When I hear the word tablet in a context like this I equate that with something like an iPad. If so, a 7 year old one of any variety is definitely not the same thing. If that is true then it’s an easy N T A here.
However, if it’s something more specific to your art that is not current technology dependent then you are certainly exercising poor judgment and definitely being “dramatic” about the whole thing. Look, you are an adult. You should act like one.
If you can fund a new one out of your own money then you simply do so. The one from your Aunt can remain sitting on your Dad’s desk since you were very clear to him. What’s with all the fits and crying? Calmly thank your father and explain you aren’t interested if that’s your decision.
Lily_Flowrs − YTA and sound super annoying. If someone has the same exact thing you want, FOR FREE, why would you still choose to spend $300 on a new one? You seem like one of those people that only wants something new even if someone has the same thing for free though used.
ReviewOk929 − he said ” “just see if it’s working properly or not, if not then buy a new one” You said “why would you force me” YTA – Unless I’m missing something here this is hardly the classic definition of “forcing” someone. It just seems like an over the top reaction to someone trying to help you.
Get your Aunts one, say it doesn’t work whatever happens and go buy yourself the new one anyway. Don’t think this interaction needed to elicit quite this much of a response
What do you think? Share your thoughts below!
Any type of tablet that is 7 years old will be technologically out of date. It’s processing system will need to be updated and many of the programs may need to be as well, even if they are the exact same programs, updates and patches will have been applied. A new tablet will already have these updates and patches and any necessary memory/hardware charges, perhaps explaining this to your father and buying a new tablet while your aunt’s updates is the best option.
Ok, everyone needs to understand one thing. OP tried it out in middle school, therein college. This is a piece of technology/ tablet. At this point it’s out of date. So NTA for wanting up to date stuff. Think about it
Sorry, but I disagree. The chances are that the technology of the tablet has developed extensively over the last few years and therefore an older version would not be suitable for what is required – as it’s implied it is needed for a particular course. The item has been saved for and is something the OP is happy to purchase without wanting or needing assistance from others. This has been a focused and diligent process, which is a hugely commendable attitude. Years old tech is probably not fit for purpose and also doesn’t reward saving or working towards a goal. This purchase has no impact on anyone else at all and is therefore something the OP should be able to decide without judgement.
Sorry but you sound very immature and childish. If aunts tablet is the same why is that a problem? Old tech can be very old. Just get aunts table chk it out. Then you can say the techs too old and won’t work with the other computers. I assure you it prob won’t.. so now you did what your dad asked. And respected him. And yes you need to honor n respect your parents.and no your not being disrespected because Dad suggested you at least chk it out. He loves you n he’s trying to help. So maybe show him the respect. Chk it out. What ? You can’t spend a bit of time doing this? I get it your frustrated because you just wanted a new one? You will live. But disrespecting your dad could have future consequences. A little courtesy and respect goes a long way. You have 0 reasons to be so stubborn. All you had to do was say yes sir, then chk it out afterwards go buy the one you want with the hopefully latest tech. Heck I’m not sure why you ask permission if all you were gonna do was be argumentative. There’s no way that’s the exact same thing unless it’s just a screen with lights. All the tech has improved changed and is no longer compatible with what’s out now. If as you say you used it in grade school. Sounds older than 7 yrs. Quit whining. Suck it up and act like an adult with manners.
Seriously OP, the only problem here is that you don’t have any problem
Your dad is potentially trying to get you “the exact device” that you want for free, which should be a boon for a young adult, and he even said that if it doesn’t work, buy a new one
But you don’t want it because, what? It’s not shiny enough? Can’t be because that it may not work, because your dad literally said if it doesn’t work to buy a new one.
You basically are throwing a toddler tantrum and being immature about not being taken as a mature person
Grow up
NTA. Girl, you’re an adult. Go buy what you want/need without consulting with your father.
Men try to fix things – that’s their nature. So, when you told your Dad that you were looking to get a tablet, he “fixed” the situation for you so you wouldn’t have to spend the money. This goes for MOST Men… It wasn’t like your Dad didn’t listen to you, he DID listen and proceeded to fix what wasn’t broken 😉 Save the comments about thinking about buying something for your Girlfriends… they will listen and not try to fix anything.
The tablet is 7 years old. That’s 1000 years in electronic age. I’m not sure why OP is pouting though. You’re an adult, it’s your money. Just go buy the thing.
TBH NTA. You were clear with your intentions and your dad offered your aunt’s tablet. It’s not like your aunt offered it to you to help you. Your dad offered it. That should have been where he stopped. If it were his tablet, that would be one thing but he was offering someone else’s property and insisting you take that route up to the point of calling and informing her that she needed to bring her property to give to you. It’s an uncomfortable position and the fact that he didn’t respect your choice is frustrating. Yes, it could save you money, but it was not his to offer, and you already told him you’d prefer to get your own.
NTA: I understand your point that your dad is just walking all over you. He is not letting you make your own decisions. Yes, taking your aunts old pad would save you money, but that is not what “you” wanted. You wanted to make your own decision of what you wanted. All these people calling you the AH are just like your dad. Good luck