AITA for still going to my sister’s wedding after my husband canceled my plane ticket?

A Reddit user shares a heated family conflict involving her sister’s wedding. Despite her husband’s objections, she decided to attend the wedding, even after he canceled her flight. Her decision led to arguments, accusations of neglect, and guilt about leaving her children behind. The user now wonders if she was wrong for going ahead with her plans.

‘ AITA for still going to my sister’s wedding after my husband canceled my plane ticket?’

Here’s the situation. My husband [36] and I [30] have 3 kids [2, 4, 7] . I’m a sahm (full time) and I take care of the kids while my husband works (full time). My sister’s wedding was last week. We live hours away which is an issue for my husband. When we first got the invite he told me that he wasn’t going, that he will stay for the kids and suggested I do the same.

Since the wedding doesn’t allow kids and my husband doesn’t want to hire a babysitter after the one we had robbed us. We had gone back and forth on this. But I insisted on going since that’s my only sister and I want to attend what might be a once in a lifetime event for her. He chuckled at my statemtment then we stopped talking about it.

As the wedding was appraoching, He brought it up and told me to miss it and stay with the kids. I suggested that since no babysitters were allowed then, I could get my friend to stay with the kids but he refused. I ignored him, spoke to my friend who agreed to watch the kids and booked a ticket to travel to my sister’s town in time.

My husband found out and went on about how he had work, and that the most logical solution is that I stay home with the kids and let him make his living. I told him that I already took care of the kids and they’ll stay with my friend. Honestly? I grew inpatient. The day of my flight I dropped the kids off at my friend’s place then headed to the airport. I found out he had canceled my plane ticket. I was upset but still insisted on going so I went home and got into my car and drove 4hrs to get to the town.

At 5pm. My husband called and was freaking out on me asking where I was. I told him I made it to my sister’s town and he blew up saying I wasn’t supposed to go, even said he canceled my ticket to get me to stay. He demanded I return but I said not until the wedding was over. He called me horrible, neglectful mom then had his mom scold me and accuse me of abandoning my own kids.

There was a huge argument ensued when I returned home and my husband kept on saying I was horrible to leave the kids and to ignore him like that and do what I wanted eventually. He’s giving me silent treatment as of now and I can no longer take it. I felt guilty and did NOT enjoy the wedding AT ALL.. Was I wrong for still going?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

waywardjynx −  Financial abuse? Yup. Isolating you from loved ones? Yup. Controlling behavior? Yup. NTA and please leave the AH (he should be required to give you child support and alimony). You are not neglectful, your kids were taken care of.

Aussiebiblophile −  horrible, neglectful mom. From the man that did everything he could to not have to parent his own kids for a weekend. Your relationship is not healthy. He is manipulating and controlling. Hopefully the comments here open your eyes. NTA.

Vequihellin − Run. Run now. He’s controlling and isolating you from family. You’re already beholden to him as the ‘bread winner’ and he cancels a plane ticket to force you to stay away form your family, then has his mother ‘scold you’? You need to gtfo of there ASAP.

thejackalreborn −  NTA. He’s awful, it’s ridiculous to suggest you miss the wedding as there were obviously childcare solutions and to cancel the ticket is super abusive. I can’t see how this doesn’t cause massive damage to your relationship, he’s ridiculously controlling.

SynapticDelay −  Observation: Has anyone noticed that a lot of men in these posts try to hide behind their moms?

[Reddit User] −  Why is he trying so hard to isolate you from someone you love? Repeatedly insisting you not go is bad enough, but cancelling your ticket is out of bounds. Verbally abusing you and sending his mother to verbally abuse you just because you want to see your sister’s wedding is gross.

You were right to go, and if I were you, I would reconsider whether I wanted to stay married to a man who is this controlling- and a man who sends his mummy to threaten you just for wanting to go to your sister’s wedding. NTA but seriously, consider hard whether this is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. I know I wouldn’t. Edit- thanks for the award kind human.

Maestro_Primus −  NTA. Its your sister’s wedding, so you get to go. He can take a day off. You arranged childcare with a trusted friend. They were fine, you are not neglectful. Your husband cancelled your ticked without telling you. He ignored your wishes and does not get to complain that you ignored him.

sekhenet −  Nta. Hire a divorce lawyer.

jammy913 −  NTA. I like that you did what you had to do to be there for your sister. It’s just a shame you didn’t enjoy her wedding though. I’m glad you didn’t let your husband’s tactics stop you. I think you should take the silent treatment as the gift it is, since most of the talking he did in your post was dismissive of you and your feelings.

EcstaticRain9835 −  Info: do you have evidence the babysitter robbed you apart from the missing items and your husband’s testimony? It sounds like he is trying to isolate and control you. It is completely unreasonable to expect your wife to skip her only sister’s wedding.