AITA for staying true to my threats after my dad died?

A Redditor shared their story about enforcing strict boundaries after their father’s sudden death to protect the family estate. Despite warning their extended family not to take anything from the house, the situation escalated when security footage revealed theft, leading to legal action. Read the original story below to learn how they handled the fallout.

‘ AITA for staying true to my threats after my dad died?’

My dad died unexpectedly last week and my sister Jess and I lost our mom last year to a mix of cancer and the virus. From how our family acted in the past over scavenging over dead people’s things both Jess and I decided to send out a family memo on no one is to enter or take anything from our parents house until we get there.

Both Jess and I work on the west coast so it takes some time to get there with all of our kids and family. I saw several notifications from my parents Ring Doorbell and I’m a lawyer. I reminded my family we will prosecute. Jess and I are on the same page.

Jess gets to my parents house first and notices stuff is missing and my parents had security cameras and an Alexa show. It shown my cousin taking stuff from the house. So Jess did what we agreed on and called the police and two of our cousins was arrested. Because it was over a thousand dollars both are looking at felonies.

My cousin said my dad promised him this stuff and I have my dad’s will making me executor of the estate. I told him he should have waited to file a claim with estate and everyone was warned about what would happen. Jess and I don’t have the best relationship with our extended family and We are not dropping charges.

Because of this drama dad was quietly cremated with no service and we plan to hold one when scattered our parents ashes at Jess’s house in a tree planted for them. My last living grandma is upset about it but she sided with my cousins and aunt saying we are too tough on having them arrested.

See what others had to share with OP:

Prodigious_Wind −  There is nothing quite so unedifying as the rush by distant family members to grab what they can when someone dies.. Definitely NTA.

mdthomas −  So your dad had a will naming you the executor and your relatives decided to steal from your dad’s estate.. NTA

The__Riker__Maneuver −  NTA. My advice? Follow through with the charges and use this opportunity to remove these people from your life permanently. Don’t give a single thing or a single penny to anyone in the extended family that you are not on good terms with.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Your dad created a will and made you the executor of the estate for a reason. If your cousin’s were actually meant to have the thousands of dollars worth of items they took, they could’ve waited until you arrived.

It sucks that they got arrested but the first thing on their minds when losing a relative shouldn’t be “I should take items from their house” or “I’m owed these items let me go collect.” Plus you and your sister gave advanced warning, so it’s not like you just randomly decided to call the police.

imothro −  NTA. You did the exact right thing. That was breaking and entering and anybody supporting those actions should be cut from your lives entirely. Sorry for your loss and sorry your family is awful.

lace_attack −  NTA. You stated the consequences and they ignored it. Law is law especially when talking that much money. That’s breaking and entering not to mention stealing

LiolaCharm −  NTA “From how our family acted in the past over scavenging over dead people’s things” Sounds like your family sees absolutely nothing wrong with stealing things from those who have passed. They need to learn that stealing from family is still stealing and still wrong. There’s nothing like the law to teach them a lesson.

tatersprout −  NTA. They broke in and burglarized your parents home. Do not drop the charges. They were warned and thought you would ignore their behavior. Stay strong.. I am so sorry for your losses.

redditposter-_- −  NTA, who goes through a dead person’s thing before their kids get there?

OneWithoutaName2 −  NTA. I had a cousin who practically cleaned out our grandmother’s house. This was long before the advent of ring doorbells or security cameras so she got away with the theft of thousands of dollars of stolen property.

Your cousins broke into a home when they could have waited for you & your sister to arrive and asked nicely for some momentous. Since your family relationships are strained already, let them stew in the pot of trouble they choose to create.

Do you think the Redditor’s firm stance on protecting their parents’ estate was justified, or was it too harsh considering family dynamics? How would you handle such a situation with your own family? Share your thoughts below!