AITA for starting to date someone else after the girl I WAS dating ghosted me for over a month?

A man (25M) finds himself in a moral dilemma after starting a new relationship following a month of silence from a woman (23F) he was dating. When she reached out to explain her absence, citing grief and mental health struggles, he informed her he had moved on.

Her reaction left him questioning his actions and whether he handled the situation fairly.

‘ AITA for starting to date someone else after the girl I WAS dating ghosted me for over a month?’

I (m25) was looking for a relationship, someone I could be serious about. I met B (f23) on a dating site and we got on really well, we hung out, went on some dates, even slept together, and we were in contact through text messages everyday for around a month,

I’d expressed that I liked her, she told me she liked me too, and then she just stopped responding to me. It was really out of the blue. I’d hit her up one day, she opened my message and completely aired me.

I didn’t pester, and assumed she may have been busy in that moment, she never responded the rest of that day. I hit her up the next day, asking if she’d like to go somewhere with me, like a day out to the city or something, again, she read the message and aired me.

I decided to just not message her after that, and left the ball her in court because I didn’t want to be a pest, 3 weeks went by and heard nothing from her. So I got back on the dating site and met someone else, a girl called K (f26) We also got on well,

and have started dating, and have been dating for the last couple of weeks and have been really enjoying our time together. Yesterday I got a text from B, she apologised, told me her grandma had died and that she’d been struggling mentally.

I told her I was sorry to hear that, then she tried to just kinda pick up where we left off. I messaged her back explaining that I thought she was no longer interested,

and that I was dating someone else now, she wasn’t happy to hear that and sent me a huge message talking about her mental health and that she just didn’t want me to see that and have to hear about that when we were fresh in our dating.

I told her I would have understood that had she just dropped me a simple text to say all this at the time instead of completely airing me, and that I wasn’t about that energy, and wasnt about just hanging around without a word for weeks.

Far as I knew she was just ghosting me, she called me heartless. I told her I can’t read minds over the phone. She messaged me a couple of times over the last 24 hours. And I’ve now blocked her number. (I also told K about this situation by the way) I guess none of that matters now, but was curious if people think im an a**hole for all that.

See what others had to share with OP:

TheMistressBela −  you were upfront and clear in your communication with B, and after being ghosted for over a month, you had no reason to keep waiting for her to reach out. When she stopped responding, you gave her space and didn’t pester her, which is respectful.

People are entitled to move on when they feel ignored or disrespected, and you did so by dating someone else.

707808909808707 −  She was seeing someone else buddy. When he was done with her she came back to you. It’s not complicated; she just thought you’d wait for her and not ask any questions.

Glum-Bet-9895 −  Nta. And I doubt there even was a grandma. She probably found someone she thought was better. And he didn’t want her so she came crawling back.

Couette-Couette −  Let’s pretend that she told you the truth about why she ghosted you. The obvious conclusion here is that she is not mentally ready to date you. You were rigth for moving on. NTA

SecretaryPresent16 −  Absolutely NTA. Maybe she was going through something but dead grandma or not, she can’t expect you to just wait around when she gave zero communication. You weren’t even officially together. You’re not heartless, you’re a normal person

Broficionado −  Nope NTA. You aren’t her therapist so her mental health is none of your concern, and even if you were that s**t isn’t free. Ghosting somebody for a month is a clear “not interested”.

“My grandma died” we’ve all got dead people, lady, what’d she break her thumbs out of mourning or something? Why couldn’t she manage a single text? “My grandma died, I just need some time.” Took 2 seconds.

dr_lucia −  Honestly, you made the right decision. I feel sorry for her that her grandma died and that that was tough on her. But she could have responded to your text, told you here grandma died and that was hard on her.

You really can’t be expected to wait around indefinitely for someone who gives you the silent treatment for a considerable amount of time. You aren’t heartless. And honestly, are you really supposed to d**p the new gf because the old one got in touch with you?

Would that be “not heartless”? (Well… and gf might be a bit of an exaggeration of status.). NTA

ShoddyIntrovert32 −  NTA. If it was true that she was going through a tough time. All it took was sentence saying her grandma passed and needed a little time to herself. She didn’t do that. She ignored and ghosted you. Time to move on. Haven’t even started dating and there’s drama already, is a very bad sign.

Lualin87 −  Nta. When me and my husband first starting flirting and working out if we wanted to b more than friends his grandad past away, he messaged me to let me know it had happened and he needed some time to process and help his mum come to terms with it.

I completely understood, a month later he messaged and well here we are nearly 16 years later. The point is he communicated with me. She just left you in the lurch.

Do you think the man was justified in moving on after a month of silence, or should he have given the first woman another chance after learning about her struggles? How would you approach a situation like this? Share your perspective below!