AITA for speaking Italian to my GF’s rude Italian American family and embarrassing them?

A Reddit user recounts meeting his girlfriend’s Italian American family, who pride themselves on their heritage but acted rudely during dinner. When the teasing crossed the line, he surprised them by speaking fluent Italian, exposing their inability to understand the language they claim as a cornerstone of their identity.

While the grandfather appreciated the moment, the rest of the men were furious, labeling him disrespectful. Read the full story below to see how the dinner unfolded.

‘ AITA for speaking Italian to my GF’s rude Italian American family and embarrassing them?’

Due to my dad’s job we lived in Italy for 3 years when I was younger, so I speak Italian almost fluently (it’s been awhile, so I’ve lost some of it). ​Recently I started dating a girl. She’s great and I love her so much. I met her family a few nights ago for dinner.

She warned me that the male side of her family is very big into being macho, into “testing” the boys the women date and are VERY big on taking pride in their Italian ancestry. I think besides the grandfather, however, they were almost all born in Bergen County, NJ but whatever, its nice to take pride in ones heritage..

Long story short at dinner they kept making jokes at my expense (I honestly would not call it b**lying, just things about my height, beard, shaved head). They tried making fun of my IT job too but stopped once I told them my income. It was overall not a bad experience, but a not so pleasant one.

Anyways, her older brother kept pushing things, giving me exceptional amounts of s**t for playing Lacrosse in HS (apparently its a sport for prissy rich kids and not manly like football or baseball).

He ended his rant by saying “hey, we’re just a big Italian family, we’re loud and tell it how we see it! Hahaha!” and all the family except my girlfriend laughed. So I, for the next minute, responded to everything they said in Italian.

My girlfriend buried her head in shame, the grandfather laughed and everyone else kept looking at each other confused before telling me they didn’t speak Italian. I replied “then don’t use your Italian heritage as an excuse to behave poorly when you can’t even speak the language.”

They got mad, but the grandfather told them all I was right and to be quiet.. ​My girlfriend isn’t mad, just ashamed, I think the grandfather likes me, but word from my gf’s sister is that all the men are furious, think I’m a smart ass and that I disrespected them and their masculinity in an unforgiveable way. So AITA?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

bigbrainvirus −  LOL NTA. The grandad knows it! He probably half rolls his eyes every time they say they are Italian when he knows he’s the last speaker. You shut them down in the most epic/appropriate way possible! Your girlfriend should be proud flaunting that her boyfriend is more Italian than any of them.

splbm −  LMAO- the pure savagery from what you said & did is so golden. You totally won the heart of your GF’s grandfather (I wish I had that kind of grandfather, but mine is an AH). You and your GF are lucky to have each other.. NTA- Sending good vibes

Elfich47 −  NTA – it sounds like the “boys” were hoping to put you through a hazing ritual and you weren’t biting and it them in their place.. And grandpa approved.

[Reddit User] −  NTA, they were being jerks. As someone who has also been to Italy a bunch of times, I know there is a big difference between Italian Americans and real Italians. Real Italians are not loud in public, or “call it how they see it”. In fact, that is how you spot an American tourist in Italy.

HelpMeUpPls −  Lol, they woulnd’t say lacrosse is for prisses if they had ever played 😂 especially compared to baseball. All the football/hockey kids I know where I live play lacrosse during the offseason. It IS an expensive sport, though. NTA. They sound insecure AF. The grandfather knows what’s up.

DoItForTacos −  NTA,. They brought it upon themselves. They went out of their way to put you down and you defended yourself the best way you could. You have the grandfather’s respect for this and mine.

You should not let others walk all over you or they will continue to do so in the future. They must be the ones to realize that they were at fault just as much if not more.

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 −  NTA. They obnoxiously pushed their heritage on you, and you gave it right back to them in kind. Her grandfather got where you were coming from. Respect needs to go both ways.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. A good, humbling dose of “f\*ck around, find out”.

The_Rossman −  NTA – As an Italian that also comes from a proud family, we’re not all like that but I definitely have met many of these types in my time. They’re embarrassing and I’m glad you shamed them for being assholes. It’s a very North American Italian kind of thing.

SimpleMindedFool1 −  Oh no, you being able to speak Italian and calling them out for their b**lshit behavior shattered their fragile masculinity! What a heartless and unexcusable thing to do!

They are only mad because you were right. They are not a “loud Italian family that tell things how they see them” they use their heritage to be major assholes. Good for you to call them out on their b**lshit.. NTA

Do you think the user’s clever response was justified, or should he have handled the situation differently to avoid escalating tensions? How would you respond to such behavior at a family gathering? Share your thoughts below!