AITA for snapping at my sister after my parents asked me to skip a Christmas gift this year so she could get special braces?

A Reddit user shared their frustration about being repeatedly asked to sacrifice for their younger sister, who they feel is overly favored by their parents. The situation came to a head when their parents asked them to forgo a Christmas gift so the sister could get expensive braces, leading to a heated argument where they snapped at both their parents and sister. Now, they’re wondering if their outburst was justified or if they overreacted. Read the full story below to decide.

‘ AITA for snapping at my sister after my parents asked me to skip a Christmas gift this year so she could get special braces?’

I (16m) have a younger sister (14f). Our parents always treated us differently because I’m a boy and she’s a girl. They really don’t want her to ever be disappointed and they’d always ask me to skip stuff or give up something so she could do something else or have something else.

Examples of that. If we both got invited to birthday parties on the same day they’d ask me to skip it so she could go to the other, instead of just dropping us off at the different parties. If it was my turn to pick where we ate for dinner and I wanted my favorite, and she complained, they’d ask me to let her pick, even though I didn’t like her favorite either. But she was younger and a girl so they thought it was okay.

If we went on vacation or to the amusement park close to our town, they’d ask if I minded going last so she could go on rides or do what she wanted to do, and then they’d just never get around to mine. Then if I was given candy or something and she liked it, I’d be asked to give it to her. I did say no sometimes but I was either told I was an older sibling and should or they ignored my no and did what they wanted to anyawy.

Because of this my sister expected this and she became so spoiled. It only got worse when I started babysitting two years ago and making money. I was asked to buy her something she wanted or to give her some money. And of course saying no was a waste of time again.

My sister needs braces now. She doesn’t want the regular ones. I was told she’s not getting Invisalign either but there’s some special braces she won’t mind wearing but they cost a lot. She complained when our parents said they didn’t have the money and she complained so hard that she even said they shouldn’t give me anything for Christmas this year to afford it.

So of course my parents asked me if I was okay with not getting a gift this year so she could have those braces. I started to say no and they started talking over me so I said you basically f**k you and do what you want because I don’t count.

My sister was trying to say something about it and I pointed right at her face and told her to stop f**king talking to me. I called her a spoiled and selfish b**t and I said I don’t want her to be my sister, I said I’m older but it doesn’t mean she should always come first. She argued back at first and I told her to f**king stay away from me and she can f**k off with our parents. I was mad.

My parents tried to yell at me that same night but I was so mad they stopped. But the next day they told me snapping at my sister was wrong and I shouldn’t say yes if I mean no. So I said no and they said saying no doesn’t work. I told them to f**k off. They took my stuff for over a week for talking to them like that and they lectured me again for taking it out on my sister.. AITA?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

TarzanKitty −  NTA. Your parents are TERRIBLE parents and your sister is the product of their work.

KateMaxwell1 −  NTA .. OP is there someone outside of your parents you can turn to? Like you grandparents or a friend? You’re being slowly shunted out of your family because of your sister.. I’ve been in your shoes and now my family wonder why I dont talk to them! You’ll need to find someone to talk to, someone that is not connected to your family .. maybe a school Councillor or something , cause this will cause trauma down the line.

Proper_Rush_9367 −  Keep doing what you’re doing. Maybe it’ll eventually sink in that they’re losers that are enabling your sister’s pathetic and entitled behaviour.

Victor-Grimm −  NTA-Instead of letting them take your stuff. Counter them and put all your stuff in your sister’s room. The only things I would keep are clothes you only can wear, your bed, and night stand. When I say give her everything I am talking all of it including toys, hard reset your phone, everything. When they feed you take the minimum to eat and push the rest of your food to her and stop doing any chores. Don’t let your parents have anything to take from you.

Then I would sit and do nothing but schoolwork. No other work, chores, talking, nothing. Only do schoolwork and take the bus because that will mess up your future. Do as much schoolwork so you can get college scholarships to move out. Wait for them to crack because they will.

When they talk to you just say you want her to have everything and me nothing so I am making it happen. Don’t break until they do. When they suggest therapy agree but remind them it will cost money away from their precious daughter. Just keep throwing it back at their face. 2 years is what you got. Make them suffer with guilt.

Sweet-Interview5620 −  NTA tell your parents not to worry you will be out their lives for good as soon as you can. That they can finally be pleased they dont have to pretend you matter or act like they’ve ever wanted you or give in you any choice or say in anything. That they will no longer have to be upset they can’t completely ignore you and give their golden child without acting like you would ever be getting anything.

That they no longer need to act like they are supposed to love and care for you instead of golden Child being their only child they want. That as soon as you are legally allowed to move out at 18 you will never see them again. That your telling them now so they don’t act like they have no idea who the failed you your whole life nor why you left.

Set up a bank account your parents can’t get access to and keep all paperwork and passwords secret. If your in US and you need them then buy a safe or look into the costs of hiring a safety deposit box somewhere. Then make sure all your wages and documents are stored out of the house and safely away from them. Go looking when your parents are out for your birth certificate and ssn number and remove them without them knowing.

They are legally yours anyway and as soon as you’re an adult it’s illegal for them to withhold them from you. However many a**sive parents try to withhold them to stop their kids leaving and to make things difficult. That they might decide at some point that theh want you to pay rent or give sister some of your wages. That they’d rather you stay so she can keep getting the rent money or your wages they try and demand from you.

So make sure your wages never go into a joint account with your parents. That you have it safe in a different bank account or safety deposit box just somewhere it’s safe. Just so they can’t try and stop you later.

Sorry these are the parents you were born with and although you love them take it from someone who grew up exactly like this, they will never change. Even later in life they kept giving my siblings thousands especially golden child. I wouldn’t say anything but was told by them they were just getting their inheritance early.

They hadn’t even asked for it but apparently that’s what they were getting given year after year. No surprise when my parents passed my share of the inheritance had long been spent on golden child. Both my older siblings got their share over the years but of course golden child was then given mine when they had no more to give but wanted to.

They also tried to stop me moving out at 18 and then tried to insist I continue paying rent and keep when I no longer would be living there. At no point was my siblings charged rent or keep but i was forced to get a job to provide for myself as they only gave my siblings and not me. Then forced to give them 50 % of the little I could earn and they hid my adult siblings never once had to pay them.

When I left they lost their free maid and my income and they did not like that at all. Of course I told them no and moved hours away deliberately but they still did crap to try and force me back with them. It didn’t matter I was unwanted and seen as a burden for existing, it didn’t matter my gc sister always got my presents as well because she’s throw a fit.

When time came they decided they liked my money and free labour of doing all the household chores. Were I thought they’d celebrate I was gone. So please be careful and take measures. Save every penny you can to use to get out as soon as possible.

Ok_Childhood_9774 −  NTA, and I would just refuse to participate in any more family (and by this I mean little sister) activities. Make other plans, stay in your room, or just refuse to engage. If they protest, just tell them you’re ensuring their only child gets her way.

SerenityLunaMay −  NTA. I would start hiding your money. Make sure you have a bank account they can’t touch. My advice? Keep your mouth shut, and just bide your time. Keep your grades up to qualify for scholarships if you want to go to college.

If you don’t, then that nest egg of money should get you into a new place as soon as you hit 18. Lie and say you joined a club to work extra hours or say said club costs money so you don’t have any. Keep your head up, and these last couple of years will fly by.

celticmusebooks −  First PLEASE secure all of your financials and identity documents. Talk to the parents of your friend and ask them if they can help you to freeze your credit. Find a place you can hide your money to keep it safe– at your age in most places you would need a parent or another adult to be on an account with you. Make copies of your birth certificate and your social security card.

TALK to a counsellor at your school and ask for help finding money for college or training for a good job. Then just sit and wait until your turn 18. Stop buying your sister things and stop giving her any money. See if you can get on your friend’s parents phone plan and just pay them directly. Study hard and work to develop solid, marketable job skills.

When you leave, THANK your parents for the amazing gift of freedom they’ve given you. So many people have to worry about being financially secure so they can help their parents as they age but you are totally freed of any responsibility toward your parents and the entirety of that burden will fall to your sister.

DeathlyFandango −  NTA. Your parents sound like terrible people who probably shouldn’t have been allowed to reproduce. Stick to your guns, dig your heels in and channel the inner b**t. Become ungovernable. Do no favours and ask none in return.

HoosierBeaver −  Let me give you some advice. There’s a saying “Living well is the best revenge”. If I was you, I’d try and spend as much time as you can away from home (and your sister) as possible. Can you stay after school to study? Work more hours? I’d also meet with your school counselor about how to prepare for college.

They can help with applications, scholarships (because you know your parents will be saving for your sister, but tell you to figure it out yourself because you have a job). Find a college far enough away that you’re not expected to come home often. Study hard, get a good job, and when they come to you for help, tell them to ask your sister.

As for Christmas, save your money, and on Christmas Day, go to a movie theater and watch movies all day. Lots of films debut on Christmas Day. If they protest you not being home, because “family”, ask them why they would expect you to sit and watch everyone but you open gifts. And when they get old, and do t have anything saved for retirement because they’ve spent it all on supporting your sister, tell them to kick rocks.