AITA for snapping at my mom for telling people I’m gay?

A Reddit user (20M) recounts an awkward encounter with his mom after she wrongly assumed he is gay based on his close friendship with his best friend (20M). When his younger sister (14) asked him about “Greek god-like” features in a book, he casually described it as “muscular and handsome.” His mom later confronted him, interpreting his description and interactions with his friend as evidence of being gay.

Despite his denials, his mom admitted she had already told her friends he was gay and claimed she did so out of concern and a desire to get advice. The user snapped at her for making assumptions and sharing false information, especially since he has a crush on the daughter of one of those friends, which could lead to awkward situations. Read the full story below…

‘ AITA for snapping at my mom for telling people I’m gay?’

My(20m) sister(14) was reading a book yesterday when she asked me ‘What does a Greek god look like?’ I asked her why she is asking me that and she showed me a passage saying a guy has the features of a Greek god. So I told her ‘You know, muscular and handsome.’

I noticed my mom giving me a weird look and asked her if something’s wrong. She said ‘Nothing’. Later asked me if I like my best friend(20m) because he’s tall and muscular. I was taken aback. As it turns out, she had always assumed he and I are gay, which is not the case. I quickly told her we’re not gays but she didn’t believe me, saying the way we behave around each other leaves no other possible interpretation.

So I told her she should stop trying to interpret and see things that are not there. She said ‘Okay’ before telling me she told her friends that I am gay but haven’t come out to her yet, and that she was worried about me keeping it bottled up inside.

I snapped at her for it. I have nothing against gays but I don’t want them to think I’m one when I’m not since it’ll only lead to awkwardness. Not to mention one of them has a daughter I have a crush on and might ask out. She said she only told them because she was worried about me and wanted some advice on what to do.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

VixinXiviir −  the way we behave around each other leaves no other possible interpretation. Erm, unless you guys are playing a little phallus fencing, this is a wild statement. Overall NTA. I think the snapping was probably a little much, it does sound like she was genuinely worried and was trying to figure out how to help you, but coming up with random explanations for worries about issues that may or may not exist is a really, really bizarre behavior that it does sort of justify the loss of temper.

Ok_Historian_646 −  NTA!!!! Mom went way out of bounds with that! Not only should she NOT have confronted you, but she NEVER should have said anything to anyone else!

As a mom I am completely taken aback by her actions. If and when you are ready you need to sit her down and explain to her how this really effects you. Though you are not gay, if you were, it would be your choice to tell others. It would be up to you, OP, to decide the who’s and when’s. Being that she made a completely false assumption about your sexuality, and told others, MOM should feel like the ass!

AKlife420 −  So a male saying “muscular and handsome” makes them gay? I am not understanding her thought process. Regardless, NTA.

TogarSucks −  Oof. Growing up my mom was the kind of person where from basically kindergarten on if she so much as knew the name of a girl in my class she would tell everyone she encountered that I had a crush on them. Not exactly the same, but I recognize the smugness and their preference for their narrative over reality. To this day I still don’t discuss my dating life, or personal life much at all, with her because of that.. NTA.

wlfwrtr −  NTA Tell her she better clarify things with her friends. If she refuses, in front of her pull out your phone and pretend to make phone call saying, “Man I just realized my mom is in a gay relationship with her best friend. Yeah, I’m sure. They whisper and talk to each other so no one can hear.

They laugh at things that no one else understands. They touch each other’s arms. They go on dates. They meet at each other’s houses when no one else is there so they can have private time. Yeah, I’m sure they’re both gay.” Hang up and ask mom how it feels for people to think she’s gay now? Don’t tell her until later that it was a fake phone call.

Unable-Cellist-4277 −  F**k her hottest cougar friend, assert dominance.

robertstobe −  Just a quick note: “gay” is an adjective, not a noun. They’re not gays, they’re gay people. People who are gay.

Sea_Kiwi4956 −  Fellas, is it gay to *have a body*. nta, clearly.

lovescarats −  NTA, You are not obliged to share your preferences. And in this era we live in, I am not sure why mom would need support if you were gay. Truthfully, no one would care except for a few crazies. And hopefully you have none of that.

violetzoey −  NTA, but it’s “gay people” not “gays”.