AITA for snapping at my friend after he asked an inappropriate question about my short boyfriend?
A woman, 6โ1โ, has been dating her 5โ4โ boyfriend, Jake, for eight months and doesnโt care about their height difference. However, her friend Dave, who is 6โ4โ, repeatedly makes inappropriate jokes about Jake’s height.
After Dave asks an offensive question about their intimacy at a bar, she snaps and tells him his comments are disrespectful and cruel. Dave claims she overreacted, saying he was just trying to lighten the mood. Now, she’s questioning if her reaction was justified. Read the original story below…
‘ AITA for snapping at my friend after he asked an inappropriate question about my short boyfriend? ‘
Alright, hereโs the situation. I (28F) am 6โ1โ and Iโve been dating my boyfriend, Jake (30M), for about 8 months. Jake is 5โ4โ, which makes him quite a bit shorter than me, but honestly, I donโt care. Heโs sweet, funny, and we have an amazing connection.
Iโve never been hung up on height, but my friend Dave (29M), who is 6โ4โ, seems to have a problem with it. At first, Dave made the usual jokes like, โDo you have to bend down to kiss him?โ or โDoes he need a booster seat when you go out to eat?โ I rolled my eyes, but I brushed it off because I thought it was just playful teasing.
But as time went on, Daveโs comments got more frequent and increasingly inappropriate. One night, we were all hanging out at a party, and out of nowhere, Dave asked me, โSo, do you ever feel like a giant? Is Jake your personal little action figure?โ Everyone stopped talking, and I could feel Jake tense up next to me.
He laughed it off, but I could tell it bothered him. I was furious but didnโt say anything at the time. A week later, we were out for drinks with a larger group, and Jake and I were having a great timeโuntil Dave decided to open his mouth again.
He leaned over and, with a smirk, said, โHey, how do you two handle things in the bedroom? Does he have to stand on a stool to get to the good stuff?โ
I felt my blood boil. This was not the first time heโd made inappropriate comments, but this one crossed the line.
I turned to him and snapped, โWhat the hell is wrong with you? Thatโs completely disrespectful, and itโs not funny!โ Dave looked taken aback, and I continued, โYou act like this is some kind of joke, but itโs just cruel. Jake is a great guy, and your comments make you sound like an insecure j**k.โ
The table went silent, and Jake looked a bit shocked, but I could tell he appreciated me standing up for him. Afterward, Dave texted me saying I overreacted and that I embarrassed him in front of our friends. He claimed I was making a big deal out of nothing and that he was just trying to lighten the mood.
Some of our mutual friends think I could have handled it better, but others agree that Dave had it coming. So, AITA for snapping at my friend after he asked an inappropriate question about my short boyfriend?
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
forever_single_nowย โย NTA. Just out of curiosity, you sure he is not into you? His โjokesโ might just be an expression of his frustration that a โshorterโ guy was able to get what he couldnโt. Itโs not that usual for guys to focus that much in hight. Thatโs why I ask.
Careful-Working4787ย โย Youโre definitely **NTA** for snapping at Dave. He was being disrespectful, and his โjokesโ were crossing the line into hurtful territory, especially since heโd been repeatedly making comments about Jakeโs height.
You tried to let it slide initially, but thereโs only so much teasing someone can take before it becomes a pattern of disrespect. Jake didnโt deserve to be ridiculed, and neither did you. Standing up for him (and yourself) was the right thing to do.
Dave shouldโve realized his comments were inappropriate, especially after you made it clear they werenโt funny. It sounds like he was the one who embarrassed himself by behaving like a j**k, and itโs not on you to protect his feelings when he was being hurtful.
If anything, Dave should apologize to both you and Jake for being so insensitive. You didnโt overreactโyou stood up for your relationship and set a clear boundary. Keep your head up!
Blazervitchย โย I think Dave is jealous as he wants to be with you, so is trying to make you self conscious about being with Jake and hopefully leave him.
BlueGreen_1956ย โย NTA. Dave is a j**k. Jerks hate being called out.
Roxxana_Aimieย โย NTA (Not the A-hole). Dave’s “jokes” were way out of line, disrespectful to both you and your boyfriend, and frankly, just plain rude. You were right to defend your boyfriend and call out Dave’s inappropriate behavior.
prettyyypeacockย โย No, you’re not the a**hole. Daveโs comments were disrespectful and crossing boundaries. Itโs important to stand up for your partner when theyโre being disrespected, especially in public.
Cute_Beat7013ย โย NTA โ I would have said fewer โ but much harsher โ words in your place, namely among the lines of asking Dave whether itโs his tragically disproportionate anatomy that makes him harp on Jakeโs height.
EmptyPomegraneteย โย NTA. He is insecure and insulting you about it because he does not believe himself to be valuable outside of his own height- hence he cannot understand why a shorter man would have value for a woman. So he is insulting your bf in order to repair his damaged ego.
0hShaShaย โย NTA , Dave wouldn’t even feel like he ever did something wrong, if you didn’t mention it to him.. That’s not over reacting that is, the appropriate reaction for his behaviour. He has already crossed the lines many times. And if he was so worried about being embarrassed in front of his friends he shouldn’t have done something that would have made him embarrassed.
Alarming-Specific-89ย โย F**K YOU DAVE!!
Was her reaction too harsh, or did Dave cross a line? What do you think? Share your thoughts below!