AITA for silently getting up and walking out of the restaurant during NYE dinner after I was told to pay for everyone at the table (my inlaws)?

A Reddit user shared their story about walking out of a New Year’s Eve dinner with their in-laws after being pressured to pay for the entire table because of an inheritance they recently received. After silently paying for only their own meal, the OP left the restaurant, leaving their husband and his family furious. Now facing accusations of being ungracious and causing family tension, OP wonders if they went too far. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for silently getting up and walking out of the restaurant during NYE dinner after I was told to pay for everyone at the table (my inlaws)?’

I f32 recently inherited a good amount of money from my mom. I keep the money in a seperate account as I still haven’t decided what to do with it and I didn’t want it to go to waste.

I noticed my husband constantly bringing up the inheritance money and making countless suggestions as to how I should spend it. Another thing is that he expects me pay for nearly everything the past couple of weeks.

For NYE, My husband and I met up with his family at a restaurant to celebrate. It was going fine until I found out that I was expected to pay for everyone at the table. My husband’s mom joked about paying for dinner out of my ” inheritance pocket” which made me livid but I showed no reaction.

Just silently paid for my own food/drinks. Then got up and made my way out of the restaurant. They were shouting after me like a crowd and my husband tried to get me to come back but I drove home.

He got back at 3 a.m yeling at me saying I was pathetic to get up and walk out on him and his family after they *relied* on me to pay for their food and thougt I was gracious enough to do it BUT they were wrong.

He said I humiliated him and family and that what I did was an attempt to get back at them for not being able to help mom when she was sick. Not true is all I’m gonna say. He is mad and is saying that I caused a huge rift between his family and me when it wouldn’t have hurt me to pay for the celebratory dinner.. AITA?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

RichSignal7022 −  So let me get this straight. Your mother died after an illness and the thing your in-laws take from this is “great, now she can pay for everything”.. Yeah, NTA

ElectronicRub1716 −  NTA. But please see a lawyer asap. After this trick your husband is likely to divorce you to go after your inheritance; make sure your affairs are legally airtight so he can’t touch it.

FLmom_Report4590 −  NTA. No one ever has the right to expect someone else to pick up the tab, especially if it wasn’t agreed to up front.. This causes two problems…

1. Let’s say for argument sake that you WANTED to treat. But their expectation/demand of you treating literally robs you of the joy of picking up the tab. No likes being forced.

2. Say you begrudgingly just paid. Now you’re setting a precedent of constantly being used and they will expect you to be the family piggy bank. Your inheritance is no one’s business. You don’t owe anyone anything. Your husband and in laws are shameful.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. It is time to speak to a good lawyer and get that money into some type of trust that he cannot touch in the event of divorce. Simply having it in a separate bank account is not sufficient to protect it in a divorce settlement.

His behavior is not healthy or supportive and it seems like he and his family seem entitled to your inheritance. This is not a good situation. I hope you can work through this but still protect your money just in case.

majesticgoatsparkles −  NTA and OMFG your husband and ILs are such AHs.

– Inheritance is not your husband’s. Full stop. He is an AH for trying to get so involved in how you spend it.

– Inheritance is certainly not your IL’s. Full stop. They should keep their mouths SHUT.

– You are grieving and only have an inheritance because your mother died. I bet you would gladly give the money back if it meant having your mom back.

– When you are grieving, anyone acting remotely excited about spending your inheritance basically risks coming across as a heartless AH. “Hooray, we have money to spend because your loved one died! Yay for me!” They are all insensitive AHs for acting like this.

– Who RELIES on someone else to pay for anything (from inheritance or other money) without that being agreed upon beforehand? Either they are ridiculously entitled, or your husband told them you would so they expected it . . . or possibly both. AHs all around.

I think you handled this very well. You could have caused a scene. Instead you quietly left. Contact a lawyer and make sure your inheritance (and other assets) are protected from your husband. And consider whether this is a relationship shop worth keeping. EDIT TO ADD: And I am very sorry for your loss.

[Reddit User] −  My condolences, OP for the loss of your mother and having an a**hole for a husband.. NTA.

Glitter_Voldemort −  NTA. Your husband and in-laws are attempting to capitalize on your *mother’s d**th*. Keep the inheritance. Ditch the people who think you’re a walking ATM.

SageGreen98 −  NTA Their expectations are what caused the problem. For some reason they’re somehow feeling entitled to YOUR inheritance. That is weird, unless you have discussed it with either hubby or in-laws, which it doesn’t sound like you did.

The family was wrong to place blame on anyone other than the people who felt entitled to your inheritance. Maybe take a little bit of your money and spend a weekend alone in a nice hotel near the beach, lake, mountains, wherever you feel comfortable and do some soul searching.

I personally would not want to continue associating with people who feel entitled and then blame you for their own erroneous expectations. But, that is just me. Also, read this free ebook, you may be surprised by what you learn.

exlibris1214 −  Don’t combine your inheritance $$$ in a shared account with your spouse. Keep it separate so it remains your sole asset. This is so insensitive of your husband-like dancing on your mother’s grave. You are NTA. But your husband is 🚩🚩🚩

Kmia55 −  They act like you won the lottery and not buried your mother. I’m sorry for your loss.

Was the OP justified in setting boundaries, or should they have handled the situation differently? Is it fair for family to expect financial contributions from an inheritance? Share your thoughts below!