AITA for “shutting down my living room”?

A Reddit user, a 22-year-old stay-at-home mom, has recently had her mother visit her family for a week. The user has simple rules for her home, including no shoes on the rug, no eating in the living room, and shutting down the living room at night after she cleans it.

When she found a red sauce stain on her new rug and a cup ring on the coffee table the next morning, she confronted her mother, who dismissed the issue. The situation escalated, and the user asked her mother to leave. Now her aunt is calling her unreasonable, and the user is questioning if she overreacted. Read the full story below…

‘ AITA for “shutting down my living room”? ‘

I (22f) am a married (27M) sahm with a 15mo daughter. Recently my family came to visit us for a week. My mom (41) is staying in our spare bedroom. My Aunt&Uncle came with their kids as well, but they are staying in a hotel. I told my mom that I have rules about my home, pretty simple rules, nothing over the top.

No shoes on the rug, don’t eat food in the living room (drinks and snacks are fine), put your dish in the dishwasher when done, and once I go to bed the living room is shut down. By shut down I mean- do not go in it. I clean my living room before bed. Vacuum the floors, fix and vacuum the cushions, wipe down the coffee tables, ect.

Anyways- I go out to the living room in the morning and there is a cup ring on my coffee table (I HAVE COASTERS) , the cushions are messed up, and a red sauce stain on my rug. I was livid. Mainly of the sauce stain on the rug.

The rug is literally brand new, and a light beige color.I waited until my mom woke up and confronted her about the living room. She told me I was being over dramatic, the stain will come out, the rule is stupid, blah blah blah. Long story short, I told her my house, my rules and if she couldn’t go by my rules she needed to leave.

So, she left and went to my aunts hotel. My aunt is blowing up my phone telling me that I am being unreasonable and they paid all the money to come see us. I told her I wasn’t being unreasonable, I have very simple rules and I just wanted to be respected in my own home.

Am I the AH? The stain won’t come out and I am extremely disappointed. I tried to move the rug around and have the coffee table cover it, but where it’s at there’s no way to hide it.

EDIT- never did I tell her she couldn’t exit her bedroom. I have a kitchen island that has seats and a dining room where she could have eaten- plus the bedroom she was in has a tv and a couch. Also- it takes long to clean my living room because I go through the cushions to find snacks my daughter may have dropped throughout the day.

My daughter is in the stage where she puts everything in her mouth- no matter what it is and I do not want her to eat old food. She also hides her cup which normally has milk in it. Where I live mice and pests are EXTREMELY common, the last thing I’d want is mice or roaches in my home because of loose food.

Edit 2- The rule is not permanent! It is just until my daughter grows out of the stage of putting everything in her mouth. Also- my mom and I have never had a great relationship, so my going off the way I did is probably just pelt up emotions towards her. I have people over all the time and people commonly spend the night (mostly like a week at a time) and we’ve never had a problem, because my whole home is open to them.

I just ask they don’t use the living room until morning, since my daughter will make a mess of it anyways. As I’ve stated in the comments- I do not pickup throughout the day and I know children are messy. If something drops on the rug I immediately clean it, it’s no big deal.

The problem is- she left a red sauce stain on my beige carpet ALL night. I wouldn’t have cared if it wasn’t for the stain and the coaster ring. My mom isn’t and never has been a tidy person, but I always have been and did most of the cleaning growing up.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Cael_NaMaor −  Hahaha….
You sound like the roles reversed. I mean, this literally sounds like your Mom arguing with a teenage you.

LyaTheNox42 −  NTA, but also you spend an hour cleaning one room every night? Are you OK?

KateWritesBooks −  ESH. I get boundaries and support them but this is a living room and you have company. Not everyone sleeps soundly, especially in a different environment so expecting a person to be a prisoner in their bedroom after hours is a bit much. However, your mom showed great disrespect for your home if she managed to damage carpet and furniture and blow it off with a “it’ll come out” excuse.

That is the height of rudeness. Mom should pay to fix the damage and any future visits should see her in a hotel. I don’t like your rules but do agree, your house, your rules. I’d never stay at your place and wouldn’t likely visit. You’re creating an uptight environment I wouldn’t want to endure.

amp7274 −  I think closing your living room is bizarre and rude. So is eating actual food. Honestly cleaning any room for an hour daily is over the top. I’d chose not to stay with you if I found out you closed communal parts of your home bc I’d assume you didn’t want guests.

grckalck −  Given those kind of strict (IMHO) rules, I would have chosen not to stay at your house and gone to a hotel so I could relax. Because that is what civilized people do. Either respect the rules or stay somewhere else. Since you were clear in advance, you are NTA. Leaving a red stain on a beige carpet overnight is nearly unforgivable.

Transmit_Him −  “The stain will come out”
“Well go on then, get it out”, seems like the only reasonable response to that.. NTA

Unlucky-Pizza-7049 −  NTA. And the rule about your frontroom is perfectly valid. I’m the same with my kitchen. Everything is cleaned, put away, tidied and sorted so when I wake up I wake up to a clean kitchen. Have a snack, sure. Make a drink, whatever. But don’t you go cooking or leaving cups around. The kitchen is closed

barbaras_bush_ −  NTA but it’s pretty funny you just bought a beige rug with a *15 month old* at home.

kalixanthippe −  So, I think it’s important someone says this: You get to choose how to live your life and clean your home how it works for you and yours.
You didn’t ask if you were TA for cleaning or for your rules. You could have a rule that you do the hokey pokey prior to entering each room and if it works for you and your household, yay!

You communicated clearly, you gave you mother the ability to have all the comforts she needed/wanted without crossing the boundaries set.
You are NTA for saying that if she could not act as a guest or part of the household, she can stay elsewhere.

Tam2lano3 −  NTA. Your mom should’ve understood that. It’s not unreasonable to want to keep your space clean, especially when you have a toddler.

Do you think the user was justified in asking her mother to leave after violating her home rules, or did she overreact, especially considering their strained relationship? How would you handle a situation where your family disrespects your boundaries in your own home? Share your thoughts below!