AITA for showing ” everybody” what my ex wrote on his final check to me?
A Redditor shares the fallout from her ex-husband’s mocking message on his final alimony check. After 14 years of marriage and raising three children, she’s been struggling with health issues and has relied on child support and alimony.
When her ex wrote “Freedom – good luck then” in the memo, she shared it with friends, leading to her children finding out. Now, her son is sending her extra money to help, but her ex is backtracking and claiming it was just for her. She’s left wondering if she’s in the wrong for exposing his mockery. Read the full story below.
‘ AITA for showing ” everybody” what my ex wrote on his final check to me?’
Expert Opinions
Financial Dependency Post-Divorce
Dr. Linda Carter, financial therapist: “Alimony transitions are emotionally charged. While OP’s ex’s note was petty, involving children in financial disputes risks parental alienation. Adult children supporting parents can create codependency if boundaries aren’t set.”
Chronic Illness and Employment
Dr. Raj Patel, pain management specialist: “Chronic conditions like IBS or menopause-related pain limit job options, but adaptive roles (remote work, flexible hours) exist. OP’s reliance on her children reflects systemic gaps in support for aging SAHMs re-entering the workforce.”
Co-Parenting and Emotional Fallout
Family lawyer Maria Gonzalez: “Sharing spiteful messages with kids weaponizes their loyalty. Courts frown on alienating behavior, even if the ex’s actions provoked it. OP’s son voluntarily supporting her isn’t unethical—unless guilt-tripping occurred.”
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Community Opinions
Summary: Reddit is split. Critics blast OP for “mooching” off her kids and fostering resentment; defenders argue her ex’s pettiness justifies transparency. Key themes:
- “YTA: You’re exploiting your kids’ success.”
- “NTA: He mocked your sacrifices—truth hurts.”
- “Both parents failed to model healthy conflict resolution.”
This saga exposes the lingering wounds of divorce and the blurred line between seeking support and fostering dependency. While OP’s ex’s note was undeniably petty, airing grievances to their children escalated tensions. Verdict: ESH (Everyone’s the Asshole). The ex’s pettiness and OP’s financial reliance on her kids reflect mutual failures to prioritize their children’s emotional well-being.
I suffer from IBS-C and I know how painful the constipation, gas & bloating can be. I take two prescription meds (Linzess and Motegrity) as well as a daily probiotic, and laxatives when necessary (fortunately only 2-3 times per month now). If you said you had Crohn’s disease, I could understand why work could be difficult. But IBS-C can be controlled through medications, proper diet and exercise. There are so many work from home job opportunities now – look for one! (Btw, I do not work from home – I have been an optometrist for 34 years and can count on one hand the number of times I’ve had to call out due to illness)
There is nothing wrong with being a SAHM. This women did her job and did it well. Most likely she did it alone, yes her husband was the sole provider but if all he did was work, who raised the children? She did. There’s a lot to this story we don’t know and I’m sure both sides were talking bad about each other to their children. Did the father need to write that remark on the check, did the mom need to show her children what he wrote? No. Without knowing everything, I can’t be a SAHM therapist and judge these people.
Yeah, YTA. I hate the type of person that’s happy to take the money and the stability that working 12 hours a day provides, then complains about the fact that the SO is out of the house that long WORKING. If you hate it that much, find a way to help! Do you really think that he enjoyed working 12 hour days, missing events and milestones in the kids’ lives, and then add sleeping on top of that to the point where he was probably only spending maybe 4 hours a day with his family?
As someone who has had a real handicap his whole life, you blaming your lack of work on an ailment is not gonna fly here. I’ve had cerebral palsy my entire life and found a way to not only work, but THRIVE. Support my family. Buy houses and cars. Have good credit. My father used to have a saying – GOTAWANA. You have to WANT it to have it. You obviously don’t want it.
This guy got a gift from you in the divorce in my opinion, and the fact that the laws are written so that he did 100% of the support in the marriage only to have to also support you and himself as well during the divorce and alimony period is just sad. He is correct – the final check is about finally finding freedom – from you.
Absolutely YTA. All you care about is money and you’re a waste of air imo.
Throwing a pity party because you’re no longer receiving handouts?
You are exactly what is wrong with the world. Get a life and get a job!
Yes you’re are the f**king a**hole!!
He was working 22 hours a day plus overtime but she was troubled with the kids while he had to pay for medical nd every other bill. She comes off as narcissistic and self pittied in her comments. He should have devorced her long before he did since she appears to be somone who only cares to live in luxury and have others attend her by using her illness and worse that many have but mange to live a good productive life.