AITA for shaming my sister for being pregnant and refusing to help her at all with any expenses ?

A woman (24F) discovered that her twin sister Ashley is pregnant by her boyfriend Jared (32M), who has children from a previous relationship but doesn’t support them. The situation came to light when Jared’s ex confronted the twin at a grocery store, mistaking her for Ashley and accusing her of harassing her online.

When she later confronted Ashley, her sister admitted she hid Jared’s deadbeat behavior, knowing it would cause judgment. When Ashley and Jared announced the pregnancy, the twin couldn’t contain her disgust, calling Jared a deadbeat and telling Ashley she should be ashamed for having a child with him.

Now, Ashley is demanding an apology, threatening to cut her off if she doesn’t comply. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for shaming my sister for being pregnant and refusing to help her at all with any expenses ?’

AITA? I (24F) have a twin sister “Ashley” and we’ve always been close. She started dating this guy a year ago “Jared” (32M). I never really liked him but my sister was head over heels in love with him and said she wanted to marry him.

This summer I was at the grocery store when a woman with three kids came up to me in the aisle and asked if I was Ashley. I said no and was about to say we’re twins when she cut me off and said “Yes you are.

You’re dating my deadbeat baby daddy and want to stalk my pages leaving hate messages saying he chose you over us and to move on. How heartless are you”? I was like WTF I am NOT Ashley,I’m her twin sister “Blaire” and asked if she was talking about Jared.

She said yes, and showed me the screenshots of my sister DMing her saying Jared  is now hers, he doesn’t claim those kids, blah blah. I was very uncomfortable but I knew in my gut he was a weirdo. I was so shocked my sister would date a deadbeat and proudly knowing how our father being a deadbeat sent us both to therapy.

I just walked away. A few days later I asked my sister and she denied it at first then admitted it saying she didn’t tell me he has kids since I personally don’t date men with kids and she didn’t want me to judge her. I told her I was judging the fact that he’s a DEADBEAT, not a father. We argued about it a lot and I’ve looked at her differently since.

Anyways this week she invites me over and her and Jared tell me she’s pregnant and are both so happy. I just sit there silently and kept eating. She asked why I was acting like a b**ch and why aren’t I happy to be an aunt and I said because of and gestures towards Jared.

He got mad and said “What’s your problem with me” and I said because you’re a deadbeat. They both got quiet and he said “That doesn’t mean I’ll be one for this kid”… at that point I laughed and got up to leave.

I’m in the hallway on the way to the elevator when my sister comes running behind me and keeps asking why I’m being so rude while she’s sobbing. I told her thatshe should be ashamed to be pregnant by a guy that abandoned his other kids knowing that happened to us and that she’s disgusting and a l**er and he’s gonna leave her like he did did his ex.

She said I don’t know the full story and she can’t believe I would be not supportive in this time of her life and the baby has half my DNA too. I felt bad and said I would try to be there for her but she’ll realize what a mistake she made then I left.

Now she’s texting me saying she wants to be come back and apologize to Jared and I refused and she said that she doesn’t want to speak to me if I don’t apologize to them. AITA?

Lets dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Brainjacker −  INFO: when did your sister ask you to help with her expenses? That’s the question in your title but there isn’t anything about it in the post.

Ok_Play2364 −  Your sister is no better than her deadbeat baby daddy. Harassing a poor woman with 2 kids. 

Great-Broccoli41 −  NTA. Some people have to learn hard lessons on their own.  You did what you could; now she has to live with the consequences.  I get that by being a twin, it might be harder to stand by and watch.  However, you gave her the proverbial kick in the b**t…it’s all on her now. 

Who knows, we may all be surprised by the outcome but be prepared when she starts her apology tour.

Bake_and_Shark −  NTA. But what no one’s even mentioning is how the sister treated the other woman on top of everything else! She’s stalking the other woman, sending hate messages and telling her how he’s her man now!

What a complete s**tty human being her sister is, knowing that she’s screwing over innocent children (not that this guy isn’t a deadbeat.) And then she defends this parasite but has the nerve to ask her sister for money?! The audacity is mind boggling.

Personally I would have nothing to do with her. Fffs, her sister thinks OP owes this deadbeat l**er an apology!

eowynsheiress −  NTA. Your encounter with his family told you what you needed to know about a guy who already gave you the ick. Your sister is very foolish and capable of being cruel. I would encourage you to let go of your anger over her poor decisions and get ready ti support her in the long run.

I know you will want to be there for your future niece/nephew. So give yourself time to grieve and be angry. And then move on. Hopefully you can still be there for your sister and future nibling. Best wishes.

wta1999 −  NTA. This is just like kids of alcoholics, they either hate drinking or grow up and become an a**oholic themselves. Unfortunately your sister is morally bankrupt just like your dad. Bad enough to take up with a deadbeat but to harass his abandoned partner is unforgivable.

You’re right to be disgusted with her. I’m sure you’ll get an opportunity to know her kid (if you want to) once her baby daddy takes off and she needs help.

PumpkinPowerful3292 −  NTA – Jared is a cheating deadbeat. You are just speaking the truth. But I would look at this as a bessing in disguise.Just told you that unless you apologize to Larry The Lounge Lizard, she’ll never speak to you and I suppose that goes double for Jared.

Think about it, you’ll never have to sit and listen to their crap anymore. Think how much peace you will. And then immediately tell your sister, Ashley, “DEAL!’

Choice_Bid_7941 −  NTA but please tell me you remed Ashley for harassing that poor mother

Only_Music_2640 −  I love the whole “Sure I’m a deadbeat with my ex and my other kids but I won’t be with this one!” As if…..

Laines_Ecossaises −  NTA.So you seem to call out your sister a lot for dating a deadbeat but not for her awful behavior to this other woman. Seems like her and her bf deserve each other. Sorry to say but I would go LC, let her know you will be there when it all blows up but for now you can’t witness it.

Should the twin sister stand her ground, or is she being too harsh during what should be a joyful moment for Ashley? Does the sister’s reaction reflect deep concerns or unfair judgment? What’s your take? Share your thoughts in the comments!