AITA for serving vegan food at the BBQ I hosted? My family won’t talk to me anymore and I’m mortified.

A Redditor (20F) hosted a BBQ at her new apartment and served vegan food, as she has been vegan since she was 15. Despite everyone enjoying the meal, when her uncle discovered the burgers were made with vegan cheese, he and other relatives became furious.

They accused her of “forcing them to be vegan without their consent,” even though she didn’t pressure anyone to eat the food. Now, her family is refusing to speak to her, and they’ve even threatened to exclude her from Thanksgiving unless she eats meat again.

The Redditor is mortified and unsure if she did something wrong. Read the full story below to learn more about how this family drama unfolded and whether the Redditor’s actions were truly out of line.

‘ AITA for serving vegan food at the BBQ I hosted? My family won’t talk to me anymore and I’m mortified.’

A week ago I had a barbecue at my new apartment. I have always wanted to host something when I got my own place, I’ve always loved family parties. I grilled burgers, made pasta salad, fries, and a cake.

Everyone had a good time, said they enjoyed the food, but after dinner my uncle asked me what cheese was on the burgers since he thought it tasted weird, I said it was vegan cheese and that everything I made was vegan, and he blew up at me, my grandparents following in suit.

They left after. I cried while everyone scolded me. My sister stayed and helped me clean and stuff, which made me feel better. Everyone already knew I am vegan, I have been since I was 15. My parents were reluctant but ultimately let me buy and cook myself vegan dishes.

My extended family never left me alone about it at get togethers like Christmas and Thanksgiving. And I had to bring my own food cuz they weren’t willing to accommodate me, which I was okay with since it was fine bringing my own stuff. I was there for family, not food.

A year ago when I went to my grandparents house and my grandpa said he was making burgers but that he got me some vegan burgers but after I took a bite and told him it was great, he told me it was actually meat and that I was silly for acting like I don’t like meat.

He also said that I was defying God for not eating meat since “God put the animals on the earth for people to eat” and that I could go to hell for it. I cried in the bathroom until my parents forced me to come out and apologize to everyone for ruining everyone’s time.

I never meant to make them feel the same way I felt when they fed me meat without my knowledge, but I assumed they knew everything would be vegan since I’ve been vegan for many years now and it’s never been a secret that all the food I buy is vegan.

They won’t talk to me anymore since I “Forced them to be vegan without their consent” even though I never forced anyone anything and they all enjoyed what I made. I’m at a loss and my sister said that they are not letting me go to thanksgiving over this.

I apologized but they don’t seem to care or accept it. They said that they don’t want to see me until I eat meat again… Hi guys I’m making an edit cuz I woke up to a lot of responses and wanted you all to know I appreciate it and read them all, I’ll try to reply soon.

I edited out a detail about my autism because people in the comments were saying mean things about people with autism and that needs to stop! Another edit, no one in my family have allergies so I didn’t think I needed to share the ingredients with everyone.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Prodigal_Lemon −  NTA. If I visited a vegan, I would assume that they would serve vegan food. You didn’t do anything wrong.  Also (in case you are really worried about your grandfather threatening you with hell),

the Apostle Paul literally wrote in the Bible that some people eat meat, and others eat only vegetables, and neither should despise the other. (Romans 14)

BasicRabbit4 −  Nta, Your grandfather is an i**ot. You didn’t force him to be vegan against his consent. Non vegans can and do eat vegetables all the time without dying (actually the ones who don’t would get scurvy and die). You are an established vegan, common sense would be that you will be serving vegan food.

DrTeethPhD −  NTA. If the family knew you were vegan, they must be a special kind of stupid and/or entitled to think you would serve non-vegan food. You didn’t serve food that was spoiled or would harm them, you just served something different from what they were expecting.. Too bad for them.

New-Reference-2171 −  NTA. Your sister is awesome for supporting you. It is good that you are out on your own. Clearly your family is not on your side. Best you just steer clear of extended family if they can’t appreciate you.. Granddad on other hand is an ass.

DesperateLobster69 −  NTA your family is horrible & a**sive. Stop forcing yourself to deal with them!!

lapsteelguitar −  JFC. You served them a vegan meal, not r** poison. And what did they expect you to serve, knowing that you were vegan? Provided you were conscious of peoples allergies, which I assume you were…. JFC. Your family needs to grow up. NTA. No way, no how. And I’m an omnivore.

Affectionate-Draw840 −  Why do I feel like I just saw this same post in another thread, but it was a wedding…

Lilybit09 −  Your family are real assholes. Sister is awesome!! You definitely wont be going to hell. NTA

Hangry_Games −  To me, this reads like AI rage bait.

OpinionatedPoster −  Hold on a second: they made you eat meat without your consent. How was that ok? You had to apologize for that too? Your family just thinks that they are too perfect. Do not fall into this hole.

Animals are just like us, have a life and would like to live it, God did not create them for the purpose of being on the menu. What was the cannibals excuse then? You are totally within your right to choose what you eat and what you don’t eat.

They were not forced to eat vegan food which they would have known if they took you seriously that you are a vegan. It is not a phase, it is a lifestyle. Do not even with about Thanksgiving. Could it be that they were just looking for an excuse to drop you from the family events?

I hope not but we’ve raised an autistic child and when we’ve found out the diagnosis, all of a sudden we barely had any friends left. Good luck to you and do not ever give up your views and lifestyle. They are great and they are yours.

Do you think the Redditor was wrong to serve vegan food at her BBQ, or were her family members being unreasonable? Should she have made it clear beforehand that all the food would be vegan, or were they too harsh in their reaction? Share your thoughts in the comments below!