AITA for serving only vegan food at my wedding without telling anyone, then getting upset when my family ordered 20 pizzas during the reception?

A Redditor recounted their wedding day drama after serving an all-vegan gourmet menu without informing their guests. While the couple worked with a chef to craft a luxurious, plant-based 5-course meal, some family members took offense, claiming they weren’t properly informed.

This escalated when the bride’s brother and cousins brought 20 large pizzas to the reception, calling it “real food.” Now, the bride is left wondering if she was wrong for not disclosing the vegan menu beforehand and being upset about the disruption. Read the full story below…

‘ AITA for serving only vegan food at my wedding without telling anyone, then getting upset when my family ordered 20 pizzas during the reception?’

I (28F) just had my wedding last weekend. My husband (30M) and I have been vegan for 3 years, and we decided to have an all-vegan reception dinner. We spent months working with an amazing chef to create a gourmet 5-course meal that just happened to be vegan – think mushroom wellington, truffle risotto, roasted vegetable tarts, etc. We spent nearly $15,000 on the food alone.

We deliberately didn’t mention the food was vegan on the invitations because we wanted people to enjoy it without prejudice. Every dish was designed to be delicious and satisfying, regardless of dietary preference.

The ceremony was beautiful, but during the reception, I noticed my brother Tom (32M) wasn’t at his table. Twenty minutes later, I watched in horror as he and my cousins walked in carrying 20 large pizzas. They started distributing them to guests, announcing “Real food for anyone who wants it!”

I was mortified. The caterers looked so embarrassed, and several guests hadn’t even tried our carefully planned menu yet. When I confronted Tom, he said my aunt had texted him that “all the food is just vegetables” and they “couldn’t let people go hungry at a wedding.”

The pizza completely upstaged our expensive gourmet meal. People were taking photos and treating it like a joke. My mother-in-law posted on Facebook about how her son’s wedding was “saved by pizza” because the bride tried to “force everyone to eat rabbit food.”

I ended up crying in the bathroom, and my husband asked Tom and the cousins to leave. This caused a scene, and now half the family is calling us stuck-up and saying we ruined our own wedding by “pushing our beliefs” on everyone. They’re saying we should have warned people about the vegan menu. AITA for not announcing the menu was vegan, and then getting upset about the pizza?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

AlwaysHelpful22 −  Be honest, you didn’t tell anyone about the menu because you knew they wouldn’t like it/come if you did. This doesn’t make you an AH, but people could have eaten beforehand if they knew the menus weren’t to their liking.

Chay_Charles −  $15,000 on food at a wedding?! What a waste of money.

shammy_dammy −  “Deliberately did not mention the food was vegan.” Good job there.

MrMakarov −  ESH. I mean ordering pizzas was out of line but you hid it on purpose knowing people wouldn’t like the idea of it. Yes it’s your special day but being deceptive doesn’t help anyone.

Goidelica −  ESH. Listen, I’m a vegan, but this is classic self-righteous noob vegan b**lshit that you tried to pull. I wouldn’t eat most of that rancid s**t you served. When you’re catering to a crowd you actually have to cater *to them.* You don’t treat it like some kind of gastronomic lecture. It was a d**k move of your brother to do that, but I am not surprised at all.
Edit: I’ll just point out that it sounds like people were pretty f**king delighted to see the pizza. Am I wrong?

RenaH80 −  ESH. Honestly, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to serve a vegan meal at your wedding, but you didn’t disclose that because you KNEW folks were going to have responses to it. A heads up would have been the right move here. The bringing pizzas was also an AH move, but no one was right.

I’m an omnivore and eat tons of fruits and veggies, but I can’t eat high fiber veggies or mushrooms. I’m allergic to soy. I hate coconut milk. Often times the swaps people make to make food vegan dont work for me. Idk what I would eat at your wedding.. when folks have Omni menus I can usually eat at least the meat or fish proteins and veggies. Knowing means I can eat before I go and bring some sneaky snacks in my handbag.

lookingformiles −  Such a clever move to keep it a secret. How did that work out for you? Total d**k move by Tom and The Cousins tho.. ESH.

I_Am_AWESOME-O_ −  How do you make risotto sublime without the butter and cheese?

fidelesetaudax −  I am sorry your day was ruined. But your planning was so self involved and short sighted that was almost bound to happen. Every dish was NOT designed to be delicious and satisfying regardless of dietary preference. The food was designed to be delicious and satisfying to vegans. And most attendees apparently did not share that dietary preference.

Why did the pizza “upstage” the vegan meal?How much of the pizza was eaten? Did others object to it being there? Or did many guests agree that the reception was saved by the pizza? If I was there I’d have been thrilled to see the pizza delivered. Again I’m sorry your day was ruined but yes YTA for not at least warning people that the dinner menu was going to be so limited.

Glittering_Search_41 −  Carnivore here. I absolutely do not need to be “warned” that a meal I’m invited to doesn’t contain meat. I’ll try whatever food is on offer. Sometimes people give me food I don’t care for. That’s fine. I appreciate the hospitality. I’ll live through a meal I wouldn’t have chosen.