AITA for sending a Venmo request to my roommate’s girlfriend?

A Reddit user shared a frustrating encounter with their roommate’s girlfriend, Hannah, in their new, cramped apartment. The user had been spending time in the shared kitchen while their roommate, Eric, was taking a shower. When Hannah came out to chat, she asked the user to spend more time in their room while she was over, in order to respect her privacy.

The user, feeling like he was being reasonable and respectful by not eavesdropping, responded with a snarky Venmo request for $2300—demanding that she pay his share of the rent if she wanted him to stay out of the kitchen.

This led to a conflict between the roommates, with Eric asking the user to be more diplomatic in the future, though he backed him up on the situation. Read the full story below to see how the situation unfolded and decide who’s in the right.

‘ AITA for sending a Venmo request to my roommate’s girlfriend?’

My roommate Eric (23M) and I (24M) recently moved to a new apartment. Our old one was spacious and the bedrooms were on opposite sides of the apartment so we couldn’t really hear each other without yelling. Our new apartment is much smaller – the bedrooms and kitchen are all right next to each other.

We can clearly hear each other from our respective bedrooms when talking at a normal volume. Both of our gfs hate this. This isn’t a big problem for me since my gf lives alone and we normally hang out at hers. It is for my roommate’s gf, Hannah (22F). She has three roommates at her own cramped apartment and spends a lot of time at ours.

I was eating a snack and watching some Netflix on my laptop in our kitchen a couple nights ago while Eric had Hannah over. While Eric was taking a shower, Hannah came out to chat. She started with pleasantries but quickly got to the point and asked that I spend more time in my room while she’s over, and she’d appreciate it as a girl.

I explained that I normally do but I like eating in my kitchen. She asked if I could eat at my desk, I told her it’s more spacious and comfortable out here since our dining table is bigger. Hannah then said that she’s uncomfortable with me being out here while she’s over and she’d really appreciate it if I could respect her and Eric’s privacy.

The thing is, I give them plenty of privacy. I’m at my gf’s a couple nights a week and I travel decently often. Eric has my location and can always text to confirm he has an empty apartment. I’m also not listening in on them like a weirdo.

I’m usually wearing headphones and if I ever hear them having a private moment while I’m in the kitchen, I’ll retreat to my room because that’s super awkward. I responded to Hannah, “Sure, no problem, one second” and sent her a Venmo request for $2300.

Told Hannah that if she pays my share of rent then I’ll leave my apartment whenever she’s here. She got really upset and as soon as Eric got out of his shower she was on his ass asking him to get his creepy roommate to stop bothering them.

I explained the situation and Eric backed me up, telling Hannah that I have a right to be wherever in my own apartment. But later on Eric texted me asking to be nicer and more diplomatic in the future since my snarky Venmo request got him in trouble with Hannah. AITA for refusing to budge and for doing so in a snarky way?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Low-Peanut353 −  NTA and I LOVE the Venmo comment!  Your friend is delusional if this is the type of girl whose feelings he’s worried about protecting. Clearly she is either very immature or just very s**fish and self centered. I mean you’d have to be in order to tell someone, in their own apartment, to hide lol. 

Gloomy-Adeptness7553 −  NTA. is she seriously asking YOU to not be in the kitchen of YOUR (and your roommates) apartment that YOU pay for? that’s insane lmao.

One_Engineering8030 −  NTA. You were not being inappropriate. She was the one being inappropriate, trying to dictate the rules of your home when your name is on the lease and hers is not. If she doesn’t like you being free to do as you, please within the calming living area of your own home, she has the option of not going there.

You were not being undiplomatic. You made a fair offer if she wants to dictate your life in your own house then she needs to pay your portion of the rent.

If you are not allowed to be in your own home because she wants to be there instead, then she can pay for that privilege if she’s willing to come to an agreement to do so otherwise she can go back to her own place which she also doesn’t like. She has other options in the world.

And it is highly inappropriate for her to call you creepy for living your best life in your own home in a perfectly reasonable way, and the part of the argument that she makes stating that her gender should play any part in the rules of the common lemmings living space is also highly inappropriate as there is no logic behind this.

It would be different if your bathroom had no door or something weird like that this is a common living space and based on what you say at that time, you were just sitting there quietly eating your cereal, watching Netflix with your headphones on.

So if she is creeped out by you There’s nothing you need to do about that that’s on her and she can become less creeped out by relocating herself to another place on the planet.

I’m glad that your roommate had your back, but he did sort of hedge a little when he was asking you to be more diplomatic in the lake, but it was not inappropriate to reply to her unreasonable request and kind. Congratulations on standing up for yourself.

mllebitterness −  NTA. That’s a pretty wild thing to ask someone to stay out of the common areas of their own apartment. I bet she would take it really well if asked the same. Or asked to visit less.

Aware_Welcome_8866 −  The Venmo move! Omg. Literally LOL!

korretto −  NTA and that’s…. honestly weird? My roommates always got along with my partners so maybe I’m just biased, but if you’re not knocking on his door while they’re in his room or like, watching movies with them while they’re doing “date nights” or whatever I don’t see what the problem is.

My old roommate once brought home Pokemon Snap because my then-girlfriend, now-wife had mentioned missing it (this was before the Switch was invented let alone remade Snap lol) and we all three played together and had a GREAT time.

He minded his own business most of the time while she was over but we never felt the need to shoo him out. Especially not if he were just?? Eating? Hannah sounds like a b**t lmao

wrathofworlds −  NTA, that was a glorious burn. Harsh yes, but her request was rude as!

Frequent-Flyer-300 −  NTA. If you spend $2300 a month on an apartment you better be able to go wherever you want in the common areas! It’s a little audacious that she even asked you to be less present in your own apartment.

Square-Minimum-6042 −  I think you handled it perfectly. I’m glad Eric backed you up but I wouldn’t be nicer to his GF. She showed her true colors and you don’t want her getting too comfortable in *your* home.. NTA

chaenukyun −  NTA. This was genuinely hilarious. She’s deluded. Is telling Eric he’s free to split your share of rent with Hannah diplomatic? Hannah’s requests were outlandish and honestly she shouldn’t feel comfortable asking that AT ALL. I’d spend even more time in the apt and in the common spaces tbh. Get your money’s worth.

Do you think the user was justified in sending the Venmo request, or was it an overreaction? How would you handle this situation in a shared living space with a roommate and their significant other? Share your thoughts below!