AITA for screenshotting messages guys sent me and sending them to their mothers?

An 18-year-old college student shared her experience of dealing with harassment from three male classmates. Instead of blocking or reporting them, she decided to screenshot their inappropriate messages and send them to their mothers, exposing their behavior.

The mothers were horrified and supported her, but the student now faces mixed opinions from friends—some praise her actions, while others think involving their mothers was too extreme. To find out more about the situation and how others responded, read the full story below…

‘ AITA for screenshotting messages guys sent me and sending them to their mothers?’

I’m an 18 year old girl who is in college atm. I’ve been getting bullied/harassed by three guys in my class who have taken to messaging me online with rather gross/harassing messages and nsfw pictures that i’m sure you can all fill in the gaps without me going into detail.

I should have reported them or just blocked them but I had, had enough so I screenshot every message they’d sent me and found their mothers through their facebook pages and sent screenshots to them including an explanation of who I am and how their sons have been bothering me.

Their mothers were horrified and shocked by what I sent them explaining what was going on and all three are on my side. Some of my friends think this is genius and exactly what they deserved but some of my other friends think I took it too far and it was out of line to put that on their Mothers and also how I don’t know what their home life is like.

Am I the a**hole for doing this? Should I have gone about it another way? Edit due to questions/comments: When it was just standard bullying I reported them but they only got a warning, the messages/pictures started after that as if to prove I couldn’t do anything. I figured reporting them again wouldn’t work so did this.

 

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Urdrago −  NTA. The people saying you took it too far are the same ones who would defend those guys behavior as “just guys being guys”.
What they were doing is organized s**ual harassment, and it needs to be forwarded to school administration as well. Those are rapists in the larval stage.

tosser9212 −  NTA. Each of these guys could potentially be charged criminally; instead, you told their mothers. I applaud you for employing a method that will ensure they have some kind of punishment from their families.

To be clear, it may not be any more effective overall than reporting to the police, but it’s worth the shot. As for your friends who say you took it too far, I’d ask them how far they think the three guys have gone, and whether that’s too far? Then tell those “friends” to eff off.

Apotheuncary −  This is chef’s-kiss perfection. NTA. Smart as heck. Please ditch any friend who said this was out of line. Men who don’t know how to behave get either mom or the police. You chose well.

Allyzayd −  This is gold! NTA. You actually chose an option that would cause them less trouble for their future. Most colleges have pretty strict rules about bullying. They might have been kicked out. You picked the more effective choice without destroying their future.

TBH even if you had chosen to report them to the college, you would still have not been the ah. Bullying and s**ual harassment should never be tolerated.

heathertidwell7 −  NTA. They shouldn’t be sending you stuff like that without your consent in the first place! It’s disgusting that some guys think that’s okay to do!

ParsimoniousSalad −  NTA. You did “report” them, just to a different kind of authority. They had no expectation or “right to privacy” of the messages they sent you. Good for you.

SiuanSongs −  NTA. What kind of awful people put the feelings of their friends _harrassers_ over the feelings of their supposed friend?! The police probably would have done nothing. Whatever app you are using probably would have done nothing.

I think what you did was smart. You put them on blast, but privately, so if they retaliate in a more public way they look even more like assholes.

Bobalish_tea −  NTA. Run far, far away from any “friend” who thinks you’re in the wrong here. Also, please look into reporting these boys to the school, jobs they have, etc. Protect yourself, leave a paper trail, screenshot and record everything.

Free-Celery__19 −  NTA- not sure where you live but if it’s in the UK this is actually a crime now, and I imagine with its recent legalisation the local Police Force would be rather interested in this too. I’d go the whole h**, f**k them and their disrespect for your boundaries.

This happened to me prior to the change of laws, so I issued a warning that as if anyone shared the imagine with me I’d consider it my property to do as I wish with and share it on social media. Never had one again happily enough… these disrespectful s** pests need to learn to respect peoples boundaries and unfortunately from my experience they don’t seem to understand the word no.

RocketteP −  NTA. Boys are far too often excused from facing consequences of their actions. If they were being respectful none of this would be an issue. They weren’t. Perhaps they’ll think twice before they pull a similar stunt.