AITA for screaming at my aunt to get the hell out after she called my little sister “Miss Trunchbull”?

A Reddit user (17F) got into a heated argument with her aunt (40F) after her aunt called her younger sister (8F) “Miss Trunchbull” during a visit, which made her sister upset. The aunt’s comment triggered memories of bullying the younger sister had faced about her weight. The user stood up for her sister, which led to a shouting match and her aunt leaving. Now, the aunt is demanding an apology, but the user is unsure if she overreacted. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for screaming at my aunt to get the hell out after she called my little sister “Miss Trunchbull”?’

Using throwaway account because I know some of my family are on here. Sorry for any grammar issues English is not my first language.

My (17f) aunt (40f) and cousins (10f and 6f) came over to our house for a visit. My cousins and my little sister (8f) were playing around the house. They were chasing each other around, I think they were playing tag. Me, my dad, and my aunt (who is his sister) were sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee when my sister and oldest cousin ran past us. My sister was chasing after her. My aunt suddenly yelled out laughing, “Don’t fall on her and squish her, Miss Trunchbull!”

My sister and I had just rewatched the movie Matilda a couple weeks ago, but I didn’t really get the connection until my sister suddenly got very quiet before going to her room in tears. I looked up the character again on my phone and it clicked. I jumped up and started yelling at my aunt, that led to a screaming match between the both us until she grabbed her kids and left.

My aunt has always been almond mom to her daughters, always saying weird stuff that she “has to keep them skinny” and that she’ll make sure they’re models one day. She has made remarks before to my sister that she eats too much.

My little sister is chubby, not obese, but still chubbier than most of the kids in her class. She has gotten bullied for this before and is insecure of her weight. My aunt knew this since my sister genuinely loves her and talked to her about it before.

I couldn’t wrap my head around why she would say something so hurtful. I went to my sister’s room and she was crying. She asked me why she can’t be beautiful and it broke my heart. My parents said I overreacted, but I heard them talking in their room about how disrespectful it was that my aunt said that. I’m still grounded regardless. It’s been a week since then but my aunt called last night and basically said she won’t see us until I apologize. Now, my parents are urging me to say sorry.

I feel like I was right to have stood up for my sister, but at the same time so I don’t want to lose connection with my cousins. I’m really confused if I should apologize or not because maybe I did overreact. I just don’t know.. So, MITA? Edit: I fixed the mistakes of calling my cousins my nieces, sorry for any confusion.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Lex-tailonis −  Your aunt is mean and as an adult she should know better. Don’t apologize, it sets a bad example for your sister, like she’s not worth standing up for.. NTA. Your aunt is a BIG a**hole. Maybe after the comments fill in you can print this and sent it to her. Maybe she will think twice about insulting and hurting the feelings of a child.

Reasonable-Coconut15 −  NTA.  I wasn’t familiar with the character, so I looked her up.  She 100% said that to be mean.  I’m getting the idea that she is one of those people who believes in negative reinforcement.  I feel terrible for your nieces.  IMO, you should apologize.  Right after she gives your sister a sincere apology for b**lying an 8 year old. You did nothing wrong.

Tree_Chemistry_Plz −  NTA. Tell your parents that SOMEONE has to protect your sister, and if they wont do it then you absolutely WILL do the protecting that they should be doing. Also tell them that you expect the Aunt to apologise to little sister if she’s demanding an apology from you, because what you said would never have happened if Aunt didn’t b**ly little sister.

Tell your parents that even if they’re okay with Aunt making toxic and a**sive comments about nieces/her own kids you can’t watch it happen to your little sister in the place where she is supposed to be the safest – her own home. That you can’t help that Aunty has a disordered and outdated idea of feminine beauty and that it turned her into an adult who bullies children, but you’ll be DAMNED if you will let her treat your little sister that way.

SeeHearSpeak0 −  NTA. This could be your hill to die on or you can put a twist on your apology. You can say “I’m sorry that you decided to fat shame and b**ly my baby sister to tears. I’m sorry that your horrible comments made my little sister think she’s not beautiful. I’m sorry that my parents are spineless and won’t stand up to you in defense of their young daughter. I’m sorry that everyone’s going to find out what a disgusting soul you have.”

Human-Bee-3731 −  PLEASE stand up to your sister against the aunt. Your little sister needs an ally. Someone who can tell her she is different but still lovely and lovable and beautiful, and being skinny is not a good measurement of a person – give example: your aunt. Also please tell your parents that your sister cried and was really hurt by the words, and ask why they don’t want to stand up for their daughter.

I was a chubby child and had no allies. I felt like at best people avoided talking about my weight. No one ever said I was good as I was, and no one defended me against mean comments. Some of the comparisons hurt me so bad I had to work to get over them in my 30’s. I felt like my family thought I was fat and u**y and laughed at me. It’s not probably the whole truth, and looking at my childhood pictures I was really cute young person, but that is what no allies and no positive commentary makes you feel like.

Your aunt made a comparison of your cute little sister to a tyrannical, butch, big and manlike character, and unless your sister strives to be masculine and butch, that hurts in SO many ways, not just body comparison. She must feel so bad, being hurt like this by someone she thought was a close family member, poor baby.

Betalisa −  NTA. You can certainly apologize for cursing at her, because that itself was rude. “I’m sorry I cursed at you.” Don’t apologize for yelling. (If SHE doesn’t also apologize to your sister for what she said and promise to never do it again, tell your parents you don’t want to have to stay in any room with her—if that’s what you want.)

Senator_Bink −  Basically said she won’t see us until I apologize. Threatening you with a good time? So she won’t come back and b**ly your sister some more until you apologize? Sounds good to me! NTA.

corvidfamiliar −  NTA. Tell your parents that you will apologise for cursing, as soon as Aunt apologises for b**lying your little sister. I would emphasize how aunts comments are making sister hate herself and her body, and that you will always stand up for her and will protect her from bullies, even if the b**ly is family. No one should b**ly a child into hating themselves without consequences.

FyvLeisure −  NTA. “Oh no, your aunt won’t come over, such a shame”.

P35HighPower −  NTA. Your aunt was rude, insulting and cruel and if anyone needs to apologize it is her. You stood up for your sister, never be hesitant or ashamed to do that.