AITA for sabotaging my little brother’s food on purpose?

Family dynamics during the holidays can be as sweet as they are sour, especially when the roles you’re forced into become a constant source of frustration. In this case, our OP—a 20‑year‑old woman—shares her story of how being treated like a housekeeper by her family led her to take drastic measures against her 18‑year‑old brother. For years, she’s been the one cleaning up messes and cooking for everyone, while her brother consistently shirks his responsibilities.

After repeated confrontations and endless nagging from parents who side with him, she reached her breaking point. Instead of simply refusing to cook or clean up after him, she chose to sabotage the food he requested—adding ingredients he despises—to send a message. Now, with her brother and parents upset and calling her petty, she wonders if her actions crossed the line.

‘AITA for sabotaging my little brother’s food on purpose?’

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist specializing in family dynamics, notes, “When one feels consistently exploited or undervalued in family roles, it’s natural to experience intense frustration. However, reacting with sabotage—especially in ways that intentionally harm another’s food or comfort—can escalate conflicts. While the underlying issues need to be addressed, it’s important to do so through calm, constructive dialogue rather than actions that may appear vengeful.” (kidshealth.org)

Family therapist Dr. Susan Johnson adds, “In family systems, resentment often builds up when one person is repeatedly expected to shoulder responsibilities alone. Although OP’s actions are understandable given her emotional exhaustion, they risk deepening familial divisions.

Addressing these issues directly with mediation or family counseling might lead to a more lasting solution than petty revenge, which may only serve to entrench defensive attitudes.” Both experts agree that while the frustration is valid, the method of ‘sabotage’ might not be the healthiest way to resolve long-standing family conflicts.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Many redditors empathize with OP, stating that if you’re constantly put in the role of a housekeeper and your requests for help are ignored, you’re allowed to be upset—even if the method isn’t perfect.

Ultimately, OP’s actions were driven by longstanding frustration over unequal responsibilities in her household. While her decision to intentionally ruin her brother’s food by adding ingredients he despises is understandable on an emotional level, many wonder if it was the best way to handle the situation.

Do you believe that when you’re consistently taken for granted, drastic measures like food sabotage are justified? Or should conflicts always be resolved through open dialogue—even if that conversation is long overdue? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below—what would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation?