AITA for “ruining” my sister’s wedding by refusing to cover up my scars and birthmark?

A Reddit user shares a family conflict sparked by her sister’s unusual wedding request. The sister has asked her to cover up a birthmark and scars on her face with professional makeup, saying it’s necessary for “perfect” wedding photos.

The Redditor, who is set to be the maid of honor, feels that this demand is hurtful and goes against her choice to embrace her appearance. However, her refusal has led to family backlash, with relatives accusing her of being selfish and making the day about herself. Now, she’s questioning if she’s truly in the wrong.

‘ AITA for “ruining” my sister’s wedding by refusing to cover up my scars and birthmark?’

I have a pretty big birthmark and some burn scars on the left side of my face from an accident when I was little. I’ve learned to love them as they’re just part of who I am and I live a normal life.

My sister’s getting married next month and dropped this bomb on me yesterday. She wants me to get “professional stage makeup” done to completely cover my birthmark and scars for her wedding because, in her words, “the photos need to be perfect and you’ll ruin them looking like that.” She even said I’m “being inconsiderate and l**e l**er” by not agreeing since “it’s her special day.”

I’m supposed to be her maid of honor. I’ve helped with literally everything, spent a ton on the bachelorette party, and even learned how to bustle her ridiculous dress. But apparently my face is too u**y for her perfect wedding pics.

When I said no, she started crying and called our mom. Mom says I should “just do this one thing for my sister” and that I’m being difficult. My sister’s now threatening to replace me in the wedding party with our cousin if I don’t agree. I told her fine, get the cousin, I’m not covering up who I am for anyone’s photos.

Now half the family is blowing up my phone saying I’m s**fish and trying to make the wedding about me.What should I have done, you tell me here. Like, am I going crazy here? I’ve never hidden my face and I’m not starting now, not even for my sister’s “perfect” wedding.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

VII_187 −  NTA. If you looking as you naturally do would “ruin” her wedding then she can get somebody else. Good on you for standing your ground.

goodlookingcaspia −  Not covering up your scars or birthmark isn’t s**fish, it’s about self-respect and being true to yourself.

Federal-Fall1385 −  This is actually such disgusting behavior I feel sick for you. I’m so sorry babe.

Either_Management813 −  I agree she is out of line, you shouldn’t do this and I’d stay completely away from the wedding. If you had gone through with it she’d spend the rest of her marriage explaining to people who the person was in the photos because no one would recognize you.

Likely the same thing would happen at the wedding. I’d personally tell her to go to hell but you might want to point out that if you did this everyone would spend the whole time either asking everyone about it or staring at you. Does she really want to make the whole wedding about you? I’m assuming many of the people invited know you by sight. NTA.

Jazzlike-Bird-3192 −  Your sister told said you will ruin the photos by looking how you look????!!!! That’s beyond insensitive and obnoxious.
I’d skip the wedding altogether. Make plans with people who love you for you.. NTA.

cressidacole −  Don’t even go to the wedding. You’re perfect. You’d outshine her.

stiggley −  NTA you are you – she obviously doesn’t accept that and wants the real you to be hidden away, after taking so much money from you. Also, and this is for everyone – STOP PAYING FOR OTHER PEOPLES WEDDING CRAP. ITS THEIR WEDDING, THEY SHOULD PAY.

Its not the job of the MOH to pay for everything. Help organise, yes, foot the bill, no. If you want to maliciously comply and send her a big F-U, go with a Phantom of the Opera mask, the facial scars are covered.

LunaSings −  NTA. Ur body, your choice. It’s incredibly shallow of your sister to prioritize “perfect photos” over ur comfort and confidence.

VegetableBusiness897 −  Maybe she’s never heard of photoshopping?? Personally I’d tell her congrats on the wedding and also on showing her true self to the world….. That hopefully she won’t risk having kids ever….since she might end up with a l**e l**er child who ruins her motherhood with a birthmark or a scar.

Then I’d dip on the wedding and group text the entire invite list to enjoy themselves as you will be hiding your hideousness so as not to ruin the day, per your sisters request. Peace out cub scout!

Equivalent-Gap5844 −  NTA. I don’t understand brides wanting others to make radical changes to their appearance, or to hide important aspects of themselves for one day. Do that think people won’t go back to their normal selves the next day? What will the guests think the next time they meet that person?

Weddings are about creating great memories not just photos. Asking you to change your face is incredibly s**fish of her, your sister is a b**ch. Being a bride is not an excuse to be horrible to people, especially after everything you have done. Hold your head high and continue being comfortable with yourself.