AITA for ruining my brother’s marriage because his wife left me at the pool?

A Reddit user (19F) shared a story about a difficult experience after having their wisdom teeth removed. They asked their sister-in-law, Bri (24), to take them to the appointment, as their mom was unavailable. However, after the surgery, Bri took the user to a pool instead of immediately bringing them home, leaving them feeling disoriented, sick, and abandoned.

After the user called their brother for help, Bri became upset, and the situation escalated, leading to the breakdown of her marriage. Now, Bri is blaming the user for ruining her family, and the user is conflicted about whether they should feel responsible. To learn more about how this situation unfolded, read the full story below…

‘ AITA for ruining my brother’s marriage because his wife left me at the pool?’

I (19F) had surgery a couple days ago to get all 4 of my wisdom teeth out and because I have a really bad fear of dentists, they had to d**g me pretty hard to do the removal. Not like laughing gas that wears off really fast, but actual IV medicine so I was pretty much unconscious during the whole thing.

They told me to have a “responsible adult” drive me to the appointment and back because the meds they gave me would make it dangerous to drive. My mom was on a work trip and couldn’t take me, so I asked my sister in law Bri (24, not her real name) if she could do it as the whole thing would only take an hour or two.

I even offered gas money because the dental office is about 45 minutes away. I would have asked my brother but he works during the day while bri is a stay at home mom to their 2yo daughter who I think was at bri’s mom’s house that day.

Bri agreed to take me to my appointment and the surgery went fine, bri waited in the lobby for me to be done. When I came out of anesthesia I was very disoriented and nauseous, which I guess is normal. I had gauze shoved in my mouth to stop any bleeding and bri took me to her car after I was let go.

I don’t really remember much of the drive but it felt like not enough time passed before bri got out of the car and told me to come with her. I was really out of it and just followed her because the alternative was staying in the hot car.

long story short, we were at a pool?? I was really confused but once we were through the gate bri basically parked me at one of those little table-benches said she’d be back in a while. I was still trying not to puke and was really dizzy from the heat (90+ degrees) and the drugs, so I asked her to take me home but she wouldn’t.

I guess since it was her day off and she didn’t have my niece she was meeting friends at the pool. I was starting to feel really sick and on the verge of passing out or having a panic attack, so I called my brother.

I don’t think he could understand me between the meds and the stuff in my mouth because he hung up and I guess called bri because she came stomping back over, cussing and yelling at me, and took me back to the car. I passed out on the drive home, but when we arrived my brother had left work and met us in the driveway.

He was screaming at bri and she was crying. I was still pretty disoriented but my brother took me back home and stayed with me until the meds wore off. That’s when he told me he’s divorcing bri because of what she did plus some other things he didn’t go into detail about.

It’s been a few days since then and bri has been blowing up my phone telling me what a b**ch I am and how me tattling destroyed her family. Part of me feels bad because of my niece and I wonder if I should’ve jjst dealt with it and waited for her to be done at the pool instead of calling my bro and causing problems.. AITA??

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

JeepersCreepers74 −  he’s divorcing bri because of what she did plus some other things OP, you are not the reason they’re getting a divorce. But if you find out the reason, please come back and update because enquiring minds want to know!. NTA.

kittenoftheeast −  NTA. Not remotely. And you did not ruin their marriage. The other things your brother didn’t detail? Sounds like Bri’s treatment of you was a last straw.

CrossFace13 −  Oh honey, NTA at all. Whilst I understand how you think you should’ve just s**k it up and kept quiet, you were also post op and under the effects of heavy drugs. What she did was very irresponsible and childish.

I also don’t think that’s the sole reason why your brother is thinking of divorce, it sounds like the final nail in the coffin tho. Their marital problems are not yours and are in no shape or form your fault.

throwawaypoolproblem −  Oh wow I didn’t expect this to blow up like this. Thank you all for the reassurance it really does help. I still don’t know what my brother meant by “other things” but if I find out I’ll post an update. Thank you all again, it means a lot.

GoingPriceForHome −  NTA. You did not ruin your brother’s marriage. SHE did. This sounds like the latest stunt she’s pulled in a long line of thoughtless and harmful behaviors.

[Reddit User] −  He’s not divorcing Bri because of this. This was just the last straw. NTA, kiddo. Not your fault in ANY way.

RighteousVengeance −  NTA. And Bri is the one that ruined her marriage. She could be brought up on criminal charges for what she did. She was entrusted to bring you home (or, failing this, someplace safe). Abandoning you at a pool (which apparently was at a location unfamiliar to you) was irresponsible and dangerous, considering your state.

And by the way, props to your brother for going above and beyond to protect you while his wife was being entitled, selfish and careless.

LouisV25 −  NTA but Bri is heartless and cold. She doesn’t have a soul. She also lacks the ability to take responsibility for her actions hence the call that YOU ruined HER family. She did that all by herself. Your brother is divorcing her for many other things. You were just the last straw.

Anyone who could treat a human like that has done many thing of which your brother doesn’t speak. Don’t feel bad a all. She ruined her own marriage.

rilakkuma1 −  The kind of person who leaves a kid who just had dental surgery at a pool in 90+ degree heat is a bad person. This was not the first time he’s seen her be a bad person. And if this time didn’t happen, she was going to continue doing bad person things until he got tired of it.. ​

It’s not surprising that this was the last straw though. There’s something about seeing someone who treats you terribly start to treat people you love terribly as well. Like you’ve been powering through for yourself but you can’t let them hurt other people too. He’s probably thinking “What’s going to happen when our daughter has surgery?

Will she live her at the pool too?”. And he’s right to think that. What I’m saying is, if you hadn’t said anything, they still would have gotten divorced. Just maybe a few months from now. And regardless, you should be happy your brother is leaving someone who is a bad person. It’s good for him and long term it’s going to be good for your niece.

Scarlettohara1605 −  Leaving you in a hot car after anaesthetic, when you’re still disorientated & drowsy is like leaving a child or animal in a hot car. You didn’t have full capacity and something could have happened to you. She put you in potential danger. It’s standard that if you have anaesthetic, you shouldn’t be left alone for 24 hours at least.

Bri shouldn’t have agreed to take you, if she wasn’t going to take you straight home. Leaving you alone near a pool in that state, is similar to leaving a toddler near a pool. You didn’t have full capacity and something could have happened to you. She put you in potential danger. Is she didn’t want to stay with you, she could have dropped you off at home to sleep it off & then go to the pool