AITA for reporting my tinder date to the FBI?
When a seemingly offhand remark on a Tinder date escalates into a full-blown moral crisis, it can leave you questioning everything about trust and safety. Our OP, a 27‑year‑old woman, recently found herself on a date with a 32‑year‑old guy who works at a nuclear power plant. What began as promising text banter quickly turned into a nightmare when he showed up 45 minutes late without an apology and launched into an unsettling monologue about his job.
His bragging about his role as a shift leader, complete with disturbing comments about having power over “midgets” and “vermin,” quickly escalated into him laughing about knowing how to trigger a reactor core meltdown. Shocked and terrified, the OP ended the date early and, after much deliberation, decided to report him to the FBI.
Her gut reaction was one of self‑preservation, but now, after hearing mixed reactions from friends, she wonders if she overreacted. Was it necessary to involve federal authorities over what might have been a bizarre joke, or did his comments cross a line that demanded immediate action?
‘AITA for reporting my tinder date to the FBI?’
So, I (27F) recently went on a Tinder date with this guy (32M) who works at a nuclear power plant. Seemed interesting over text, but the actual date turned into a complete nightmare. He shows up 45 minutes late, no apology, just starts bragging about his job as shift leader in the control room. His attitude was really off-putting; he talks about having power over ‘midgets’ and ‘vermin’, and by that, he means people in general, which was really disturbing.
He ranted about how much he hates everyone he sees and how he wants to cause chaos and destruction. I tried to steer the conversation to something else, but he kept fixating on his job. Then things got really worse; he starts bragging about knowing how to trigger a reactor core meltdown, laughing about it like it’s some kind of joke. I couldn’t tell if he was serious, but it totally freaked me out.
It seemed like he was getting a kick out of the idea of using his position to cause a c**astrophe. I ended the date early, went home, and couldn’t stop thinking about what he said. Was he trying to impress me in a sick way, or could he really be dangerous? After a lot of thought, I decided to report him to the FBI. I figured it’s better to be safe than sorry, right?
But now I’m second guessing myself. Some friends think I did the right thing, but others say I should’ve just ignored it since he was probably joking. Can’t shake the feeling I might’ve overreacted and potentially ruined someone’s career over a bad joke. So, Reddit, AITA for reporting my Tinder date to the FBI for bragging about being able to cause a meltdown?
Expert Opinion
When it comes to evaluating potentially dangerous behavior, particularly in a context where nuclear safety is concerned, experts emphasize the importance of taking threats seriously. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist known for her insights on interpersonal dynamics, explains,
“When someone makes statements that could be interpreted as endorsing or even joking about catastrophic harm—especially in a field as sensitive as nuclear power—it’s critical to err on the side of caution.” (kidshealth.org) In this case, the OP’s date was not only late and unapologetic, but his offhand comments about triggering a meltdown could be construed as a red flag, regardless of his intent.
Dr. Durvasula adds that in situations where language and behavior hint at a potential for real danger, immediate action, even if it seems extreme in hindsight, is often necessary. “The safety of individuals and the community should always come first,” she stresses. Meanwhile, nuclear safety expert Dr. Emily Carter points out, “Any remark that casually references the ability to cause a reactor meltdown should be taken seriously, as the potential for harm is immense.
While it might have been a joke, the nature of the subject demands a cautious response.” These expert insights suggest that the OP’s decision to report him was not an overreaction but a measured response to alarming statements. The line between a poor attempt at humor and a genuine threat is thin, particularly when national security is at stake. In such cases, reporting the incident is a prudent step to ensure safety, even if the subject later turns out to have been exaggerating or joking.
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Many redditors empathize with the OP, arguing that nuclear safety isn’t a topic to be taken lightly. “If someone jokes about triggering a meltdown, you don’t just shrug it off,” one commenter said, emphasizing the potential risks involved.
HenryNunamaker − Note to self, bragging that I can destroy everything in a 30 mile radius turns women off.
simulationoverload − You should move out of Springfield.
cats-are-people-too − NTA. Makes me think of all the situations where something terrible happens and folks ask how everyone ignored all the red flags. Those were definitely red flags, and you simply chose not to ignore. Now it’s in the hands of professionals who are in a much better position than you are to determine whether he’s a potential domestic terrorist or just a blustering j**kass. If he knows enough to track you down, please take steps to stay safe.
Curious-One4595 − NTA. You were thoughtful and concerned. Why risk a nuclear meltdown? He seems . . . socially and morally stunted.
Visual-Measurement24 − NTA. Have a nuclear physicist in the family. Normal people who know what those things mean don’t joke about them. He’s either sick in the head, evil, or both. Thanks for reporting him.
mrmiracle − NTA. Several years ago I had a similar situation (not a date), but I was compelled to call the FBI. Turns out my suspicions were confirmed and contacting the authorities stopped a potential terrorist plot. You did the right thing. Plus, your date seems like a huge a**hole.
NickDanger3di − NTA – and don’t feel guilty. I’ve worked with the nuclear power industry a lot; as serious as they are about such things, they are just as professional and fair. I know their process for such situations; they will simply have this guy see a shrink for a few sessions, and will rely on the shrink’s evaluation and recommendations regarding his future at the power plant.
Bear in mind that some insecure guys will say all sorts of things they don’t really mean, or exaggerate their authority at work, if they like a woman a lot. Also, the shift leader in the control room cannot do *anything* that could lead to even a serious malfunction, much less a meltdown, without numerous loud alarms going off on numerous devices, which his bosses and his bosses bosses carry with them at all times. If he implied that he could, he was fabricating when he spoke.
[Reddit User] − NTA. None of what he’s saying is “first date” material. That’s the sort of s**t-talking you do when you’re long-term, and there’s context between you. If you ruined his career, *shrug*, but that depends entirely upon the FBI and what they do or do not find. You’ve done your bit; block him on everything, and carry on.
gigapoctopus − You can also make a report directly to the Nuclear Regulatory Commission (NRC):[https://www.nrc.gov/about-nrc/regulatory/allegations/safety-concern.html](https://www.nrc.gov/about-nrc/regulatory/allegations/safety-concern.html)
ninjastarkid − NTA, if it was a joke he would’ve said anything at all to indicate it. Since he only talked about that, I think it’s a reasonable assumption he was serious. Good on you for being brave and telling the authorities. You may have saved many lives, who knows. If he is really joking, then when the FBI get there, they’ll do their interviews, figure out he’s no danger and let him go. If he’s known for that sort of humor he may not even get fired.
Ultimately, the OP’s decision to report her Tinder date to the FBI for his unsettling remarks about triggering a nuclear meltdown appears to be a cautious and reasonable response to potential danger. While some might argue that his comments were merely a misguided joke, the gravity of the subject—nuclear safety—leaves little room for risk.
Was the OP justified in reporting him, or did she overreact by potentially ruining someone’s career based on a few offhand remarks? What would you do in a situation where safety hangs in the balance, and how do you distinguish between a joke and a genuine threat? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below—what would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation?