AITA for replacing myself with my twin brother at my in-laws’ Christmas Eve party to see if anyone noticed?

A man frustrated by his in-laws’ lack of attention at holiday gatherings devised a clever experiment: he sent his identical twin brother to the family’s Christmas Eve party in his place to see if anyone would notice. No one did. The next day, he revealed the prank to the family, sparking tension with his wife, who thought the joke should have stayed private. Now, he’s wondering if he went too far. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for replacing myself with my twin brother at my in-laws’ Christmas Eve party to see if anyone noticed?’

I am 31, and have an identical twin brother. For a while I’ve told my wife that none of her family members notice me or care about anything I do on Christmas Eve but they insist on me attending. She told me that’s not true, they genuinely like me and enjoy talking to me.

But I know that the only times they’ve included me I had to basically insert myself into conversations and it feels awkward and unnatural. So I had a wager with my wife. Bring my twin brother Steve instead of me, and see if anyone notices. I purposefully did not prep Steve on anything, he went in completely clueless (he knew why we were doing it and was game. I gave him $20.)

As I suspected, Steve confirmed that he wasn’t approached all night, nobody could tell he wasn’t me, and he admitted he even felt excluded and he could only imagine how I felt.

So this morning on Christmas I invited Steve to join (normally he’s with my mom and dad every year as he’s not married or in a relationship.) they know about him obviously but didn’t know about the switcheroo.

That was when I revealed that last night “I” was Steve and expressed disappointment that nobody noticed and said this is why I stopped trying, nobody talks to me. My wife drew the line here, she was hoping we would keep this between the two of us as a funny prank. But how can I expect her family to see what jerks they’ve been if I don’t expose it? FWIW Steve was fine.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

WanderingSnail −  If this is real I’m going to go with ESH, you should have kept it between yourself and your wife to prove a point that you shouldnt have to go see her family.

Yes what her family does sucks and makes them assholes but you really have no hope for that ever changing, people tend not to change s**tty behaviors if called out. By doing what you did you’ve now made a bad situation worse.

VitorAssan −  I think this is a severe case of ESH.

Malikissa −  You were fine up until the public confrontation. That was completely unnecessary, and puts you firmly in YTA territory.

boopbooptoot −  ESH, minus your wife really. The family sucks for giving so little of a f**k about you but you also s**k for feeling you had to bring up the issue on Christmas Day. Not only does that make people feel super s**tty (be it anger, guilt, sadness or whatever), but you also risk making the situation worse and ruining a day that the family were likely looking forward to.

everynameistaken000 −  ESH. Well done though, if they were merely indifferent to you before, they surely hate you now. Nobody likes to feel they have been made a fool of. They are unlikely to see themselves as arseholes (although clearly they are). But they’ll certainly view you as one. What was their response to this little revelation?

[Reddit User] −  ESH. Your in-laws seem like assholes, but publicly shaming them without consulting your wife first was a major d**k move. Since she was complicit in the plan, you telling off your in-laws reflects on her too, so you should’ve consulted with her and decided what to do together.

uglykitten2020 −  INFO what’s your goal? Do you want to be accepted/ treated better, or do you want to expose your in-laws jerkiness and rub it in? Because these two goals are mutually exclusive.

smolconfusedbat −  This has to be a s**t post, but if not, YTA. At first I was going to go with everyone sucks here, because they’re your family too, clearly they should be paying more attention than this. But then you did a very d**k move of attempting to humiliate them and dragged your wife through it with you. S**tty husband move. S**tty in law move.

B___E −  YTA and you sound like a child. Oh they don’t take notice of me. Oh they couldn’t tell the difference between me and my twin brother. Oh they don’t go out of their way to treat me like a child who needs his hand held. FFS your an adult. Yes it’s on you to be interesting enough that people want to have a conversation with you,.

Order66-Cody −  YTA. From ur comments u say you didn’t do this hoping they would change but just to make them feel bad.

Was this a harmless prank to make a point, or did it cross the line into disrespect? How would you handle being overlooked by your in-laws? Share your thoughts below!