AITA for reminding my dad he didn’t pay child support?

A Redditor recounts a tense interaction with their estranged father. After years of limited contact and unpaid child support, the father, now recovering from an injury, assumed he could move into the Redditor’s home. When they refused, citing his history of non-support, the father’s wife accused them of being rude and “dragging up the past.”

The situation escalated, leading to the Redditor being asked to leave the hospital where their father was recovering. Read the full story below to decide if they were justified in their response.

‘ AITA for reminding my dad he didn’t pay child support?’

Growing up I never really knew my dad. He was in and out of the picture and later years him and my mom would argue over his jail time for not paying child support. My mom died and I live in her house with my girlfriend and her child.

In my adult life my relationship has been the same with my dad. He reached out after my mom’s d**th but he never really made the effort and it always felt that if he tried to have a relationship with me it was always for a new girlfriend or wife benefit not mine.

My dad recently had a bed wreck and his apartment only had stairs. Him and his new wife acted like they will move into my home since it’s an old school ranch house. All one floor. I told him no. He asked my why I didn’t trust him and he would pay rent. I told him why would I trust him to pay rent when he never paid my mom child support for years.

His wife told me that was a rude thing to say. I told maybe my they should ask one of her kids (she has 5) or one of my dad’s 3 other kids because of 1 of 9 I’m not stepping up to help because my dad has never helped me. They accused me of dragging up their past and I told them their attitude is not going to mesh with mine long term. I was asked to leave the hospital because I was upsetting them while my dad was still there.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Difficult_onion4538 −  NTA at all. He didn’t pay child support, he didn’t take care of you as a child, nor did he try and cultivate a relationship with you once you were an adult. But now he needs something, so *obviously* you should bend over backwards to accommodate him and his new wife. F**k that. Tell him he’s got 8 other kids he can live with.

feminist1946 −  NTA. He’ll move in and he’ll find all kind of reasons not to pay rent. It will blow up and you will be the bad guy for tossing your disabled parent out. Just tell him and his wife no and get the ungrateful child out of the way before you have to suffer and then do the same thing anyway.

lOGlReaper −  NTA. “stop bringing up the past”. “Well I am your past and you’ve never been present, so why would you be in my future?”

SomeoneYouDontKnow70 −  NTA. It wasn’t a rude thing to say; failing to pay child support was a rude thing to do. Don’t let them gaslight you into letting them mooch off of you.

pottersquash −  NTA. It was a very germaine point. Its not even a malicious thing, essentially like a creditor refusing to extend more credit due to poor prior credit history. You don’t trust him to pay rent because he didn’t pay his child support.

SuperPookypower −  Making decisions based on someone’s prior acts toward you isn’t dragging up the past, it’s simply being prudent. OP’s dad has shown that he can’t be trusted. He and his wife have some nerve to invite themselves to live with him. NTA.

Petalfrostt −  Seriously tho, its not like u just brought it up out of nowhere they literally asked u why u didnt trust him! And then his wife has the audacity to call u rude? Like girl bye. They wanna act like the past doesnt matter now that its convenient for them but thats not how it works. U have every right to protect urself and ur home. They can figure out their own living situation.

madman54218374125 −  NTA. At all. This guy is essentially a stranger. You don’t owe him a damn thing. They should not have even asked you, I would have had much more choice words to say in your shoes.

TuckerCarlsonsOhface −  “Dragging up their past” lol, the one where he didn’t help you or your mom for your entire life? NTA.

OkeyDokey654 −  NTA.. “But you’re my son!”. “Stop dragging up the past!”