AITA for refusing to wear my SIL’s wedding dress to my wedding ?
A Redditor grapples with a peculiar request from her fiancé’s brother, who insists she wear his wife’s wedding dress at her own upcoming wedding. Despite having her own dress in mind, the situation escalates when the brother and sister-in-law show up uninvited, pressuring her to try it on.
This unexpected intrusion raises red flags for the couple, leading them to consider uninviting the brother and sister-in-law to avoid potential sabotage. To explore the complexities of family dynamics and wedding planning, read the original story below.
‘ AITA for refusing to wear my SIL’s wedding dress to my wedding ?’
I (23F) am getting married to my fiance (24M) in a month. He has an identical twin brother with whom he’s keeping a bit of a distance with cause of his past possessive behavior of wanting to share everything with each other, from interests, hobbies and even friends.
His brother got eloped to his wife (27F) and even suggested to my fiance to do the same on the same day as him, but of course he shut that down quickly as we both agreed on having a wedding already.
However, I ended up being contacted by my fiance’s brother requesting me to wear his wife’s wedding dress from their elopement to my wedding, which I obviously turned down, telling him that I’ve already got a specific wedding dress on my mind.
He dropped the subject and for 2 weeks I didn’t hear about it again, so I thought that was the end of it, but yesterday my fiance’s brother and his wife showed up at our house (uninvited may I add), got up SIL’s wedding dress and then literally asked me to try out right here and that they’d make adjustments if the size doesn’t fit.
Thank God my husband stepped in and kicked them both out of our house, even tho it did end up with a really big argument between my fiance and his brother. I got contacted again later on by my BIL who said that my inability to make any compromises in order for his and his brother’s wedding experiences to be intertwined is straining their relationship.
Honestly at this point I’m just getting the creeps from BIL and my gut’s telling me that him and SIL may attempt to sabotage our wedding out of revenge and even my husband’s agrees with the sentiment.
We’re now strongly considering to uninvite both my BIL and SIL from our wedding, but my husband’s still a bit reluctant to do it yet cause of the inevitable drama it’ll cause with his family.. AITA ?
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
Living-Assumption272 − NTA. This is incredibly bizarre behavior and there must be a mental health issue involved. The BIL needs therapy. Your fiancé needs to talk to his brother and if he can’t get through you may want to go NC.
Allaboutbird − NTA. This is bizarre behavior and if you don’t nip it in the bud you’re going to wake up at 2am to your BIL standing over your bed trying to cut and style your hair exactly like his wife’s. These people are unhinged – keep your distance.
[Reddit User] − NTA, he definitely sounds like he has a bit of a s**ew loose. Part of me even thinks it’s some weird sexual thing
Serious-Currency108 − NTA. Your fiancé and BIL are not 5 anymore where they have to wear matching outfits and share toys. This is you and your fiance’s wedding, not your BIL and SIL. They had their day. You have yours the way you both want without your BIL inserting himself. BTW.. what is your MIL stance on all this?
Good_Ad6336 − Compromises? What compromises? Your wedding is between you and your future husband. Your BIL is delusional for thinking he has a say in your wedding.. NTA
Aggressive-Mind-2085 − NTA. What a creepy and ludicrous idea. Just refuse to further discuss it.. And if you don’t uninvite them, be careful: They might attempt to ruin your wedding dress, because in their sick minds they mifht think that would make you wear SIL’s dress.. .
So: Protect your dress well.. And: Hire security. If you invite them, to make them behave. If you don’t, to keep them away. THey seem to be unhinged.
Proud_Ad_8830 − I’m imagining SIL showing up to wedding in her wedding dress wanting pictures with the groom
[Reddit User] − I’m still scrolling through, reading the almost unanimous and definitely same-wavelength responses, and I just want to add one thing:. # WE’RE GONNA NEED AN UPDATE.. oh, NTA. Best wishes!
FuzzyMom2005 − NTA. That is creepy. I suggest passwords with all your vendors just in case. And a bouncer. Your wedding planner, security, someone to make sure your wedding and reception stays your Someone who will turn away anyone not invited or wearing a wedding dress (who isn’t you).
FitOrFat-1999 − Jeez. Your future BIL sounds like he has identity/separation issues bigtime. Why on earth does he want “his and his brother’s wedding experiences to be intertwined”?
They are 2 different people, with different preferences, making different choices, even if they are lookalikes. Stand your ground, and if you don’t uninvite them have people around to keep them away from you as much as possible.. NTA.
Do you think the user was justified in refusing to wear her sister-in-law’s wedding dress, or should she have been more accommodating for the sake of family harmony? How would you handle a similar situation where family expectations clash with personal preferences? Share your thoughts in the comments below!