AITA for refusing to watch my sister’s stepkid and exposing her lies to her husband?

A Reddit user shared how she refused to watch her sister’s stepchild and inadvertently exposed a series of lies her sister had been telling her husband. When the husband discovered the child had been left home alone, the truth unraveled, sparking a major conflict in their family.

Was the Redditor wrong for standing her ground or for revealing the truth? Read the full story below to find out more…

‘ AITA for refusing to watch my sister’s stepkid and exposing her lies to her husband?’

My f/21 sister Jess, f/30, is married and has a 5 yo stepson. her husband works full time and she is a sahm. Every monday, she’d call my mom at 9am to get her to go over to her house and watch her stepkid for few hours, I live at home with my parents and so I’ve noticed this routine for weeks now.

Last week mom went out of town to visit some relatives, and yesterday (monday) at 9am my sister called asking me to come watch her stepkid for few hours because she had an important thing to do. 

said no because I had to go study and also she does this every monday so clearly it wasn’t important or urgent but she insisted it was, I told her sorry but no. She ended the call then I went to the university.

Hours later, I got a call from my brother in law asking where my sister was, I said I had no idea. he proceeded to tell me he just came home at 1pm and found his son by himself at the house. I was in shock that my sister left her stepkid by himself so she could go God knows where. I told him about the conversation I had with her and he got angry.

In the evening my sister came over and started making a scene by yelling at me for bailing on her after she sent me a text message telling me she was already out the house to force me to come watch her stepson.

I didn’t see the fb message til she told me but she said I did this deliberately and also, exposed her to her husband because she told him she’d be at home with the kid. Not just that, but I also told her husband that mom comes over every monday morning to watch the kid for few hours which caused a huge fight between him and my sister. S

he yelled that I was petty and selfish and just stirred s**t and caused issues in her marriage by tattling to her husband. I couldn’t keep arguing I went into my room and started playing music. My dad and the others said I was to blame for not helping my sister and now being the reason she and her husband are in conflict.. AITA?

Okay guys so I saw few questions asked multiple times so I’ll just put the answers out here for all to see. 1) My brother in law’s wife is deceased. 2) brother in law is always at work when my sister calls my mom to get her to come over and watch her stepson.

3) most of you guys are asking where my sister goes every monday, and I even saw someone mention that I was YTA for not finding out, but I don’t know anything, I have no idea what’s going with my sister and I thought it was non of my business.
UPDATE: Guys! I’ve decided to try and find out what is really going with Jess.

I’m not the type to snoop and it’s not my business but she already made it my business by turning the family against me because of something she did. Ngl I came here thinking I was going to get toast but I wrong, thank goodness for that. I’ll update as soon as possible. Thanks 🙂

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

prop64TY −  NTA. So is your sister having an affair, or is she a d**g addict?

[Reddit User] −  NTA a 30 year old does not need this coddling. She left a 5 year old alone for who knows how long to get into who knows what trouble. The 5 year old needs some coddling. Not the grown woman who made a knowing and conscious decision to marry a man with a young son. Hope he divorces her.

[Reddit User] −  NTA, this is bonkers. She left a 5 y.o. alone, counting on a messaging app on a social network and your sense of concern for a child to make sure her responsibilities were covered. I don’t think going out one morning a week is a problem for a SAHM, but lying to your husband about it and forcing your relatives to cover it? No, sir.

poppurplepuff −  NTA. I hope her husband questions her on what exactly she does and where she goes when she’s supposed to be watching the kid. That’s sketchy af.

Here4thepostitnotes −  NTA and I can’t believe your family members are saying you are. She left a 5 year old alone. SHE is the ah. Also I’m nosy af, what does she do every Monday????

Ducky818 −  NTA. You are not the childcare. You do not have a contract or agreement to do it. She assumed she could guilt you into it at the last minute. Good for you for standing your ground. She created this mess, not you. She will have to fix this mess, not you. Her web of lies fell apart. I feel badly for the kid & BIL (but BIL made a choice, probably not the kid).

DocJ98 −  NTA. But your sister sure is. As are your parents for enabling her lies to her husband. You didn’t cause this, she did, with her lies. Did she ever say what was so important every Monday? A different guy maybe? You are definitely NTA.

FoolMe1nceShameOnU −  **Not only are you NTA, but let’s be EXTREMELY, EXCEPTIONALLY, ABSOLUTELY CRYSTAL CLEAR about something here:** My dad and the others said I was to blame for not helping my sister and now being the reason she and her husband are in conflict.

You are not to blame for ANY of this. **Your sister is to blame for EVERY SINGLE ASPECT of this, and there are plenty.** Just for fun, let’s enumerate some of them:

1) You are not to blame for “not helping your sister” in a situation where she only NEEDED help in the first place to cover up for a lie that she still hasn’t come clean about, and which is likely seriously problematic, since she’s been keeping it from her husband for weeks, if not longer. Not helping someone be sneaky and dishonest is not a character flaw on your part.

2) You are ABSOLUTELY not “the reason she and her husband are in conflict”. She is a 30 year old woman who made a deliberate and voluntary choice to leave a 5-year-old child alone for hours. That’s not just p**s-poor judgement, it’s child n**lect and completely illegal. It’s also not your responsibility.

You didn’t hold a gun to her head and force her not to take care of her stepchild, a responsibility she willingly took on and agreed to with her husband. She made that choice all by herself. In the eyes of the law she is completely culpable; and ethically she is as well. None of this is on you.

3) You are not to blame for the fact that she is seemingly incapable of taking responsibility for her own behaviour, and the rest of your family enable that, even when she endangers a child. Nope.

You are NTA, and good for you for saying something to your brother-in-law. He deserves to know that his wife is a liar and a danger to his small child. You may be the only decent person in your family.

Simon-Garths-Uncle −  NTA. A Facebook msg??? Jesus.

pokegirl395 −  NTA in the slightest. **She** choose to leave her stepson unattended. Not you. **She** decided that a daily (and most likely not important) thing was more important than her stepson. Not you. **She** choose to abuse the kindness of your parents. Not you. **She** is at fault for getting **herself** exposed. Not you. **She** decided to put her step child in danger. Not you.

Do you think the Redditor was at fault for refusing to help and revealing her sister’s actions, or was she justified in her stance? How should family members balance boundaries with supporting one another?  Share your thoughts and opinions in the comments below!