AITA for refusing to turn my office into a guest room?
A Reddit user recently found themselves in a disagreement with their wife about the use of their home’s spaces now that they are expecting their first baby. The couple currently has a 4-bedroom house, including a master bedroom, two guest rooms, and an office.
The wife wants to turn the office, the smallest room, into a guest room to accommodate family during visits. The user, an industrial designer and gamer, uses the office for work and leisure, with a large desktop, design table, 3D printer, and VR setup.
He feels that repurposing the space would not only interfere with his hobbies but would also be an inefficient use of space, especially considering they already have plenty of options for guests, such as pull-out mattresses and inflatable beds.
The wife, on the other hand, believes that it’s important to accommodate family, as they often host large gatherings and need extra rooms. They are at an impasse, with neither wanting to compromise. Read the full story below to explore their dilemma and decide who’s in the right.
‘ AITA for refusing to turn my office into a guest room?’
We are about to have our first baby and currently have a 4 bedroom house (a classic center hall colonial). 1 Master, 2 guest rooms, and an office. Having an office has always been super important to me because I am an industrial designer and gamer;
I have a large desktop and a separate ‘design table’ with a 3D printer, tools, cabinets, shelves and a VR set up. I’d just like to point out at this point that I’ve always put my wife first, I’m not that guy that ignores the wife and family to play video games.
I’m only really on the computer if she’s not home or if she is sleeping and this has seldom been a point of conflict in our relationship. There is no animosity between us, just a disagreement on how to use the space we have.
Now that we are having a baby she really wants to put the queen sized bed from the guest room into my office (the smallest room) which will really be cramping the space and making VR impossible. I’m obviously not a fan of this and would rather throw out the bed even though I hate the idea of wasting a whole mattress.
The reason for this is to accommodate when either of our parents and families come and stay over as they often need more than 1 room. However we have 3 pull out mattresses and 4 additional couches people can sleep on if needed. Not to mention 2 inflatable queen sized mattresses if we get really desperate (it has happened once).
I’ve offered to move my whole office to the basement but she does not like the idea of not being able to reach me right across the hall if needed. We are at a bit of an impasse and neither of us want to budge. I keep arguing that the house should be made to meet our needs and not worry about hosting other people.
She thinks we should be good hosts since we are kind of the center point of our families for gatherings and stuff. We are also the only one’s in both our families that have the space to host everyone so every holiday is usually at our house anyways. I don’t mind hosting, but I also don’t want to lose 50% of my office so that someone can crash there once every few months.
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
Jerseygirl2468 − NTA now that you have a baby on the way, you have one less guest room. If guests need more than you can provide, they can stay elsewhere.
A possible compromise might be something like a murphy bed or something similar. A friend of mine has a cabinet that folds out to a bed, it’s pretty neat.
chuckinhoutex − NTA- My argument would be that the space should be allocated based on the 95% usage, not the 5% usage. The 5% can take the less-than accommodations. If you didn’t use your office, then that argument would be out, but since you do, it stand up.
Living-Highlight7777 − ~~INFO~~ – If the basement is an option for your office, can’t it be an option for a guest room instead?
Edit – my question still stands, but NTA either way. Sounds like you offered plenty of compromises.
StAlvis − NAH. The reason for this is to accommodate when either of our parents and families come and stay over as they often need more than 1 room.
You do not need **that** many people staying under your roof.. Hotels exist for a reason.
*Two* guest rooms is a luxury for people with more space than they know what do to with. That is no longer your household.
LightPhotographer − Your wife seems to find the opinion of others very important. Furthermore she just finds reasons why her solution must be the only one.
I’m with you.
You guys live in the house, guests are only there for a few times a year, they get free housing, free food and good company; they do not expect a private Hilton suite.
NTA. Stop reasoning/arguing, this is not about the reasons or arguments, it is about something else.
glen230277 − NTA. You have two guest rooms (and presumably some sofas) already. And you can throw a camping stretcher or similar in the office when needed. But to permanently change your office space is not cool. Your own space and autonomy is important.
j_natron − NTA, put the bed in the basement if you can’t bear to get rid of it. Sounds like you already have loads of beds and frankly, once you have a brand new baby, you may not be up for hosting that many people anyway!
Own-Whereas-7420 − NTA. If it were me, one of them guest rooms gotta go ✌🏾
Tangerine_Bouquet − NTA. The bed can be moved to the basement, or a temporary option (like an inflatable mattress) can be used in the nursery (or even your office) only when guests are there. Don’t give up the home you live in for the occasional guests.
Having an office is a reasonable use of the space *by the people who live there*. It’s great that you have so much space for so many guests, but she can work something else out to not cause problems the other 90% of the time.
Hedgehog-lover11 − As the room will be used infrequently, why not turn the basement into a guest suite? You could argue that it gives them extra privacy.
it makes no sense for you to be there, especially with a baby as you won’t hear if you care called.. youre NTA.
Do you think the user is being unreasonable by refusing to turn his office into a guest room, or is his need for personal space and his hobbies valid? How would you resolve this situation in a home with limited space but high hosting needs? Share your thoughts below!