AITA for refusing to talk about my half brother anymore?

The original poster (OP), a 17-year-old girl, has endured lifelong hostility from her half-brother Sam (26). From childhood insults to outright indifference during her severe health struggles, Sam’s resentment has left deep scars. After years of emotional abuse, OP has declared she will no longer engage in conversations about him—a boundary her family refuses to respect.

‘ AITA for refusing to talk about my half brother anymore?’

Expert Opinions:

Toxic Sibling Relationships and Mental Health:
Dr. Joshua Coleman, psychologist and author of The Drama of the Gifted Child, highlights that prolonged sibling hostility can lead to chronic anxiety and depression. In Psychology Today, he states, “When a sibling repeatedly dismisses or dehumanizes another, it creates a trauma bond. OP’s refusal to engage is a protective measure, not pettiness.”

Parental Responsibility in Sibling Rivalry:
A 2021 study in the Journal of Family Psychology found that parents who fail to address persistent sibling conflict risk normalizing emotional abuse. Lead researcher Dr. Nicole Campione-Barr notes, “OP’s mother’s efforts—therapy, punishments—were insufficient. Sam’s behavior reflects unchecked entitlement, not just typical rivalry.”

Boundaries in Family Systems:
Family therapist Dr. Harriet Lerner, author of The Dance of Anger, argues, “OP’s boundary is healthy. Forced ‘reconciliation’ invalidates her pain. Families often prioritize harmony over accountability, which only deepens resentment.”

Impact of Chronic Illness on Family Dynamics:
Dr. Paula Rauch, a pediatric psychologist at Massachusetts General Hospital, explains in Harvard Health that siblings of chronically ill children often harbor jealousy. “However, Sam’s refusal to empathize, even as an adult, crosses into cruelty. OP’s asthma became a weapon, not a shared challenge.”

Solutions Proposed by Experts:

• Validate OP’s Autonomy: Dr. Coleman urges parents to respect OP’s boundary, as forcing interaction retraumatizes her.
• Family Therapy Without Sam: Dr. Lerner recommends sessions focused on OP’s needs, not reconciliation.
• Educate Extended Family: Dr. Campione-Barr suggests creating scripts for relatives to redirect conversations away from Sam.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Reddit users overwhelmingly sided with OP, calling Sam’s behavior “vicious” and “emotionally abusive.” Many urged her to go no-contact permanently, with some advising legal emancipation if family pressure persists. Critics accused OP of “holding grudges,” but most argued Sam’s actions—like wishing her dead—were unforgivable. A minority speculated the parents enabled Sam’s toxicity by prioritizing his presence over OP’s well-being.

This story forces us to confront uncomfortable truths about family loyalty. OP’s refusal to discuss Sam isn’t just about silence—it’s a demand for respect. Should families force unity at the cost of mental health, or is it time to redefine what “family” means? Where would you draw the line?