AITA for refusing to take my girlfriend back after she cheated “just to see if she still had it”?

A Redditor shares a dilemma after his girlfriend of two years cheated “to see if she still had it.” Despite her apologies and pleas for forgiveness, he’s struggling to reconcile her shallow reasoning with the relationship’s prior stability.

Mutual friends are urging him to forgive, but he wonders if his decision to stand firm makes him too harsh. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for refusing to take my girlfriend back after she cheated “just to see if she still had it”?’

I (30M) have been dating my girlfriend, Rachel (27F), for two years. She’s always been confident and charismatic, which is one of the things I loved about her. Our relationship seemed solid—good communication, lots of shared interests, and we were even talking about moving in together.

A few weeks ago, Rachel admitted to me that she cheated on me during a night out with her friends. She hooked up with some guy she met at a bar. I was completely blindsided. When I asked her why she did it, she said it wasn’t about me or our relationship but because she “wanted to see if she still had it.”

I told her that was a terrible excuse, and she started crying, saying it was a stupid mistake and that she regretted it immediately. She’s begged me to forgive her, saying she learned her lesson and that it would never happen again. But I can’t get over the fact that she was willing to risk our relationship for something so shallow.

She didn’t cheat because she was unhappy or because there was a problem between us—she cheated purely to stroke her ego. Now, Rachel and some of our mutual friends are calling me unforgiving, saying that “everyone makes mistakes” and that I’m throwing away a great relationship over one bad choice.

They say I should focus on her remorse and give her another chance. I feel like staying with her would mean betraying my own boundaries, but I’m starting to wonder if I’m being too harsh. AITA for refusing to take her back?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Wizard_of_Claus −  NTA. “Congrats, you still have it, but you sure as hell don’t have me.” The mutual friends are just as trashy as her. You’d be crazy to take her back.

DogTheBotHunter −  “am I being to harsh for leaving my girlfriend after she cheated” . Bruh. These types of stories are always so ridiculous 

Stock-Candy-4091 −  NTA NEVER LOOK BACK!

Nucf1ash −  “Now, Rachel and some of our mutual friends are calling me unforgiving, saying that “everyone makes mistakes” and that I’m throwing away a great relationship over one bad choice.”

As a thought exercise, I’m trying to define a “great relationship” that includes one partner hooking up with random, let’s presume infectious, partners on a whim…. I’m having trouble recognizing the greatness, here.

Fragrant_Spray −  It’s time to go. A year, 5 years, 10 years and two kids from now, she’s still going to wonder if she “still has it” when she sees a cute guy. Does she still have the ability to find a guy that will have s** with her?

Yes, she’ll probably have that for a long time. Does she still have the ability to make a serious long term monogamous relationship work? It looks like she never did. NTA.

WinterFront1431 −  D**p the friends they think you should forgive someone for dropping their knickers just to see if she still could. Vile.
Tell her she can go out and stroke her ego as much as she wants now.

processedmeat −  Now she gets to find out every weekend if she still has it. 

Crazy-_-boy −  NTA. Rachel’s reason for cheating is incredibly shallow, and it speaks volumes about her character. Cheating isn’t just a “mistake” – it’s a deliberate choice, and her reasoning shows a lack of respect for you and the relationship.

You have every right to set boundaries and decide that you don’t want to be with someone who risks your trust for something as trivial as boosting their ego.

While forgiveness is possible, it’s not something you owe her just because she’s remorseful – it’s a decision based on whether or not you feel you can trust her again. You’re not being too harsh; you’re protecting your own values and integrity.

fanastril −  NTA.. She admitted it was not a mistake. Her friends was there and watched as she hooked up with another guy. They are not your friends, and if their partners hear about this they should d**p their SO who stood by or encouraged it.

RobertHalquist −  You dodged a nuke bro. Lol

Do you think the user is right to stand by his boundaries, or should he focus on her remorse and give the relationship another shot? How would you handle such a betrayal? Share your perspective in the comments below!