AITA for refusing to take care of my wife since she caught the flu from having s** with her affair partner ?

A husband discovered his wife’s affair with a family friend after finding messages where the partner admitted to having the flu, which the wife also caught. Despite being sick, she begged him not to leave, but he packed and left, feeling betrayed.

Now, she’s pleading for help, saying menopause made her act irrationally and promising to end the affair. He refuses to return, and she’s worried about involving family since they’ll ask why he isn’t there. He wonders if leaving her alone while sick makes him an AH. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for refusing to take care of my wife since she caught the flu from having s** with her affair partner ?’

This is partially a rant, and partially an actual question. I (54m) have been married to my wife, Victoria (54f), for over 32 years. We have 3 adult daughters, and 1 adult son. Early this year, she started menopause. I loved her, and supported her throughout this difficult time.

She said she didn’t want to have s** because she felt like she’s fat and u**y. I told her she’s beautiful, and I was patient with her as she said she didn’t want s**. It was only since this month that she wanted us to have s** again. I thought things were getting better until I saw a condom wrapper in our bedroom.

My job involves going out of town for business trips. This last trip I tried to get into my wife’s social media and luckily enough she used someone’s birthday as the password. I found out her affair partner is Zachary (35m), a family friend who has a wife (29f). So, on my trip, I read so many messages.

One message involved Zachary asking if it’s okay to come over for their fun time since he thinks he’s coming down with something. Even after getting back in town, I read some messages. Zackary messaged that he and his wife have the flu so he can’t see my wife for a while.

My wife said that herself getting the flu was worth it. I came home to my wife who’s suffering from the flu. I immediately told her that I know about her and Zachary. She was upset but too weak from the flu to stop me from packing and leaving. She begged me to not leave her alone while she’s sick.

After I left, my wife has been messaging me. She said she’s very sick. I told her to go to the doctor, call ambulance, or call someone else. She said she’s not dying but she needs me. She said she can’t call our kids nor any other family member since they’ll ask why I’m not there.

She said that menopause had made her crazy and that she wouldn’t see Zachary anymore. I still haven’t gone back. Am I the a**hole ?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

avatarjulius −  I wouldn’t have packed and left. I would have drove her to Zachary’s place and told him you left this at my place.

DrAsthma −  Dude, so NTA. Play stupid games… Doubly so when said game comes with a f**king warning.

mustang19671967 −  call the. wife and tell her , call. all. your kids and tell them before she lies and do the kids right away . see a lawyer right away

Toiler24 −  NTA, leave her and don’t look back.

TheSanityInspector −  Menopause did not make her cheat. Mail order a carton of Nyquil to her, if you’re feeling a little compassionate.

PetrogradSwe −  NTA. Not much to discuss here. She violated your vows so the agreement to take care of each other is no longer valid.

Gohighsweetcherry −  Please see a lawyer. Do you live in a no fault state? If not you might have to take screenshots of the messages etc before she deletes them all. I’m sorry you have to go through this.

Gohighsweetcherry −  I hope you’ve told Zacharys wife.

kimberrynuts −  Definitely YTA if you take her back, she was unfaithful everything that happens as a result of that has nothing to do with you. Be a man. Forget about her

Icy-Reputation180 −  NTA. Tell her to let Zachery take care of her. Don’t go back, let Zachery’s wife know about the affair and then divorce her cheating ass. I’ve been married for 27 years. If she cheated on me, I’d be like horse 💩 and hit the trail. For me, cheating is nonnegotiable. I’m out, have a good life.

What would you do in this situation? Share your thoughts below!