AITA for refusing to switch my daughter to another school?

A Redditor refused to switch his 15-year-old daughter to the same elite private school her brother now attends. Although the daughter initially said she was happy at her current school and didn’t want to move, she’s recently become upset, feeling left out after seeing her brother’s textbooks and yearbook.

The father explains that while he can afford to switch her, he doesn’t believe the private school offers a better education—he only enrolled his son because the international curriculum aligns better with overseas universities.

He also has concerns about the daughter’s ability to fit into the new school, which is co-ed and primarily attended by the children of diplomats and wealthy locals, worrying it might negatively influence her. Despite the daughter’s newfound interest, the father remains firm in his decision. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for refusing to switch my daughter to another school ?’

I have a daughter (15F). She was always happy with her school and has good friends. Some years ago when my son was her age, I switched him to an elite private school. Not because I thought the education was better but they follow an international curriculum based on the UK system and this is helpful for applying to international universities who recognize the system.

My son will be studying engineering abroad. At the time when my son changed schools my daughter said she was happy not to switch schools and said it would be hard to make new friends etc. However now since he started attending she has gotten jealous and started reading his textbooks especially the science ones and going through things like the yearbook.

She is now upset with me because I refused to switch her to the school even though she herself at the time said she was happy where she was. While I can afford it, the education isn’t really better and I only sent my son there so that foreign universities recognize the credential better.

Furthermore the school environment would be quite different. She goes to a girls only school and this is co-ed and most of the girls at the school are foreigners with different values and usually the kids of diplomats and embassy workers and the boys are either the kids of diplomats or the ultra rich locals and I am concerned this could cause her to either not fit in or lose her morals.. AITA here

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

BananaMilkshakeButt −  YTA YTA YTA!!!!

1) You say the “school isn’t any better” and claim you sent your son there so “that foreign universities recognize the credential better”. So it is better, clearly, you just don’t see your daughter going to university, let alone one aboard. Why is that? Do you always undermine her?

2) “could cause her to either not fit in or lose her morals” As everyone else said, why are you not concerned with your son losing his morals? What are these other children getting up to that you don’t want your daughter getting up to?

3) You wanted to send her there but she said no, and now she wants to go, you don’t want her to? This makes NO F**KING SENSE. None at all.

Overall, you’re sexist. That is what it is. You view your daughter in a different light to your son. You belive she is at risk of “losing her morals” but you don’t worry that your son might either, or is it you wouldn’t care if he did?

Secondly, you seem to undermine her as a student – clearly you don’t think she go to uni or one aboard, but if you keep treating your daughter in a limited capacity, that is all she will achieve in life. YTA, a sexist one at that, you can make this right by sending her to the better school. Oh while you’re at it, apologise to her as well.

growsonwalls −  Info: are you worried about son “losing his morals” at his den of sin school?

Kaynico −  YTA.When she was younger and school was more about friends than education, she was fine with staying where she was. Now that she’s the same age as your son was when he switched schools, she’s looking through his *textbooks* and realizing that it’s far better opportunities….

yet you want to deny her that because she would be transferring out of an all girls school and “losing her morals.” This is probably the single most sexist thing I’ve read from a parent on this sub.

RZH0 −  YTA. The other boys may be local, and a lot of the girls are of foreign diploma type (compared to local, rich people). Do you not trust in the parenting you did of your daughter up until now? That you don’t trust her? She’ll just lose all morals she has built over the years with the help of her family and friends?

How is this not a concern when you sent your son? You trust your daughters judgement? Education is important. You say the quality of the education is the same, but you sent your son for the sake of opening up more international study opportunities.

You want this for your daughter as well, right? That internationally recognised status when applying for further education opportunities. This surely means something to you to have mentioned it. If she did face issue fitting in, that can happen in any school. You give advice to her to help her fit in.

Like joining clubs, finding the other student that share interests and passions. Just as you would in any school.

Apart-Ad-6518 −  YTA. I am concerned this could cause her to either not fit in or *lose her morals*.. That alone makes you the A H. It isn’t ok that you think it’s ok to deny your daughter opportunities she now says she wants that you’re giving your son. Plus you don’t seem concerned about him “losing his morals.”. Why?

discoduck007 −  YTA. Some of your justification for not sending her to this school sounds gender biased or even sexist as you said the girls who attend are one type of person and the boys who go there are another.

If the advantage gained by attending this new school is better for your son’s future would it not also expand the opportunities for your daughter? It seems natural for her to change her mind after seeing her brother get this opportunity.

Wouldn’t she also be able to maintain her current friendships outside of school? Also without her current friend group wouldn’t she have less social distractions making it easier to focus on her studies?. YTA

CupcakeMurder86 −  It’s a pretty AH move not to give you daughter the same opportunity as you son. The excuses you find about “losing herself” or “lose her morals” etc it seems that you don’t trust her at all.

If you daughter has her own morals, is a good kid that knows her rights from wrongs, then what’s your reason from not trusting her going to a school that’s different?
You also seems to think that because the new school is co-ed she will go “boy crazy” hormonal and basically f**k every kid.

Not to mention how low you think of the kids of diplomats and embassy workers. You are very xenophobic for someone that will send her son to study abroad.. YTA.

CoverCharacter8179 −  YTA. I know, different cultures and all that, but this reads pretty sexist to me. Why doesn’t your daughter get the same opportunities to study abroad as your son? And why does the concern about “losing … morals” not apply to him?

MissNikiL −  YTA. You were willing to send her before. Why is it a bigger deal now than it was then? Also, the morals comment is ridiculous. Just say you think she’ll lose her virginity and suddenly become a s** crazed siren.

Necessary-Corner3171 −  And nothing bad ever happens at a girls school that would cause your daughter to “lose her morals”?. YTA for that comment alone.