AITA for refusing to split my inheritance with my estranged sibling who’s now demanding money to cover their debt?
A 26-year-old man handled his father’s funeral and received the entirety of his inheritance, as specified in his father’s will. His older sibling (28NB), who went no-contact with the family five years ago, found out about the inheritance and is demanding half, citing “fairness” and their financial struggles. The man refused, stating his sibling chose to leave the family and didn’t even attend their father’s funeral. Mutual friends are siding with the sibling, leaving him wondering if he’s in the wrong.
‘ AITA for refusing to split my inheritance with my estranged sibling who’s now demanding money to cover their debt?’
So, I (26M) grew up in what I thought was a typical family. My older sibling (28NB) didn’t see it that way. About five years ago, they went completely no-contact with our parents, claiming “emotional neglect” and “favoritism.” They made a big, dramatic exit, cutting everyone off—including me. No calls, no texts, not even a “happy birthday.” It stung, but fine, I respected their choice and moved on.
Fast forward to this year, our dad passed away. It was devastating, and I stepped up to handle everything—funeral arrangements, sorting out his affairs, all of it. My sibling? Silent. They didn’t show up to the funeral, didn’t offer a single word of condolence. I handled it all alone.
Then came the will. Our dad left everything to me—the house, the savings, everything. He was clear that my sibling was left out because they chose to walk away from the family. I didn’t ask for this, but I won’t lie—it was a relief. The inheritance was enough to pay off my student loans, buy a house, and still have a safety net.
Here’s where it gets interesting. My sibling found out about the inheritance through a mutual friend. Suddenly, they’re back, reaching out for the first time in years—not to apologize or reconnect, but to demand money. And not just any money—they want half the inheritance, claiming it’s “only fair.” The kicker? They’re drowning in debt and said I’d be “inhumane” not to help them out since “family is family.”
I told them no. My reasoning is simple: they chose to leave. They didn’t even show up for dad’s funeral. Why should I go against his final wishes to bail them out of their bad decisions? Now they’re going around, dragging my name through the mud, calling me selfish, greedy, and heartless. Even mutual friends are chiming in, saying I should “do the right thing” because “they’re struggling.”
I can’t help but feel like this is manipulation. They ignored me for years, didn’t care about the family until there was money involved, and now I’m the bad guy for not wanting to share? If they had stayed, if they had even shown up for dad’s funeral, maybe I’d feel differently. But as it stands, I feel like they’re just here for a payout.
So, Reddit, AITA for refusing to share my inheritance with a sibling who cut ties and only came back when they needed money?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
WeddingFickle6513 − NTA. Your sibling doesn’t get to ask for inheritance after going NC. Your father was also very clear that you were the sole beneficiary. You are respecting his wishes.
Randolla1960 − Block them and go no contact, exactly like they did. You are under no obligation to share any part of your inheritance with them.
neverfearcovid − NTA, of course. They chose to leave. They have made poor choices across the board. None of that is a result of your actions, and none of that is your responsibility. Your dad left you 100% of the money for a reason. You should have no compunction of saying no to your sibling. The “right thing” in this case is to honor your father’s wishes.
You aren’t your siblings parent. They aren’t your responsibility. They can peddle their guilt somewhere else. And honestly, your friends saying you should help out aren’t your friends. Anyone who’s come into money has stories – plural – of people coming out of the woodwork trying to guilt them into giving some money up. Talk to professional athletes.
RazzmatazzOk9463 − NTA. Those mutual friends can start a pool of funds to help since they feel that way about it. Your dad had his will drawn up in a specific way for a reason.
DeliciousTea6683 − My dad is very rich and horribly a**sive. I’ve made the decision to go no contact. When he dies, I know I’m not seeing a penny, and you best believe I won’t be hovering over the rest of the family asking for my share. Meanwhile, my cousin has a rocky relationship with her dad and has openly told me she’s only hanging on for her share of the inheritance.
That’s how it works when you’re an adult who makes their own decisions and accepts the consequences. They left, that was their choice and they get to accept the consequences. NTA. If they’re drowning in debt they can get a second or third job like the rest of us.
Frozendreaam − NTA. They made their choice to cut ties. They didn’t even bother showing up for ur dad’s funeral. Now they suddenly want half bc they’re in debt? Thats some serious audacity. Its ur inheritance, u dont owe them anything. Its def manipulation.
TankWatch − This is very fake. “Family is family” updates usually are.
Crimsonwolf_83 − Info: so if you were willed a House, why did you need to buy a house?
What do you think? Is the man right to honor his father’s wishes and keep the inheritance, or should he compromise for the sake of his sibling’s struggles? Was the sibling’s return sincere or purely opportunistic? Share your thoughts below!