AITA for refusing to split my inheritance with my siblings?

A 19-year-old woman unexpectedly inherited $8 million from her estranged grandfather, who left everything to her in his will. Despite her distant relationship with him, she was the sole beneficiary, while her father, stepmother, and siblings received nothing. Now her family is pressuring her to split the money, claiming she’s undeserving and too young to manage it.

She refuses, citing her father’s irresponsibility, her older brother’s entitlement, and concerns that her younger sister’s mother would misuse any money given to her. She plans to support her sister’s college education when she’s older. The family is threatening legal action and cutting ties, leaving her questioning whether she’s morally in the wrong.

‘ AITA for refusing to split my inheritance with my siblings?’

I’ll try to summarize as much as possible. I (f19) have an estranged grandpa more or less. He’s my dad’s father, but my dad hardly had a relationship with him. I have two other siblings (one younger, (13) and one older (26). My grandma divorced my grandpa when my dad was only 10, so he lived with my grandma his whole life in a different state and didn’t see him.

When he got older he saw him a little more and my grandpa started coming around a little bit more as well. He’d stay for a week at a time and then go home. He was an old, bitter man to be honest. He never got remarried and lived his whole life in his coastal town with the same friends he’d had his whole life. He wasn’t pleasant to be around and could hold grudges longer than anyone I’ve ever met. But regardless of this, he was filthy rich.

He owned a successful business that he sold for $1m dollars. He retired after selling, but his house sits on an island as well as the biggest piece of land on the island. So it sold for well over $3m. I was never close with my grandpa, but I took after his sister who is an RN and he adores her. He always told me that he was proud to see me follow in her footsteps.

He died a few months ago. Since then, my family has been torn apart. He left everything to me. He essentially liquidated all of his assets and it ended up being close to 8 million dollars. I was shocked. I didn’t and still don’t know what to do with the money, but I’m going to save it. My dad and stepmom as well as my siblings are hounding me to split the money with them. I just can’t do it.

My dad is an a**oholic who never said anything nice about his dad. Despite him being bitter, my grandpa actually bought my dad a $300,000 house. My dad would 100% drink away any money given to him. As far as my siblings, my brother has full financial support from my grandma as he is the favorite and he’s very wasteful and ungrateful. He never talks to me and always is very mean to me when he does.

My little sister is the only person I’ve actually considered. She’s very young and that’s really the only thing stopping me. Her mom is money oriented and would take the money from her. So I’m waiting until she turns 18 and i offered to pay for her college. But now my family is telling me I’m unfair and the money doesn’t belong to me and I’m not deserving of it. That I’m too young and I’ll waste it on cars and clothes.

I don’t agree and now they’re all threatening to cut me off and never speak to me, or even sue me if I don’t give them all a chunk of the money. I don’t know what to do and I’m buckling under pressure here. I’ve already had 2 police officers out to my house because my dad is claiming I stole the money from him. Everything was through an attorney, I know I did nothing wrong legally.. but morally? Idk. So AITA?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

greenapple111 −  NTA, my god these entitled people. If they want to cut you off for money that your grandpa willed to you show them the door. Buy yourself a lovely home and move away from them, pay for your sisters college and save the rest. Edit: thank u for my first silver!! Woohoo!

And also OP be careful of any brand new “friends” you may encounter, there’ll be so many at your age.. So many stories online of how young people get a lump sum of money yet loose it all. It’s easier to make money than to keep it. Best to check with a financial adviser To invest and hopefully just live on the interest, like many on here have suggested if you haven’t already… 🙂

[Reddit User] −  NTA considering the circumstances u mentioned. Lawyer tf up. If they’re gonna sue u, u might as well be prepared to deal with the ba. Also in terms of money I highly recommend u invest. I don’t wanna tell u what to do but u can turn that 8 million into generational wealth that can continue to provide for ur family for decades to come Damn how did this get so many upvotes lol

Artsy_Fartsy_Fox −  NTA Your reasoning sounds very sound and honestly people will turn on each other when money is involved. I highly suggest:. 1. Getting a good lawyer
2. Getting an accredited financial adviser so you can plan/save 3. If you want to give your sister money you can set up a trust for her. That way she cant touch the money until she is 18. Again an adviser will help with this.

4. Tell people what you have on a very need to know basis. Friends and family can and will turn on you. Ik this sounds scary but I’d advise you to look up the history of lottery winners. In the mean time, take care of yourself. Be smart and do not over spend.

annjones2012 −  NTA . You do not owe them any money. Just because they are blood doesnt mean they are family. If you want to help your little sibling. Put it in a trust that only she can touch at a certain age. And pay for her schooling directly just incase her greedy mom or dad try to touch it or talk her into giving it to them. Invest wisely and be happy. Your grandpa might be an old grumpy man but he saw something in you.

Grey_Matter_Mutters −  NTA. Keep multiple copies of all the paperwork regarding his Will and your inheritance. Make sure the funds are in a secure account that your family has no access too (ideally that they don’t even know anything about). Look into legal council and research investment advisement resources and strategies.
Don’t. Give. Anyone. Anything. Not one dollar.

After you look into your investment options, you can ask about setting up a investment/trust/portfolio for your younger sister to use under stipulation that any funds go directly to her college/university/post-secondary training, and thereafter any remaining can get paid out to her on some future birthday (25, 28, 30, whatever so she has something in the future and ideally she’ll be more savvy with it and keep your parents mitts off it).

Good luck OP. I’m really sorry this situation has exacerbated your family’s various issues…. but it’s also shown you their true colors. I hope you can get out/away safely. Please take care.

banerises19 −  Of course not! You are entitled to your inheritance, they have no right to pressure you into sharing it. I’m fact, you’re old enough and this sounds like a really toxic environment. Would you consider moving out? Also, you are really young and will be inexperienced with money. Please don’t share with your friends how much you actually have, keep that always private. Use it wisely.. NTA.

LiquidDreamtime −  YTA Again, while I’m not surprised, I’m saddened by the outrageously selfish and entitled responses of this sub. Your grandfather, was by all accounts, a complete AH. So now, you’re claiming you’re NTA because you’re doing as he wishes? Split it with your siblings and other grandchildren. Let his selfish favoritism die with him, don’t extend that legacy.

If you’re absolutely convinced your family is worthless and will squander everything. Put a large sum into a trust that pays out $1250/mo to each of your siblings and parents. This is the federal tax free gift maximum and will set them up to never be unable to afford food and rent so as long as they do the bare minimum of work.

Edit: this could be set up in a way that they receive $15k/yr for life. They won’t be rich but they’ll never be homeless or hungry. You’ve been granted a gift that could allow you to take care of the people who matter most to you, and you’re being very selfish about it.

mschuster91 −  I’ve already had 2 police officers out to my house because my dad is claiming I stole the money from him. Holy hell lawyer up *now*, at least get a restraining order on the whole batch, and if you feel fit sue their asses off for false accusations or misuse of police services. Park the money somewhere safe (separate bank account at a separate bank,

do not invest it in anything risky), and follow the “windfall” guideline of r/personalfinance. Don’t spend any of the money until your lawyer gives you the “all clear”, and don’t give your money to any of the entitled asses! As for your little sister: you can lock up a chunk of the money (think 200-500k) in a designated “college fund” that can only be accessed for college-related expenses (tuition, living costs, the likes) once she turns 18.

Talk to your lawyer about setting up that one.Edit: and also, set up a will of your own that excludes the whole family from anything and make that known to them. 8M dollars is something that some people would kill for and from the sound of your posts they could be deranged/feel entitled enough to do this.

Rahrah5625 −  NTA. I do have one question, have you considered cutting your family off? Cause they’re all douches, except lil sis ofc.

Llamasinthewild −  ESH. I think keeping all of the inheritance would be selfish. Your grandfather sounds very spiteful and manipulative and he has fully consigned you to a similar lonely life as him. Your family are also being turds but looks like they didn’t have the privilege of being his favourite so they got treated like s**t. You can keep all the money for sure but I would think about ways to help use that to heal the family rift.

Like your dad is a wasteful a**oholic? Set up trust with rehab as a condition of a monthly income. Your sister, cover her educational expenses but you don’t oe your step mother anything. Otherwise you’re just going to be rich and lonely like the guy you inherited your money from. I’m not saying split it equally but 8mil is more than enough money for a lifetime. You can definitely fo something for your family members.

Is she obligated to share her inheritance out of moral duty, or does her grandfather’s clear intentions in the will absolve her of that responsibility? Does family loyalty outweigh financial security, especially when that family has been unsupportive? How would you handle the pressure of managing such a large inheritance amid family conflict? Share your thoughts below!