AITA for refusing to split my inheritance with my siblings?

Inheritance conflicts can quickly unravel even the closest of families—especially when past estrangements and longstanding resentments are involved. In this case, our OP, a 19‑year‑old who recently inherited nearly 8 million dollars from her estranged grandfather, faces enormous pressure from her family to split the money with her father, stepmom, and siblings.

The background is complex: her grandfather, who was never a warm presence, left everything to her despite the strained relationships within the family. Her father, an alcoholic who squandered what little praise he got from his own father, her older brother—favored and wasteful—and her younger sister (whom OP has promised to support for college once she turns 18) all now claim that the money “should” be shared.

As threats of cutting off contact and even lawsuits loom over her, OP wonders whether refusing to split the inheritance makes her the asshole or if she’s within her rights to safeguard what was legally and rightfully hers.

‘ AITA for refusing to split my inheritance with my siblings?’

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist specializing in family dynamics, explains, “In cases of inheritance disputes, emotions often run as high as the stakes. If a person inherits money through legal channels and without any explicit agreement to share, it is not inherently unethical to keep it.

The real issue here is the underlying family dysfunction—resentment, favoritism, and long-standing grievances. When family members attempt to retroactively claim a share, it often reflects deeper unresolved issues rather than an objective entitlement to the money.” (kidshealth.org)

Family therapist Dr. Susan Johnson adds, “Financial boundaries are crucial, especially in families with a history of strained relationships. OP’s decision to keep her inheritance, particularly in light of her family’s problematic behavior and her own plans for the future, is understandable. While empathy for one’s relatives is important, it should not come at the cost of one’s own financial security or long-term wellbeing.

Clear communication about boundaries—preferably with the help of a mediator—might alleviate some of the tension, but it’s ultimately up to OP to decide how to manage her inheritance.” Both experts agree that while the emotional side of inheritance disputes is complex, legally and morally OP is justified in keeping the money if that is what she has been entrusted with, especially if there was no prior agreement to share it.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Many redditors empathize with OP’s stance. “If you inherited it legally and there was no promise to split, then you’re entitled to keep it. Family drama aside, you have every right to safeguard your future,” one commenter noted.

Ultimately, OP’s refusal to split her inheritance stems from a place of self-preservation and a history of family dysfunction. While her relatives may feel entitled to a share, legally and ethically the money was entrusted to her alone. Is it fair for OP to keep her inheritance if there was no prior agreement to share it, or should family members’ longstanding contributions (or lack thereof) affect the decision?

What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below—how do you balance familial obligations with your own future needs?